His guy is acting weird or is it just me?

I’m sorry you’re going through this. But remember we as women only have relationships we allow into our lives. People show you who they are. Look up the definition for the words – Tepid and Flake.

I think that’s this guy

It’s not abnormal, but it is inconsistent. Inconsistency in early dating, and beyond, is a big red flag. If words don’t match actions, listen to whichever is the negative one, and keep dating other people. A good guy who is relationship material won’t leave you confused and guessing.

He is just a guy you’ve been chit chatting with, and are now seeing he’s “all talk, and no action.” You have no clue if he’s “nice” or “genuine” because you’ve never got the opportunity to see how he acts, or behaves, in real life. For all you know he could be a 600 lb alcoholic sitting behind the screen (aka “catfish”), and why he’s not taking you out, because what he’s been telling you, and who he really is, could be two different people/personalities.

Your job, as a woman, is to carefully LISTEN, WATCH, and OBSERVE a man, in real life, to see if he’s trying to woo you over, which a man does by showing you what a great BF he would make, IF you chose him over the other men you are getting to know too.

Look up “e-tethering” as this is the worst position a woman can put herself in because trust me, 10-1 he’s doing it with other woman too! If he’s not stepping up in a big way, you step out!

To answer your question– it’s not abnormal, but it’s not desirable behavior. I too would be frustrated if a guy I had just started dating was constantly suggesting things to do, then never following through. When a guy starts dating you he should want to make a positive impression on you. This means coming up with things to do that interest you both and hopefully bring you both together.

Maybe this guy is just a bit lazy. He might otherwise be a nice person, but if he’s frustrating you, he’s not the one for you. Dating is about finding a person who’s a good fit for you. You will come across plenty of guys who are nice enough, but don’t quite make the cut, for whatever reason. It sounds like this guy might fall into that category. I think it’s fine to give it a couple more weeks, but if you keep feeling frustrated with him, it’s a sign you should move on.

Hi Chloe,
This does kind of suck. The most direct way to deal with it, rather than wasting your time to see if he improves is to tell him. Tell him, “you know, I was hoping we could do more things together, going out, doing the stuff you said you liked cause I’m not very happy just chatting, I can do that with any of my regular friends”.. Most men continue what they are doing until they hear otherwise. Hope that helps.

Can I please get some feedback on these 2 situations that happened recently.

One time he messaged me and ask how’s my day and I told him that I haven’t been feeling well, got a really bad headache. He then said oh I have a bad headache too. Then I said, “oh, hope you feel better, try and get some rest”. Then he just reply with yeah I will probably nap. I got a bit upset because it didn’t seem like he was concern about me. Am I overthinking?

Another time when we were video calling, we talked about doing activities and I told him I would like to do them since I haven’t done them since high school.
He said “didn’t your ex bf take you anywhere?”. I was a bit shocked and didn’t know what to say.
I just said “I don’t know why you bring up my ex, it shouldn’t matter”, “Don’t bring up my ex up next time cause it just bring back bad memories for me”.
Then he said “you’re a bit sensitive ain’t you”.
I got a bit annoyed and said “you’re being insensitive”.
Then he said “I’m just tired, I’m only functioning on 50% brain capacity right now, sorry if I’m a bit insensitive”.
I can sense a bit of sarcastic from him but I let it be. Am I being too sensitive about his comment?

I like the guy but sometimes certain things he say does make me upset. But I’m not sure if it’s me who is being too sensitive about this or is it him.

liz what you said is soo bang on. i had met a guy abt 2 years back. well placed in life, single and pretty good looking. initially it was ok but after a bit the things he did and say just annoyed the heck out of me. small things but i noticed. he would just ask or say thing which seemed pretty obvious. once he asked something and i just snapped and said are you like 16? u cant ask me that! he got so pissed and just blocked me. i wasn’t that shocked nor hurt or upset. he just connected yesterday after a long gap. he said he suffered a bad bout of covid and was in icu. while he was in icu, he thought over all the people he might have hurt in the past. so he got in touch now to apologise. he did ask me if i was still single or seeing someone. i just gave him some vague answer cause i dint think i owed him an answer.

It’s definitely better to approach dating by focusing on the positives than the negatives. But don’t let fear of not meeting others (scarcity mentality) make you ignore the negatives if there are actual incompatibilities just because you wish to be in a relationship with someone. People aren’t perfect, but how they communicate and approach the relationship shouldn’t fundamentally annoy you. Maybe you’re being a little picky, but that doesn’t mean he’s the right guy for you. It doesn’t sound like this is working, so listen to your gut that it’s not right for you. You don’t need strangers to tell you that.

marie thats what even i try to do. there is this guy i met online. initially due to lockdwn i understood that meeting reg was not possible. but despite things easing up now, its still the same. he says things but never follows it up. some time back he said many things. i told him hey all these things sound gud on paper but till i see things on ground level its all talk. but it was still the same. so i just stopped bothering. and its still the same. every morning i get a gud morning message. lol. do not bother unless he makes an effort.