Is he interested?


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  • #823695 Reply
    velo.junkie

    I met a guy on Bumble and he moved quickly to give his phone number. We began texting and he called a number of times but seemed to always have an excuse for why he couldn’t meet me (going out of town, busy the weekend after, etc). I eventually suggested we meet during the week since we live about six miles from each other, and he said that was a great idea and that he’d be in touch. He texted a few days later and suggested meeting that Friday, and I accepted. Since he’s new to my area, I picked where to meet, a nice park where we sat by water and enjoyed some wine and eventually made out. The evening was fantastic and we were together over four hours. He texted that night saying he enjoyed himself and then again the following morning.

    Later that evening he texted saying he was missing my company. He asked to stop by my house the next day after he spent time with his family. I agreed, although was reluctant to have him over since I don’t really now him. We hung out, talked, and made out a little. He stayed a few hours and then went home. He did not try to have sex.

    Our third day was two days ago (one week after our first date), which he initiated by text asking if I wanted to go out on his motorcycle. I accepted. He said he would pick me up between 6:30 and 7:00 but texted from working saying he was running late. He said he was hungry and that I should find a place for dinner and wine. It felt a little odd that he wanted me to find somewhere but I did. He was only 15 minutes late picking me up. At dinner he seemed nervous and tense but we had great conversation. After dinner, which he paid for, we rode back home and back to my house for wine, talking, and a little making out. He texted yesterday morning thanking me for a great evening. I replied and thanked him for his generosity and taking me out on his motorcycle and said I hope we can do it again. I haven’t heard from him since.

    I noticed he recently created a profile on Tinder, within the last fews days, in conjunction with Bumble. Does is sound like he’s not interested? The ball is in his court but I’m wondering at what point I can consider he’s not interested. Now? Tomorrow? A week? I’m very attracted to him so just looking for feedback. Thanks!

    #823699 Reply
    Ss

    It doesn’t seem that he is if the profiles are recently set up I’d say he maybe isn’t feeling it so is looking somewhere else. But how on earth do you know when he set up these profiles?

    Look, at the stage you are with dating your role is to be open is you are interested but to give zero f*cks. You don’t chase, you don’t give him head space, you assess what you think of him. So step back and chill. If he has lost interest thats not a reflection on you. Its just how dating goes- we date and we see if we click with someone.

    #823700 Reply
    velo.junkie

    Thanks SS. When we matched on Bumble four weeks ago he told me he was new to online dating. I’ve been on Tinder for some time and just saw his profile come up yesterday in the stack but it wasn’t there previously. That’s how I know he recently created a Tinder profile.

    #823702 Reply
    Tallspicy

    Girl, calm down. Over the next 6-12 weeks you will see his level of interest. Only contact him first if he is being very consistent. And do not sleep with him without it being exclusive. Not sexually exclusive. Exclusive exclusive. And it is time to ask him generally what he is looking for from dating and assuming you want a relationship, anything less than I am open to the real deal should be ended. And you be honest. I am looking for the real deal and getting off the site.

    #823727 Reply
    velo.junkie

    Thank you, Tallspicy. I just want someone to love me; it’s all I’ve ever wanted but it’s elusive and seems unattainable. Losing faith the real deal is something I can have., but I’m trying.

    #823728 Reply
    Anon

    He’s getting to know you like you are him. He’s asking you out on dates not looking for sex only. Those are good things. However, if either of you are not attracted to each other, no matter how nice the date was, or how nice each of you were to each other- that doesn’t mean there’s a spark. He might be seeing what’s out there by joining Tinder- who knows.

    Looking at your last response, all I can say is the person that needs to love you is you. It sounds cliche, but I’ll tell you if you do the hard work of putting yourself first, you will realize you will not accept bad behavior or anything less than the real deal of mutual love and respect.

    #823766 Reply
    Tallspicy

    Girl, you should not be dating if you just want someone to love you. You need to be at least working on loving you because no one can fill that void for you. And men can feel the desperation. The reason romantic love feels elusive is because your self love is elusive. You would not be able to healthfully accept the love if you cannot give it to yourself.

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