Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › He’s married, what do I do
- This topic has 59 replies and was last updated 4 years, 8 months ago by
Rox.
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Kelly
Hey @Rox… if that’s the sum total of what you’ve taken away from all the good advice you were give, if you’re going to get defensive instead of saying thanks for the help and ignoring the people who were rude or drew incorrect conclusions, go somewhere else.
Yes we really think you were wiling to take on that kind of baggage and drama because you didn’t immediately cut him off and you had to ask for advice here.
tammy
doesn’t make sense picking on the OP when shes clearly said that she has decided she wont engage again with a liar.
Newbie
I totally agree with roz her assessment on the rude way advice was given to her by some responders and then you expect her to come on here and say thanks? She wasnt rude. It even got to the point where people stated she was after his money lol. Crazy
But roz, ignore the mean spirited posts and remember thats no a reflection of you but their minds and souls. And it aint prettyTT
I’m with Tammie and Newbie. I wouldn’t be thanking anyone for some of the comments aimed at OP. Sometimes we have to be faced with something before we realise what we will or will not tolerate and it seems this is what happened with Rox. She may have been defending him and unsure what to do but ultimately she did take the advice and made the right decision. Good luck to you Rox.
Newbie
Of course i would advice to walk away, but its always easy from an outsider perspective. Its the page 3 comments that are weird. Rox gets accused of not listening, wanting his money, looking for excuses, being rude and not happy about the feedback and will probably continue. While she stated early on she wasnt engaging with him anymore.
But give the girl a break. She thought she maybe find a good guy and he did all the gentleman things and suddenly turned out married with kids. Of course we all know thats bad news but if it happens to you you need to process it. At least i would. So in this case she needed 8 days to know for sure she didnt want this kind of lies and drama. Thats not a weird timeline at all and also doesnt mean she wasnt listening.
But if you see posting a question as the equivalent of drama you will always be rightMonique
@Rox, yes there certainly is such a thing as being too invested after 6 weeks. Your judgment was clouded if you found out he was married with children after he said he wasn’t and had to think twice about what to do, much less talk to your mother, friends and post here about it. Not trying to be mean to you.
Rox
I’m not mad at anyone other than the person who lied to me.
There were accusations such as “she will do what she wants” because he has something I want. He has nothing I want.
I said in my earlier posts that I hadn’t been engaging with him but still got comments bashing me because I hadn’t blocked him. I never acted as though I knew it all from the start, I’m just stating that I don’t need that kind of baggage or drama in my life. That just reflects what I said earlier about picking pieces of the story to suit yourselves.
If you read my first post the only thing I knew at that point was that they were ‘separated’ that’s why I didn’t know what to do. I only found out the rest of the details such as no plans for divorce later on. As Newbie said, it took me a couple of days to process everything.
Anyway thank you for the well wishes, I just want to put all of this behind me now.
Sally
I dated a guy I met online for about the same time, 6 weeks or so, when I found out very accidentally that he was living with his girlfriend and she was on an extended business trip. This guy went online and put up a profile presenting himself as single! I found out from someone who knew him, who was a friend of a friend. I checked it out behind his back and found out it was true from more than one source. I was almost physically sick to my stomach when I confirmed it. The next time I was at his house I snooped around a little – nothing terrible, just opened a couple of closets – and sure enough, all her clothes and things were there when he said she had moved out.
I confronted him and at first he lied but then he broke down and admitted it. But went on and claimed he was going to break up with her when she got home and all this other crap.
I was so stunned I went home without saying anything. After a few days I emailed and told him he was giant liar and to never contact me again. He kept at me until I blocked.
A year later I peeked at his social media just out of curiosity. They’d gotten married. LOL
Rox
What a scumbag. I had a handful of dates last year with a guy and later found out he’d been in a relationship for 7 years and was engaged to be married.
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