Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › Mixed signals.. Did I make a mistake
- This topic has 2 replies and was last updated 3 years, 9 months ago by
MF.
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Molly
Soooo.. Not sure where to start besides me and my guys friends have known each other/been friends for 10 years now.. and yes it’s always been a friends with benefits situation anyway… recently we rekindled our friendship again due to him living next to my best friend (out of all places idk how this happens. I just got out of a relationship a few months ago so I just wanted to have fun.. well that wasn’t good enough for him at first and he wanted more like actually dating and a friendship and after 2 months we decided to give it a try… of course I’m insecure so in the past two weeks he took a pic with a girl on Snapchat (already knowing I’m insecure) so I was like “goodbye” and he was PISSED. Didn’t t call me any names besides crazy. I get it that was really childish of me. Here’s the catch we have hung out with his friends before and he treated me so nice and sweet but this last time I went over there… he was like “f*** relationships” “I’m addicted to p****” and even turned around to me to ask me if “I’ve gotten any p**** lately” so I got up and said I had to leave after not even 30 minutes.. I waited until the next day to say anything even after he text me and asked me what was wrong… well he was pissed yet again that I acted like everything was fine until the next day. I just wanted to collect my thoughts and make sure I was over reacting. I didn’t blow up his phone but I did tell him how I felt.. and the next time he replied my exact text was “ I’m talking to someone else now, sorry I was such a bother to you.” All I got was an “lol okay bye” until a few days later he was texting me saying “ I usually cut it off if your talking to someone else, but idk, I miss your company” and I haven’t text him back. I just don’t know what to do. He’s always treated me with respect until that one night around his friends….
Lane
Weird this is happened out of the blue like that.
Honestly, I think your long-term on and off dynamic with him is not conducive to beginning a healthy authentic loving partnership, or it would have naturally happened years ago.
I would back off, let him cool off, and only engage when he can talk to you respectfully again, as a friend. I would stop engaging with him sexually, set those boundaries, and really try to find a decent guy that you don’t have so much baggage or drama with.
Start with a clean slate with a new guy, and let Mr. F Relationship’s be happily single :o)
MF
Hi Molly it appears there’s a lot of childish behavior going on between the two of you. His comment about relationships could have been a direct jab at you for not wanting to fully date but it was extremely rude and immature.
I think at that point you needed to set him in place and stated you would not tolerate that behavior from him. I also don’t think telling him you were seeing someone else unless that is true, a good way of trying to communicate with him since you added “sorry I was such a bother”. If you really wanted something out of this relationship since you said you just wanted to have fun, your communication needs to be better. It didn’t sound like you were ready to see someone after your breakup and you should not have especially if he wanted something else.
It seems this relationship is already doomed and your better off walking away now. -
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