Seems We Have Solved Dating Problems…


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  • This topic has 41 replies and was last updated 1 week ago by Maddie.
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  • #941087 Reply
    Raven

    Well (mostly) Ladies the Forum has been an extremely quite for a week, less the occasional trolls…

    While it’s quiet, anything we’d like to just chat about?

    I want to know where T from NY went,
    I’m curious about P & how things are going with her GF,

    I’m curious about the regulars here & how you found this forum, why you chose your screen name, & stuff like that…

    #941088 Reply
    Raven

    I’ll start, I choose my screen name Raven, cos they are supposedly wise- but mostly I’m just an old Crow 🤣

    #941089 Reply
    Gaia

    Hi Raven… I love your name and your no nonsense approach to answering people.

    I found this forum a few years ago after being cheated on. Venting and expressing my emotions here helped me cope with the loss of the relationship. So far I haven’t had much of an issue with the guy I’m currently seeing but both of us are keeping it casual since it is long distance. It works for both of us for now.

    I’d love to know about the others as well!

    #941091 Reply
    Raven

    Hi Gaia, I love your insight!
    I’m glad you’re here 🙏🏼

    #941096 Reply
    Raven

    Where is everyone from?

    I’m in the Greater Seattle area

    #941098 Reply
    Kathy

    Raven, I’m not a regular, but I’ve been here a long time. I’m from Nashville, TN.
    I hope more people chime in!

    #941100 Reply
    Tammy

    Hey raven and kathy! Gaia! Nice to hear. Am from indian descent though presntly residing in nj..

    #941104 Reply
    Raven

    Hi Kathy, Yes you’ve been here for a while!

    Hi Tammy, it’s nice to have some diversity!

    #941105 Reply
    Maddie

    Raven, I’d never have pegged you as living in the PNW, you’re so concise and direct lol! And I love the subject for the thread.

    I posted here a zillion years ago when I was desperately upset and looking for answers. I was in a long term relationship with an emotionally unavailable guy who kept switching us on and off, and I got very helpful comments! A zillion years later after I got my own stuff together and stopped dating on repeat, I stumbled on a link back to it. Thought I could pay it forward now that I learned from my experiences of dating every kind of time waster, figured out why I was doing that, and took the responsibility to stop choosing and sticking with those partners. There’s a lot of bad dating advice out there to play games and stick with incompatible partners in power struggles that doesn’t fix anything for anyone, so I see it as it’s good that better information sources exist somewhere!

    #941116 Reply
    Kash

    Hi Raven, I stumbled upon this forum in 2014 when i was dating a guy and wasn’t sure if he was falling for me. I was very desperate for it to work. I got good advice here and also from the articles.

    I post here very less but do read the posts. I am from India. I love your no nonsense attitude.

    #941117 Reply
    mama

    I found this site when I started dating again about 5 or 6 (maybe 7?) years ago, and boy was I out of practice! This forum and the articles on this site gave me good advice, and I applied advice that seemed applicable to my life, even if the advice was for someone else. It’s blunt and straightforward, and as long as someone doesn’t take it too personally and come form an open perspective, it can be very helpful.

    I found my guy and we were married a few months ago, and I STILL use some of the relationship advice when perusing and commenting myself. Great site, great forum.

    #941118 Reply
    Raven

    Maddie, You must be a professional writer!

    I’ve always been to the point & then I married a New Yorker…

    I’m glad you’re here!

    #941119 Reply
    Raven

    @Kash, how are your studies going?

    I’m glad you’re here & for the diversity you bring!

    #941120 Reply
    Raven

    Mama, Congrats Newly Wed…

    I’m curious where you’re from…

    I’m glad you’re here!

    #941135 Reply
    Kash

    Raven, tbh my studies are going sh*t. I am still not over the guy and no matter what I do i am only missing him more and more, he just doesn’t seem to be leaving my head or heart at all. It has affected every part of my life and i have become a total loser. I never thought it was possible to miss someone to this extent that it makes you wanna consider death as an alternative. I am trying to cope but all my coping mechanisms have failed. No therapy or anything is able to help me. I just want him and nothing changes that. I have totally lost it.

    Didn’t want to put my depressing post under this happy title but i wanted to be honest.

    #941140 Reply
    Ewa

    I’m Ewa and this is my real name :) I am originally from Poland but I live in England.

    #941142 Reply
    Khadija

    Hey Raven!
    Good to see you are still around. My real name is Khadija at time I couldn’t think of a screen name so I went with my real name.

    I found this forum after a guy I was dating ghosted me without any signs or warnings. At the time it really threw me but, I look back on it and it was all for the best. This forum really helped me make better choices about dating. I got married 2 years ago and I have a 1 year old daughter.

    #941145 Reply
    Raven

    @Kash, PLEASE go see a Medical Dr. As soon as you can!

    #941146 Reply
    Raven

    Hi Ewa, Yay, more diversity… I’m glad you’re here!

    #941147 Reply
    Raven

    Hi Khadija, Congrats on your baby ❤️

    This place has sure changed since we first ‘met.’

    I’m glad you’re back in the mix!

    #941151 Reply
    mama

    I am also from the same area Raven!

    And I agree with Raven, Kash, please go see your doc asap or go to an ER or urgent care if you think you might do something today, or tomorrow. Sometimes medication can help start you on a path to a better perspective — you don’t have to take it forever but if you’re trying to overcome your grief on your own, the task can feel daunting.

    If you are in the US, you can call 988 if you are worried about yourself, and you can to talk to someone immediately.

    #941162 Reply
    Kash

    I’m trying to see a new therapist about my situation. Thank you for the concern ladies.

    #941359 Reply
    Raven

    Another slow week… Any recipes to share?

    #941365 Reply
    P

    It’s been ages but this site is still a bit glitchy! Trying to post ….

    #941366 Reply
    P

    Hi Raven !

    I haven’t been around in awhile, it was so lovely to see your post :)

    I’m still seeing my girlfriend but I realized recently that in order to have the relationship i had to drop any expectations in order for it to work, follow through, emotional support, events etc. Having zero expectations and seeing one another once a week or even once a fortnight after 19 months of dating makes this a casual situation for me. She has finally stopped promising to spend extra time with me on her free weeks at my request as she always cancelled. She never has been able to stay with me for more than 2 nights without running home or picking a massive fight to create distance.

    we will have a great time when we do see one another, things will be amazing, feeling connected, bonded and then the feeling that finally we are on solid ground. Then a day or two later she will start picking fights over text or phone or skype. Telling, me we don’t work, that I don’t care, taking what I said and turning it into a negative about her. Rinse and repeat.

    While we are not working and I’m still staying, I’m working on why I’m choosing similar people to have a relationship with. I have learnt about the Karpman drama triangle.
    I’m trying to stop playing a role in this. I seem to favour playing the Rescuer. This is my relationship pattern. I don’t plan on dating at all once we part ways. I have done a lot of work trying to make this work but I don’t feel it will end up with a happy ending sadly :(

    It’s so good to see the old regulars and their updates !

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