This topic contains 11 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Paige 2 weeks, 5 days ago.
January 27, 2020 at 2:37 pm #783777
Sorry for this long post.
My OH & I split up 6 days ago – don’t really know who split up with who. I walked out the door upset & said I can’t keep waiting, after he said he doesn’t know what he wants. We both struggle with mental health an have been having increased problems lately, aswell as me trying to deal with the fact he cheated early on in our relationship.
Only a week before our split, I hadn’t seen him for 2 days & he was all over me when I next saw him, saying how much he’d missed me, etc. The day before splitting, he’d said that he doesn’t want another guy having me. When we broke up he said he loves me but is sick of the arguing.
Later that evening I took our relationship status off FB but left him as a friend as it’s pretty final. Several hours later he then unfriended me on there. He then left it a whole day & deleted the one photo of us he had on there & then blocked me. A friend has looked and he still has the photo of us showing as an old profile pic. Why didn’t he delete that too?
After this, I tried saving myself the hurt & deleted him from the rest of my social media. Today I found he has now blocked me on Insta too but also refollowed the girls he was messaging inappropriately whilst we were together & started liking their photos again.
He hasn’t blocked my number/WhatsApp which I don’t understand.. he has everything else so why leave that open?
I don’t understand – why can he go back to these girls so quickly? Who he has no actual connection with.. Yet the girl he supposedly loves & wanted to settle down in life with, he doesn’t come back to?
He’s also back on a site to meet locals for sex.
I know no one can answer fully as they aren’t him but please, especially guys, can you shed some light on this an try to answer my questions? I feel so hurt & angry. It’s been 6 days & it’s like I’m gone already, as though I never meant anything to him.
I’m here hurting terribly, wishing it was all ok & we were still together but he seems to be getting on with his life just fine. How can he be over me so quickly already?January 27, 2020 at 2:58 pm #783779
I doubt that He is over you…
He’s looking for sex- Be glad you left this guy in your dust.January 27, 2020 at 3:02 pm #783781
That’s funny. He doesn’t want to see you with another guy yet has no problems what so ever getting on top of other women or flirting with them. He probably treats them better than he treats you too, having no cares or consideration for how you feel about it.
He can probably hide his emotions better than you can. He is escaping from dealing with the heartache, talking to other women who think he is a total dream by his looks, charm, personality, and when they get to know him
he delivers a nightmare.
Or maybe he is just a narcissistic sociopath and that’s why he can easily get over it.
It’s all about power and control. Doesn’t want to see you with another man. Whatever. That was no longer any of his darn business the day he decided another woman was more attractive and slept with her.
Why would you want to keep a guy like him?
In a perfect world, it would work out. Everything would be ok. He would stop being so selfish, he would come to you apologizing, prove himself that he really does want ONLY you, and treat you right.
…we don’t live in a perfect world do we?January 27, 2020 at 3:03 pm #783782
Sounds like he is really hurt and trying t cushion the below by chasing down other women.
Some people will go through great lengths to avoid feeling hurt and alone.
In any case it sounds like the relationship was falling apart and had major issues.
I know it hurts but, focus on healing.January 27, 2020 at 3:03 pm #783783
He broke your trust in him DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK!January 27, 2020 at 3:04 pm #783784
If he gets away with it once he will do it again!January 27, 2020 at 4:16 pm #783790
I find it weird (even in this forum sometimes) that deleting from social media is so common and suggested. Healthy relationships don’t work this way – yes, sometimes the outcome hurts, but deleting somone from social media is kind of childish behaviour. If you can’t communicate openly and need to storm out to make your point clear or delete another person from social media (unless he is total jerk or harassor), the realationship and communication between two people is not healthy anyway. And even if the relationship won’t work out for some reason, there is always possibility to remain friends after time passes and people respect each other.
About deleting – I have done it few times also, but only because it really hurt me to see that other person in front of my eyes daily. If the person was worth it, didn’t play and relationship didn’t work out for whatever reasons and I still feel that the person is worth to keep n my life, I have added them back after I got over my emotionality and feelings and can have a normal communication with them (without a relationship).
But if the person won’t step up and try to solve the problem and instead dives into finding sex with randoms and liking other women’s pictures world, it is childish and unhealthy and why would you want to be with a person like that anyway?
Personally if a man is deleting me from social media, it is really turn off for me – it’s kind of emotional schoolgirl behaviour. Even if I understand that women are emotional and do stuff like this (although it’s weird and overly dramatical too, I have to admit), for man to do it is much more weird.January 27, 2020 at 6:23 pm #783801
Both of you are too much into social media to have an adult relationship.January 27, 2020 at 9:38 pm #783808
Where to begin:
1.He told you he doesn’t know what he wants(read:I don’t want anything serious with you!)
2. He has mental health issues
3. He was inappropriately messaging girls while with you?!
4. he is BACK on the hook up site?- What a catch! He was on there previously too!?
What else do you need to finally block his ass and move on???January 28, 2020 at 12:06 am #783809
Anon,If his way of showing love or his way of getting over you is to see other women then he truly doesn’t care about your feelings..If hes cheated before then all hes doing is taking you places you’ve already been instead of showing you something different..It seems like hes really tired & not just tired of arguing but tired of the relationship as a whole..If he didnt want to see you with anybody else then he would give you the same respect..Life is to precious for these childish ass men & the bs they bring..Cut him off & save yourself..January 28, 2020 at 1:21 am #783815
u guys have brpken off. so why shld you now try to analyse his actions post breakup? its good that he has blocked you at all social media platforms so you cant see what hes upto now. that’s good. you should remind urslf that you guys broke off for a reason and its best that you focus on self and the moving on process instead of obsessing and stalking his social media movements through friends. we all have difrnt ways to cope up with breakups! his means having casual flings and dating other women. let it go and focus on moving on.January 28, 2020 at 11:04 am #783833
When I divorced my first husband, I had already been f*cking around with several guys for almost a year.
Although I told him that I wanted out because I didn’t want us to get to the point that we hated each other – that I wanted to leave while we still had some affection for each other – I was over it before the papers were filed.
I gave him that line to try to spare his feelings as much as I could.
It’s not hard to do that when you don’t give a sh*t about the other person.
I’d be willing to bet that this is exactly how your former boyfriend feels about you, regardless of what he says. I was not a very nice or mature person at 21 and it sounds like he’s a male version of how I was.