Is it worth giving it a try or giving him a chance?

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This topic contains 2 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Jess 2 months ago.

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  • #940299 Reply


    I’m 42, single and never married. He’s a year older than me. Ended his 2nd divorce 2 years ago. We knew each other via OLD. An overview of him as follows.
    1st marriage – 28yo. Divorced after a few years w/o kids because ex wife had an affair with their mutual friend (a lady & he had no idea that she was a bi).
    2nd marriage – 9 years of marriage with 2 kids. After their 2nd kid, his ex wife totally lost sex drive and always rejected him when he requested for intimate moments. A sexless marriage as described by him and also many other issues. After the 6th year of marriage, he joined Tinder to test his “market value” and knew a lady who don’t mind to have discreet r/s with him. Together for 2 years and broke up because he doesn’t want to hold her back and that time he has not thought of divorce. Took a break for a few months and knew another lady and together for a year and broke off because she don’t really love him. Took a break for a year but within that year, knew another lady and together for 2 months and broke up because cannot really click. That was around end Dec 2021. No partners thereafter as he was building up his business. Connected with him and we hit off really well from the start and conversations flow very smoothly. The main concern is, he’s kind of broke and in debts left by his 2nd ex wife. Their matrimonial apartment is still hanging around and not yet sold. Wife won custody of 2 kids and did not request a single cent from as he was broke. He was a freelance photographer back then. Majority of my friends are very worried for me and told me to keep away from a guy with 2 marriages. I hate to judge people this way but I’m at a lost now. Please advise. Thanks..

    #940300 Reply


    Less concerned that he had two marriages and more concerned that his second one was full of affairs and it wasn’t clear she knew about them or was okay with it. She may have lost her sex drive for him BECAUSE he checked out of the relationship after she had the second kid, who knows. Not sure how it helps you to date a broke guy who hasn’t indicated that he’s done any work to learn how to have a healthy relationship after those two divorces? Plus other 1-2 year relationships that all didn’t work, too… You’re not judging him for believing him when he tells you who he is.

    #940302 Reply


    I told him that his life is kind of messed up with r/s and the worst was he cheated his ex wife by having an affair out of marriage and he mentioned he didn’t thought of divorce because kids are still young. But it was totallly wrong to even venture out to so called “test his market value”. I’m thinking since he can be unfaithful while in a marriage, he can also repeat the same cycle if one day should I not be able to kind of satisfy him. Duhh.. I know what I should do now. My mind is clear now. Many thanks Maddie.

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