Should I text him and be honest?

Hi Emma,

His reasons might seem stupid to you, but all he was trying to say that you are not a good match. I think he was ok with what I would call summer romance and knew nothing else would happen between you. I don’t know how you want to carry on seeing him when you finally return to your countries for good? France and Germany are not that far tbh.
But to answer your question I think you should just see this as an adventure, I don’t think he hurt you per se, he was quite honest with you about his intentions and what he can or can’t give. You proceed with seeing him so he assumed you are ok with being in that friendzone. And I do believe his intentions weren’t to hurt you. So I would just stay silent , if in 4 weeks you feel like meeting him in person , do so, but I don’t think you should.

You’re not looking for the same things. He already decided that he can’t see your logistics working out in the long-term, and that he doesn’t really want to deal with it. I don’t think that has anything to do with you, he’s just being honest that he’s not looking for anything so serious at this point. He does have feelings for you, though, so he then tried to convince himself to only see the incompatibilities to double down on his decision to keep things as either casual or only friendship. He’s actually being a good guy in telling you this so early, before things go far and you are very attached and get more hurt, even though it wasn’t what you wanted to hear. But he has weak boundaries on follow through because he likes you well enough and, more importantly, he’s attracted to you and is hoping you’ll be okay with something more casual — this makes him seem more ambivalent than he actually is. But he doesn’t want a real relationship with you.

And again, how much he likes you at this point is irrelevant as he simply doesn’t want to put the work in that he’d need to for a long-term relationship. You don’t want to be with a man who isn’t committed if you’re looking for a real relationship, and if you feel you need to win him over and change his mind, it’ll most likely come up yet again later on when you’re even more attached and backfire on you. I’ve had a lot of experiences like that, and I’ve learned you want to start something with a man who is ready and also wants it, not one throwing up obstacles or keeping distance instead of getting to fully know each other, because that second kind generally eventually ends in heartbreak.

If you want to tell him how you feel just to get it off your chest with no expectations, that’s fine. But don’t do it in hopes of changing anything. Even if it did temporarily win him over (which, let’s be real, would end up with some hooking up before he stops things again), it doesn’t fix the problems, which are associated with distance, logistics, being young, and not looking for that type of commitment in spite of the the feelings are. I’d either go no contact to get over him (and if you really want to be just friends after you’re over him, you can cross that bridge when you come to it), or I might tell him how I felt knowing it won’t change anything (but so I didn’t later try to trick myself into thinking but what if I’d said something?) before going no contact.

BTW, roller coaster behavior only keeps going if you accept it. So in the future, as soon as you feel you’re getting on a roller coaster, don’t tolerate it. It’s a huge red flag that something isn’t working, and walking away for real and for good is generally the best way to get off the roller coaster.