Red Flag or good sign?

Oh honey, this is a red flag of the highest order. Not only is he telling you that he was with someone else, which is bad enough, he’s basically being really passive aggressive. How are you should read this is «I’m not that into you, and if you want to hang out that’s awesome, but I’m gonna keep dating everybody else because I’m not that into you ». When men tell you that they’re dating other people, they Do it because a they are not great guys and because they wanna warn you. This guy is not that into you and he’s never going to be into you. That’s what he’s telling you.

Good night break up with women that they’re not into, and guys are into you don’t ever mention other women because they’re afraid that you might be upset and I want to continue to see them.

Four days is plenty of time for him to know if he sees that there’s a possibility. It would be totally fine if we were dating other people because that happens but people who are wanting to make sure that someone’s going to stick around just don’t mention it until it’s solid. Please please please stay away from this dude. I don’t want you coming back here in a month and saying I don’t know if this guys in the me. Men who want to be your boyfriend act like it early, they don’t put distance (and this is a continent of distance) between you.

I would block

I agree with the others. No man who sees you as girlfriend material is going to tell you he hooked up with another girl after you’ve only been on 4 dates and aren’t exclusive!! And then to throw it out there so you are the one to decide if you want to keep seeing him or not is just weird! Yes it should be “too weird” for you to meet up with him anymore since he’s obviously not into you enough and as you said “Ain’t nobody got time for that.”

You’ve failed to translate into Manspeak. What he really said was:

“Hey, I just want to be honest and tell that I’m a douchetastic low-class opportunist and if that’s too weird for you, I understand, but women regularly fall for fake honesty so I’m going to try running that game on you and see if you’ll be fooled and sleep with me anyway. That would be great, because then I can sleep with other women too but if you complain I can tell you that we aren’t exclusive and I warned you. I don’t care if I’m a walking Petri dish, I’m having fun.”

Are you still confused? I hope not.

Devil’s advocate here but I’m a man and I’m going to present this perspective. The guy sounds like a good guy but has guilt. The 2 of you don’t have a committed relationship so he’s not “cheating” you out of anything.

There’s also context here, has he been a gentleman the whole time you’ve known him? You are (were) into him so I’m guessing he’s a nice guy.

You don’t seem to think he’s bragging about this hook up, like he’s objectifying this other woman. “Hey I banged this chick but don’t worry you’re way hotter than she is.” That would be a red flag.

It sounds like he feels guilty and is trying to be honest with you so you can make a clean decision on whether or not you’d continue pursuing this relationship.

@Warasen. No one is saying he cheated on the OP.

I don’t know any guy with an ounce of sense or decency that would make a statement like that. Douchetastic with a capital DUH.

You sound like you are looking for a reason to classify this as a good thing.

Katy,Did you ask him had he slept with anybody since you guys have been communicating or something?..I find it quite strange that of all the things he could’ve spoken upon that he would even have the audacity to think it’s cool to mention what he does with other women to you..If that’s how he’s coming,then he’s wayyyy to comfortable as if you’re one of his homeboys..If you didnt ask him for this revelation then damn a red flag I think you should lean towards the feeling of being disrespected to the highest degree because that’s lil’ boy bs..You may want to turn the other cheek on this doe doe..

Good for you Katy!!