I reached out to my friend about my depression…


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This topic contains 3 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Eva 1 week, 1 day ago.

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  • #864618 Reply

    Louise

    Hi all,

    This post is about a friend I reached out to about my mental health. So I’ve been suffering from depression since 2020 just when lockdown started. I felt alone and the only friend I could talk to was only a phone call away.

    I told her everything and every time I told her I didn’t want to hang out, she would get pissy with me because I’m making excuses not to see her knowing I suffer from depression. It’s not that I didn’t want to hang out with her, it’s just that sometimes my depression would prevent me from socialising. She told me that if I didn’t come out of my room then she couldn’t help me cos she can’t help people who couldn’t help themselves. Whenever I cried she would be helpful and sit with me, but then talk about how my depression is affecting her life since I’m dragging her down with me. All I did was reach out to her about my mental health. It’s not that I talk about my depression all the time, but as soon as I open up about mental helath, she tells me that everyone’s got problems, no one wants to hear them. She told me that she never talks about her problems to me so why should she hear my problems?

    She talks about me behind my back to my so-called friends and jokes about my mental health either behind me or in front of me, then laughs.

    Am I overreacting and should I not complain about how I’m feeling?

    #864636 Reply

    Raven

    Maybe you can find a counselor?

    #864640 Reply

    mama

    Not all friends make good therapists. I think it’s time for you to get some professional help and have someone help you in a more constructive and supportive manner.

    #864667 Reply

    Eva

    She’s not a real friend, not so much for not understanding (people who never had an episode can really have problems imagining it), but because she’s making you mental struggles public. It is only up to you to share that with the world.
    That being said, you shouldn’t place the weight of helping you deal with depression primarily on your friends. They are not educated/trained how to deal with it, you need a proper therapist. Also get your physical health checked. If you are on a pill, talk to your gynecologist, it might actually be a side effect
    The thing with depression is that you have to try to tweak your thinking from “what do I feel like doing” to “how will I feel afterwards”. I know it’s really hard, you basically have to ignore how you feel now in hope that something you don’t feel like doing will have a payoff later. Depending on the severity of you episode that might be too hard to

    But by far the smartest advice anyone here can give you is to get professional help

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