This topic contains 2 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by T from NY 1 week, 6 days ago.
March 26, 2020 at 5:20 pm #788353
Ok I’m 36 and I was in a 4 year relationship that ended badly. I have no kids. My younger sister is engaged. All my cousins are married apart from one.
I’ve been to so many weddings I just feel so lonely.
I’m just sick of people asking me when I’m getting married and have kids. I’m at a stage in my life now that I want to settle down but since my ex didnt want to get married, I had to end it.
I just feel jealous when I see couples with kids and I’m alone. I just want to know, why me feeling alone without kids. Is anyone in the same boat as me? Feeling lonely and frustrated.
I’m at a point where I’ve given up on love and given up on having kids and die without anyone. How do I get through this loneliness?
Thanks guysMarch 26, 2020 at 5:23 pm #788354
I did online dating, nothing. I went to cooking classes, going out with friends and having a good time. Not thinking about finding someone and living my life without a guy. I dated a guy who wasnt ready to commit, all the guys that are interested in me are only interested in sex. I had to turn them down straight away of course. The guys that want these were all from college and work, it’s not like I met them in clubs and bars.March 26, 2020 at 7:16 pm #788356
T from NY
Dear Annisa – I am sorry you are down. What you are feeling is REAL and legitimate. I can almost promise you whatever advice you receive on this thread will not feel great to hear. I know because I’ve been EXACTLY where you are at. Sometimes what we need to hear makes us feel even more panic and sadness … at first.
First of all do not listen to anyone (especially someone already happily partnered up) that you should feel completely happy about being single. Of course relationships are hard – but let’s face it — we are human, desire connection and want to share our lives with someone we love. Science has even proven health benefits to being in a healthy relationship. However! – what a lot of (happily partnered) people will tell you that is true is — you have to let go and stop searching so hard and when you least expect it you’ll find someone.
Do you know why you won’t be expecting it?! Because you’ve stopped seeking and being in action mode to FIND. You get quiet with you, learn to love yourself by adopting a radical self-love program (I read Ask Polly online for years and listened to Ester Hicks online and went to therapy and the gym and found my voice and my boundaries and my confidence when I did my purposeful, serious self love program) and because you get to a place of ACCEPTANCE that you do not have control. The key is to be as happy and healthy a partner you can be to yourself as you will be to someone else. I promise if you do these things (develop more self love and have acceptance) you’ll find a peace beyond compare and it will not hurt so much. Best of luck