Home › Forums › The Community Lounge › Make coworker intimidated by me
- This topic has 4 replies and was last updated 6 months, 3 weeks ago by
AngieBaby.
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Becca
Hey all! I have a coworker named Frank. At first he seemed nice but since I started working alongside him, I’ve gotten the sense that he is intimidated by me. Other coworkers have noticed this too. He tries to make me feel small and I think is intimidated mostly by my large personality, work ethic and the ability to be friends with everyone in the office easily. He seems to be always watching me at my desk seeing who is coming to talk to me.
He always makes snide comments and sometimes inappropriate comments. I’ve thought about going to HR but I’ve learned that for some reason this usually blows up in the victims face. What is his deal? This guy is married with kids and I don’t understand why he needs to make me feel smaller or create this air of competition. What do you think? It’s exhausting to work with someone like this.AngieBaby
Start documenting everything – not on your work computer but in a notebook or somewhere else. Note the reactions of others too. And you have to take this to your manager and let him or her handle or take up the chain of command. You shouldn’t try to handle this on your own. He’s creating what’s called a “toxic work environment” and a company can get into a lot of trouble for allowing it.
Becca
Thanks Angie, I do agree but I’m telling you in my industry men get away with everything. I reported a different man for sexual harassment and was just told it was a difference of culture. It’s not normal, I’m worried it will negatively impact my career path here. I’m lost and nervous
Raven
If you are in the US, you can file a complaint with the Equal Opportunity Commission (EEOC). Google it…
AngieBaby
OK Becca. I’m not sure what advice you’re hoping to hear. If you’re in a male dominated industry then you have to find a way to deal with it assuming you like what you’re doing and you want to keep going. I have a friend who stayed in a job for two years despite her boss sexually harassing her and as soon as she could she moved on to another (better) job. If she’d reported it, it would have caused her trouble. I myself tried to crack a heavily male industry for three years and decided it wasn’t worth my time and energy. I have previously negotiated other male dominant industries with no major issues. You only have so many choices: report him, ignore him or find another job. Or get out of the industry. Your choice, entirely up to you.
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