Should I text him to ask if he's alright?


Home Forums Texting Advice Should I text him to ask if he's alright?

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  • #540120 Reply
    Eve

    Dear All,

    I need your advice on a certain problem. I met a guy online about 5 months ago, we were exchanging emails on a daily basis for 2 months then we decided for a personal meeting. He lives far from me, in another city, so we agreed to meet somewhere in a city between our home towns. When we met we almost immediately fell for each other. We fall hard, but our LDR was hard to manage, it was difficult to see each other IRL, we could only have 4 more IRL dates and he became tense and unhappy about it, so we broke up about a month ago. We broke up on good terms, without any hard feelings or drama and as we were very close to each other emotionally, we agreed to stay friends. We kept emailing to each other every day, he told me I am a very important person in his life and he made me feel that way too. We got even closer than we were before, we shared our deepest thoughts and feelings with each other, we supported and inspired each other, there was a lot of love and intimacy between us even as friends. The problem is that he kind of disappeared a few days ago, there’s no news from him. We didn’t agrue or fight, we were as close as always. I have never been nagging or clingy, I always respected his peronal life and his freedom. I have no idea what has happened. Even when we were just friends, no day passed without a message from him, he wrote me a few lines even if he was terribly busy or terribly tired. I’m kind of worried: is he OK, has something happened to him? I’m wondering whether I should text him a few lines after a couple of more days, just to make sure if he’s ok. Do you think it’s a good idea? Or shall I just accept that he disappeared for whatever reason?

    Thank you for your attention!

    Eve

    #540122 Reply
    Shannon

    Sure, go ahead, text him. You’re friends, as you said. If one of your friends suddenly went AWOL, wouldn’t you shoot them a text. Be casual, though. “Hey, haven’t heard from you in a few days, what’s up?”

    #540124 Reply
    Raven

    If you are truly concerned about his health & safety, call him…

    #540143 Reply
    Eve

    Thank you for your opinion! I think I will text him, we raraly called, just before our dates, we did some video calls via skype, but he said he prefered being with me IRL. Our regular means of communication were long emails. Or maybe I will text him on his phone, though I know he checks and writes emails on his phone too, he does everything on his phone.

    #540346 Reply
    Sal

    Is this guy single? I’m reading of red flags here.

    #540349 Reply
    Janet

    Me too *Sal* he sounds married or at least attached. My other thought was he has found someone else.
    I say ring him.

    #540353 Reply
    Forever Young

    Your regular means of communications were long emails? This smells of either “married” or “attached”. You broke up and agreed to be friends? Sounds to me dear like he is no longer interested, sorry. He could not handle the long distance. Agreeing to be friends with men means they are going to keep you around on the back burner. You will not be a priority.

    Also if you were really an important person in his life, he would not disappear without a word

    I would text him casually and ask how everything is. You might not hear from him. If there is radio silence, I afraid to say he is done.

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