Should I ask him out?

We see each other every 1.5 weeks- do you think that’s not good enough/slow? Also, we met online so I guess that’s slightly different as we don’t really know each other before hand. He did mention he’s not too sure how to progress as he’s been single for a really long time.

But yeah he’s showing up for dates and paying for everything. Texts throughout the day everyday and replies quickly.

Do you think this is going nowhere? Is this a case of ‘he’s just not that into me’?
(Sorry, pretty new at this)

What are your ages and is he an introvert guy? If he is 30plus and introverted, you might ask him. I have a guy friend where the girl had to drag him into bed to get them committed. But thats rare

Thanks so much for the great response guys :) He’s 26 and I’m 22. He loves Netflix and the cinema. A software/computering graduate. Talks about his career a lot. Mentioned he gets stressed out over small talks and crowded places. Also mentioned usually wants to be friends first before going onto dating- so maybe that’s my answer right there. Surely he enjoys my company too, if not he wouldn’t still be talking to me?

Since I’m not too emotionally invested like someone here suggested I do, all I can say at the moment is I enjoy spending time with him. I’m also slowly observing if he’s someone I want to date properly, I’m liking what I see so far:) I used to do that love at first sight/ sparks flying everywhere thing in the past but both turned out badly. Trying a new approach to take things slow this time.

Nice things he does I’ve noticed: binge watched one of my favourite TV show I recommended in just a day, paid for everything (expensive meals), texts throughout the day (quick replies even at work and on Christmas day), mature, usually lets me pick meet up times/days.

In terms of moving things forward, it’s very slow… But it was nice that he told me about his stress at work and daily stuff. One of our conversations ended last week and I didn’t text him for 5 days so that I can see what he would do next. He ended up initiating a text and asking me to the cinema.

What do you guys think? Is he just being nice? I’m not super pretty but I’m pleasant-looking and fit so I seriously hope he’s not looking for something casual, I’m not that person.

I think its going OK based on what you said about him. I understand the engineering mind, its logical, rational and methodical so it fits within his personality type.

I would be a concerned with the fact he doesn’t like “small talk” and “avoids crowds” as that could be a very limiting factor in a relationship where you could end up feeling very alone eve thought you aren’t. I would continue to observe to determine if its what inhibits him from forming bonds, with not only you but others in general.

I think building a friendship before a relationship is best IF that’s the path he’s taking you down and not just as “a friend.” Has he mentioned any of his intentions with you or is he treating you like a friend? I would definitely want some clarification on his intentions before proceeding or you could be wasting your time going nowhere.

I think he is just seeing you and getting to know you presently as a friend. so its ok if you do ask him out for a movie or dinner. I think after another 2/3 meetings, the pic should get clear. but try not investing in him too much emotionally or mentally or you may end up getting hurt if things don’t progress beyond casual occasional friendship. do accept other dates and don’t lock your self down for the present.

Re: Jo
He works full time in the city so as soon as he gets home, it’s dinner and chill I’m guessing ( he lives with his parents). He sometimes goes to the cinema after work.

Hmm not sure, he maybe needing time alone. He’s quite high up at the firm so I’m guessing that’d be quite exhausting.

At the moment it’s not an issue for me as I’m not looking for anything serious

I’m wondering why he still lives with his parents if he (presumably) has a good paying job? I assume that because you said he’s high up in his firm. At age 26 I would think he would want his own place. Do you have any insight on that?

I agree that he sounds like he has introvert characteristics (not liking small talk or crowds, etc). However my boyfriend is definitely an introvert and still was very proactive about showing romantic interest and taking me out 2 or sometimes even 3 times a week, the first couple months we were dating. So I agree with what others have said that it seems that this is moving rather slow, if you’ve only been out 4 times in 2 months.

“He said in his past experience that he likes to be friends first before dating and he wants to get to know me as a friend just now”– I think you should believe what he’s saying. Honestly he sounds like a kind person (paying when you go out, etc) but it really sounds to me like he’s approaching you as a friend for the moment. Which is exactly what he’s telling you. Especially since after 4 dates he has not even held your hand or kissed you. I don’t think he’s feeling a strong romantic pull towards you or he’d be asking to see you more. From what you’ve said, he isn’t shy about asking.

I agree with Tammy that you should wait it out for a few more dates and see if he steps it up at all. But don’t get emotionally invested and keep yourself open to other guys. Since you’re seeing each other as friends now, I don’t see anything wrong with suggesting that you get together, as you would with any friend.

@ Liz Lemon
He wants to pay off all loans and buy a property so he’s saving up. You’re right, he is really kind and lovely. Whenever I wanted to talk, he’ll be there even when it’s not the best time for him. But he seems closed off on his end for some reason as someone mentioned earlier here.

Anyway, I’ll take everyone’s advice and try not to get too invested. Thanks!