This topic contains 10 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Newbie 1 week, 3 days ago.
January 11, 2021 at 3:02 pm #836771
I am totally in love with a guy who isn’t quite as keen back. We had a semi LDR but decided to just be friends a couple of months ago as there was no end in sight for us to be in the same country and Covid meant we couldn’t see each other. It has been tearing me apart for months now as I want more from him than he is able to give me. I’m on such a rollercoaster of a huge high when he messages me followed by a horrible low when it takes days before he responds again.
Last week I finally said I didn’t want to be ‘friends’ and that we should have a break from each other until we are in the same city again in a few months time. Initially I blocked him because I didn’t trust myself not to message him. I noticed I was a lot less obsessed with my phone. Now I have unblocked him because I can’t bear the thought I might miss a message from him. But I am constantly on edge waiting for his message tone to go off…
I would love some opinions on whether it is better to block someones number during no contact, or just ignore them. And how long were you in no contact before they reached out? It hasn’t even been a week and it feels like torture.January 11, 2021 at 11:41 pm #836815
You’re itchy waiting for his call.January 12, 2021 at 2:52 am #836830
The guy takes days to respond is what I am reading. H e doesnt care about loosing you
Nothing will change when you are closer and in the same city
He is not into you
BLOCK HIMJanuary 12, 2021 at 6:34 am #836861
Thanks. Looking back we were in contact most days, just not as frequently as I wanted to be. I am too scared to block him in case I miss a message from him. But I also think it keeps the hope alive.
How long until this starts getting better?! And is it necessary to block him for this?January 12, 2021 at 6:56 pm #836923
You like him more than he likes you. Why is that okay with you? Why are you waiting by the phone for a guy who you’ve admitted doesn’t like you as much as you like him?
You are behaving in a less-than mentally healthy manner. A little deseparate for crumbs, perhaps. You deserve a guy who really likes you. I suggest blocking him. Then, as time goes by, it will get easier. At the very least you will get some perspective about what’s best for YOU.January 12, 2021 at 7:59 pm #836933
By blocking him, you are afraid he will suddenly see the light & contact you & you’ll miss his call… He ain’t gonna call.
I’ve been there & done that & ridding him is scary & once it’s done, it is a relief…January 13, 2021 at 2:50 pm #837048
I dont think you should block him.
After all it was you who decided to give the friendship a break thats why you havent heard from him.
Blocking him is harsh and closes the door which you dont want to do.
My advice to you Dont chase him! Dont text him. Chances are eventually he will text you. If he does wait a few days before you reply!youre being too clingy and thats why he doesnt respond so quickly.
In the meantime go out and get a life go to the gym, get fit. See a friend or get a hobby!
Dont sit around waiting for anyone. If he doesnt contact you do you really want to be with someone that isnt that into you? You deserve better.
Go on a dating site and have a bit of fun! I wish you luck and love!January 13, 2021 at 3:20 pm #837051
Thanks Marta, I sort of feel in myself that your advice is the right thing to do. Blocking seems like a bit of an over reaction and we left it on nice friendly terms when we last spoke. I was the one who said let’s have some space and I certainly don’t want to think the door is totally closed for the future, I just want to stop thinking about him so much and be more chilled about the whole thing.
It is half working – I feel more chilled but I also still think about him a lot. It’s only been a week since we stopped speaking so hopefully thoughts of him will reduce with time as well.January 14, 2021 at 1:54 am #837104
Treeclimber – I would never approach the person who blocks me ever again. Since you think the door is not closed, all you need is a remedy that stabilizes your emotions and suppresses your desire to contact. Why not just delete his number? Let him come to you.
Soon you will get over this. Trust me. I have had fair amount of heartbreak. Being emotionally drained is much more tiring than having a control in your life. Go talk to other people.January 14, 2021 at 8:20 am #837131
Lesley, thanks for your advice. I’ve deleted the number now so I can’t message (and I also can’t keep checking the WhatsApp chat window to see if he is online…) I do feel that blocking would be a bit strong and as you say I don’t want to totally close the door.
Thanks for your message of hope as well, I’m sure it will get easier :)January 16, 2021 at 4:34 pm #837459
You need to retrain your brain. Every time you think about him, you have to overwrite it with a: i dont want a man who doesnt want me. Over and over. And really why whould you want a man that doesnt want you. I agree with mama. I totally do not agree with marta. Thats no contact and he will come back bs. Same rule applies: why would you wait for a man who doesnt want you. It really gets easier after a week of no contact.