Initiating Texts

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This topic contains 5 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Maggie 3 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #788332 Reply


    Hello everyone,

    I just wanted a little advice. I started talking to a guy online about 1 and a half-2 weeks ago. Right before this corona virus made it impossible to meet. Once we started texting he initiated contact the first two days. Our convo ended each night. After those 2 days, I initiated contact by sharing a funny article that he would like. He responded very quickly and asked if I wanted to talk on the phone since we couldn’t meet yet. We talked on the phone for about an hour and a half. He said we would talk again tomorrow. I promised to send him a picture about something that we had discussed. I sent it the next afternoon and he responded right away. We had a convo and then it ended that night. The next day he texted me and we talked pretty much the whole day on and off. He had mentioned on the phone to let him know if I wanted to chat again. So once our convo was over for the day, I said let me know if you want to talk on the phone again sometime this week. He said sure and that he would talk to me tomorrow. The next day by nighttime I hadn’t heard from him so I sent a casual text. I wasn’t sure if he had wanted me to contact him b/c of the wording of his text. He responded right away again and then asked if I wanted to talk on the phone, we talked for like 3 and a half hours and he said that he would talk to me tomorrow. The next day, I didn’t hear from him so I sent him a text that didn’t require a reply. We had stayed up late talking so I just said something funny about that. He responded quickly and we had a convo. He seemed interested and asked questions. He even responded to things that didn’t require a reply. But our convo ended when we went to sleep.

    He does initiate conversations some days and when I do, he seems happy to hear from me. He is engaged in the convo, asks questions, and wants to talk on the phone. But I guess I’m worried about why he doesn’t start convos more often. It does seem like he is not too into texting. The convos on the phone are amazing – better than the texts. But I guess I just can’t tell if he’s interested and wanted to get another perspective. I don’t want to continue to waste my time or annoy him if he doesn’t want to talk to me. I’d really appreciate hearing everyone’s thoughts! Thank you….

    #788333 Reply


    You talked a lot on the phone in a short period of time. If i were you i would chill and just go with the flow. Stop sending him something just to trigger a response. And dont be so eager to talk to him for hours. Stop at one hour and say you have to do this or that. No one can tell you how he feels. I would say his interest in calling you is a good sign but the two of you have never met and you dont even know if he has asked if Corona wasnt here. Dont invest feelings in a guy you have never met. Talking is fine but limit it

    #788334 Reply


    How much communication do you expect from a stranger? You never met him, you wont be able to meet him for quite some time. Pull back the expectations and the reaching out for now and just go with the flow like Newbie suggested. Dont make the mistake to get overly invested and just take it easy instead.

    #788352 Reply

    T from NY

    He’s been so great and communicative with you during this time. That’s great! No need to speak or text every single day! Focus on you. Allow a little mystery.

    Always remember – it’s women that want to know every tiny thing about a man! All his hopes and dreams and favorite ice cream flavors and all their lovely thoughts. Men on the other hand – want to WIN something. They want to FEEL something. This happens with allowing space! For a fire to burn hot it needs air. And a woman will never know a man’s true interest unless she lets the man lead.

    Step back. Busy yourself on you. Let this man come to you or fade away. The guy for you will make it clear.

    #788355 Reply


    True! I’ll try to take a step back and see if he initiated the next convo. I have no problem reaching out again but I also don’t want to bother or annoy him. The phone call wasn’t supposed to be that long, we just lost track of time. Thank you!

    #788573 Reply


    I’m so wishy washy with online dating right now. I feel like there’s no point—I don’t want to develop a text/phone conversation that will make me feel like I know someone whom I’ve never met. I don’t want to invest time in someone whom I don’t know if I’ll like in person or not. I’m stressed about how this pandemic is affecting my life, etc etc etc. My point being, you have no idea what’s going on with him right now. So don’t get invested at this point. Please listen to this advice. So many times I wish I had heard this advice before I made mistakes. Step back for a few days, talk to other guys, talk to your family and friends, dance, workout, create something, journal, read, i.e. focus on YOU. Relax and stay present with your life. You’ll have to wait a while to see if this connection could go anywhere anyway. Best of luck and stay safe!

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