Is that normal for a new relationship

You found out from his Instagram that he was married? He never told you?
You rarely talk or text when you’re not together, he claims he’s very busy, and you only see each other on weekends.
Are you sure he’s divorced? Honestly it sounds like he’s a married man having an affair.

Hi Liz,

Yes he is divorced. He and his ex broke up. You are right about if it is a new relationship , he should be excited to text me. Should i bring up what i saw on his Instagram ? Last week i was going to ask him but i don’t know how to initial

You can ask him about the ex but just seems like the top of the iceberg here. What matters here is that you accept this guy as your bf without him acting like one. You have to ask yourself why you settle with so little.
– he asked in a text to be bf/gf but never referred to it in a real convo. Do other people know he has a gf?
– you see him once every weekend which is not a lot
-the part about him interviewing people so he can tell you someting i dont understand at all . But Lets just say you have no clue of what goes on in his life.
– and Yes he forgot to tell you he was married. He could have left out kids as well Or other Marriages.
Stick up for yourself here

Oh I agree Newbie! I think it’s fine that she snooped online. I think that’s totally normal with a new boyfriend. I was assuming that the boyfriend had told her about the ex wife and the divorce, and then she found the Instagram later on when snooping.

If he did not tell her, and she found out from Instagram, I would say that’s an enormous red flag! I don’t actually understand very well what the OP is saying.

OP, did your boyfriend actually tell you and confirm that he is divorced? Or did you get this info from Instagram? Those are two very different scenarios.

Newbie,

I wasn’t snooping around his Instagram, it was showed up when he added me on facebook. He used to use Instagram but not anymore. His friend know he has a gf and he called me his gf too but never give me an affirmation. And I don’t understand either i use his work as an excuse because he is trying to avoid to tell me his past relationship. I don’t think he has a kid because he doesn’t want a kids.

Kelly, I hate to break it to you but this guy is no good.

If he hasn’t told you he was married before and is now divorced, he’s absolutely hiding things from you!

Also, if his Insta is still showing up and you can view it, that means he STILL has Insta. You only don’t have Insta if there is no account to be found or view.

Something tells me this guy is prob just separated from his wife (at best). I’d prob ghost him if it were me.

It’s one thing to date a guy who says he’s currently separated (I wouldn’t but some choose to) and it’s another to not even know that he was ever married and you have a label of gf/bf.

Yuck! This guy is just YUCK!

*with you

Its odd not to mention he was married and he might still be married. How do you even know he was married? Have you just assumed?

He isn’t giving a lot yet wants to be official. An ex was like that with me and within a couple of weeks i was fed up and thinking of dumping him. I mentioned his odd behaviour to a friend and she did some digging and found his wife’s facebook account with a very recent pic of her with my so called bf. He wouldn’t even admit it at the time i found out and confronted him. He just ghosted me only to keep popping up and telling me i was wrong and he’d explain. He hasn’t ever really explained aside from that they are separated but she can’t let go … i call bullsh*t on that.

Anyway, my point is this man isn’t acting like a bf and hasn’t told you about (what you’ve assumed) being married in the past. That is red flag… heck its a tidal wave of red flags!

My advice? Stop being so available. Pull right back and observe what he does because its likely he will make zero effort so then wife or no wife, you know he is a waste of your time

If a man is keeping you a secret, and spending little time with you, then he’s hiding something! A man who is divorced would tell you that, tell you how long they were together and when the ink dried, as that’s a big part of sharing in the ‘getting to know each other’ stage.

The fact he only sees you on weekends, and too busy on the weekdays sounds more like a weekend booty call, than a GF. Those who see a lady as his GF, naturally want to spend LOTS of time with her because they can’t get you off their mind; they NEED to see and be with you at least 2 – 3 days a week, more so if they are really smitten. These men also want to show the woman off and what a great man/mate/partner he would make, which includes bringing her into his world by wanting her to meet his friends,/family/workmates, etc., and be apart of hers by meeting your friends, family, etc.

If there has been no dates, no integration, and no signs that he see’s you as ‘the one’ then its highly possible you may have unwittingly became his mistress? I would get to the bottom of it. Next time you see him, looking him in the eyes and ask him “Are you still married?” Keep looking in his eyes where if they start to dart, he appears to be searching for an answer or trying to deflect it such as “why do you ask?” or “what have heard/seen?” then you know he’s lying. At that point you turn around and walk out the door!