Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › I'm so scared my boyfriend is going to break up with me
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Khadija
I’m so glad to hear that this turned out well for you!!
My only suggestion is not to do anything you don’t feel comfortable doing.
If, you’ve done certain things sexually in the past it does not give the green light that you must do that again upon request. Remember this is your body.redcurleysue
It all depends on what you want or not.
Some women like it and others don’t. If you don’t like it refuse and tell him you do not like it. If you also want it then go for it.
Do not do it because of the past….the past is over over over. Stick with the present and the future. Sooooo…what do you want?
EricaJ
To answer RedCurlySue: I think it’s not so much whether I like it it or not. I mean I’ve done it before with guys . Sometimes OK, most times nothing special but the guy really wanted to if that makes sense. So I’ve sort of been there, done that and don’t much care for it cause it reminds me of when I wasn’t who I am now with my new man if that makes sense. Although I know that with my guy now it would not be a power trip or anything like it was for the drunk guy.
So even though I want to be more traditional sex wise with my man now, I also don’t want him to dwell on the fact that drunk guy “got ther”e so why not him and all that stuff. Does any of this make sense?
Rika
Hi Erica,
I’ve been reading your post and while I’m happy that you and your man have made up, I do somewhat feel as though you were manipulated into having sex before you were ready. In my eyes, before this incident happened you were waiting to have sex until you felt it was the right time. But, after this incident occurred, and the dust settled, you had sex with him. I hope you understand what I’m saying. You did not have to have sex with him to assuage the situation.
My suspicions arrise even more to the fact that your bf just can’t seem to let go what you did with drunk guy. Especially to ask you to do what you did with drunk guy with him, just to have the satisfaction that he’s had you in the same way as drunk guy has? Think about it, if your bf didn’t know the exact details of what you and drunk guy did in bed, he would probably never think to ask you for the EXACT same sexual favor.
Idk…something about your bf receiving sex leading directly after this situation has settled seems manipulative.
Gwen
Rika,
I was thinking the exact same thing when I read that. It all seems slightly manipulative and a tad shady that he was finally able to have sex and already wants to try back door entry just because drunk guy did. It seems like he is being competitive now and wants to make sure he has as much (if not more) than the other guy experienced.
Erica, please be on guard. I know how much you want things to work and sometimes we put our blinders on. I hope he genuinely cares about you and it doesn’t turn into a FWB situation.
F U drunk guy for causing trouble!
Xyz
I’m with Rika on this one.
First of all he was pouty and immature. You don’t owe any man an explanation about what you do with another man. He wasn’t your bf at the time.. So him pushing on this is a huge red flag to me. He used it against you to manipulate you.
Second, for him to ask that you do anal this weekend because you did it with someone else? Really? That’s insulting. You admitted being easy and not prudent with drunk man, so now he is using it against you to have you act the same with him?
I hope things work out for you, but this is way too much drama for such a new relationship and his words do not match his actions. If he cared for you the way he does he wouldn’t use this information about drunk man to get you to give him exactly the same things..it feels off and slimey to me.
redcurleysue
Honey, do not do this because you do not want this man to be left out so to speak.
That is not a reason.
I would tell this guy the truth. You have tried this and do not want to continue to do it period. That is the truth. Be honest and up front.
If he should bring up your past then you just tell him you do NOT like that kind of sex and do not want to do it ever again.
If he cannot accept that then he is not the “one”. I can tell you that there are millions on happy marriages and relationships without this kind of sex. A man does not need this…it is a request but not a necessity.
Options2
I said it on sept 1st. I am saying again.
Love does not come this way. I suggest you too take a break. Both need to start this relationship from the start.
Sex can wait. You need to look for dignity. Sex demand did not come from a good place.
If you too really want this relationship – it can start in a month or two again
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