More than a week of silence, what should I do?

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This topic contains 18 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Lovely 8 years, 3 months ago.

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  • #382007 Reply


    I have this one guy I like and Im pretty sure he likes me too “or at least liked me”. We knew each other for already a month and half and whole this time we were meeting each other “only 2 times bcuz we are both very busy” and texting each other almost whole that month. Now its been more than a week and he didnt text me anything, I dont understand why… Should I text him first? I never tried to act needy so I always let him to finish any conversation we had, only 1 time before I texted him first. Such silence was before for only 4 days but he texted me again. Can anyone please help me? I really like him, but if he takes so long to text me again it looks like he’s loosing interest which I dont want to happen :/ He seemed to be really interested in me, he was romantic and he even tried to appear once at the place where he never goes and where I usually eat lunch just to talk with me again. Help me plz guys, what should I do to get him back? :(

    #382028 Reply


    maybe send him a causual text asking how he is etc. I dont know it seems v strange to j not text you for a week for no reason. maybe hes lost his phone or something. did you two argue or anything. have you already slept with him?

    #382032 Reply


    DO NOT TEXT. Men do what they want, and his silence says, I am not interested in connecting again.

    Sorry, but anything else screams “Hmmmm, I have not heard from you, assure me you are still interested so I can feel better”. If you are both that busy, he may have just decided it was too much work when he has other things going on… You do not know him well enough to have idea what is going on, so best to just think. Bummer, onto the next!

    There is a 0% chance he lost his phone or is hurt. He is most likely just not that interested and you only went out twice and he does not feel he owes it to you to end it.

    #382034 Reply


    yes i agree do not text him that makes sense

    #382035 Reply


    or read the article on here that says ‘ask a guy initiating contact without creeping him out’

    #382037 Reply


    You have been out twice, you did not make time to have it be more than 2ce in what amounts to 6-7 weeks. That is not how you build momentum to start anything. I get that you like him, but starting to initiate is not going to do anything but leave you feeling icky.

    MEN DO WHAT THEY WANT. Read that again. If you are appreciative, receptive, and responsive to him, you do not need to do anything else during the wooing stage. Just simply say yes, when he does something. You do not need to remind your future husband that you are there.

    He is not wooing you. He has disappeared, which feels really bad. There is nothing you can do to make him interested again. Nothing, other than to leave him alone.

    #382038 Reply


    yes that is true. men are selfish and do what they want. so listen to that advise, your the lady and deserves to be pursued

    #382040 Reply


    If it has been a week and he has ALWAYS been the one to initiate conversation. I would send him a casual text. Sometimes guys like to know if we are interested too. It’s not like you have been needy in any way. A casual text is not going to hurt in my own opinion.

    #382043 Reply


    yes that may work because maybe the guy doesnt know you like him maybe

    #382044 Reply


    I am sorry, but never chase a lukewarm man. NO NO NO NO. At 2 dates, this man is not worried if she likes him or not, assuming she has responded enthusiastically on the dates and was thankful for what he provided on the dates – on the date.

    Rule of thumb – you can intiate one text for every 3 he intiates – if and only if, he is actively showing up consistently. They have had two dates in 6 weeks, and he has stopped contacting altogether – that is hardly consistent.

    This is what this looks like. He gets your number. He asks you out within 48 hours. You see him that week. He follows up after the date to plan another one, soon (within 48 hours). He follows up again, to ask you out that next week. He does that again…. You see a pattern. He follows up and leads and is creating momentum. When the momentum stops, you stop.

    I did not say men are selfish. They are not ruled by emotion, they are ruled by logic, and they do what they want. Some are selfish, some are not, just like women.

    #382045 Reply


    If she has not responded the way I suggested, then she needs to learn to do it, because most likely it is too late for this one. Be lavish with appreciation, respond quickly and enthusiastically, and be receptive to whatever he plans….

    #382051 Reply


    hi tallidy you seem to know alot about the way a mans mind works. can i just ask you what I should do about the living arrangement with my fiance. he proposed after 6months and he lives with his nan and i live with my sister. lately ive been spending most my time at his nans place and he said we will go spend few nights at my sisters to break it uo a bit. He said his nan doesnt want a lodger so kinda saying he doesnt want me moving in with him. I have not suggested on moving in though with him and im happy at my sisters anyway. Im just wondering if i should wait for him to suggesst us living together and is it too soon should i wait until im married. also is soending so much time at his a bad thing. it just feels strange that we are engaged but not officially living together

    #382076 Reply


    Hmmm, I hate to hijack another thread, but here are MY thoughts:

    A. 6 months is too soon to move in together.

    B. You should not live a man before you get married unless you know a proposal is coming with date set for marriage. The statistics show that people who live together first have higher rates of divorce because living together and marriage are not the same.

    Yes, you should wait for him to suggest it, but that does not mean you cannot talk about it generally without pushing.

    #382099 Reply


    Can you explain that to me talllady? How are living together and marriage not the same?

    #382101 Reply


    They are not the same. One has a real commitment legally binding, the other does not.

    But realistically, I just would never live with someone who I was not engaged to and a date set. But that is me.

    #382103 Reply


    “I really like him, but if he takes so long to text me again it looks like he’s loosing interest which I dont want to happen”

    Texting him first isn’t going to make him regain interest. He knows where you are and he will contact you if and when he wants to.

    I agree with Talllady on all she wrote.

    Girls too often try to rationalize maybe he doesn’t know I like him, maybe I said something wrong, maybe he’s hurt yada yada yada… they do this cause they can’t stand the silence and they think reaching out to the guy is the right thing to do cause the guy needs probing. Well, guys don’t need probing most the time men know when a girl is into them so when they don’t reach out it is just because they don’t want to for whatever reason. Some men build palaces for their queen so a man can certainly pick up the phone for you :)

    #382105 Reply


    Google – living together and marriage, a ton of info there…

    #382113 Reply


    thanks that helps tallady. yes ill say this in future when he suggests moving in ill say i wouldnt want to move in until a date is set. I dont think six months is too soon though for a proposal it just shows a commitment

    #383281 Reply


    This happened to me as well…After dating a few guys this seem to be a normal behavior for guys…so I said to this one guy I was dating You don’t seem to care to text anymore (kind of jokingly) Hes a very honest and blunt person and he replied that was in the chase he wanted to get me to like him and he needed to win my attention and once he got it he didn’t have to put on the act…like text me good morning, or hows my day going, how did you sleep or I miss you (the common text guys text when you first meet). He said he hated to text actually so he would call instead but less frequently the longer we dated..My take on it is if he doesn’t text you for a week or hours later its because the chase is over and he knows that he has won you. But if hes really interested in you he will show it if he displays signs that hes not go with you gut feeling and move on don’t waste your time you deserve the best…Good luck.

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