Home › Forums › How To Get My Ex Back › He texted me he misses me a week after dumping me
- This topic has 7 replies and was last updated 10 months, 1 week ago by
Kim.
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Jessy
We have only been together for 3 months but it was magical, honestly in a lot of ways a dream come true for both of us. I have pushed him away a lot due to my past trauma and fear of commitment, which has caused him a lot of stress since it felt like he didn’t get stability from me. Even though i am completely crazy about him.
He broke up with me because it caused him too much stress. I begged to give me another chance for a few days cause i was so upset. He said he doesn’t see a future with me and his feelings are gone.
I decided to give him space, not contact him and focus on myself. A few days later he messages me saying sorry for how everything went down (because it was very unexpected for me) and that he hopes I’m okay and he really misses me. I havent replied to it solely because i have no idea what to say.
What’s my best move here? On the one hand i want to give him space to miss me and deal with his own life (he’s moving) but on the one hand i want to show him maybe that i don’t just change my mind every other day about him (which is what he initially thought) and that i do still very much love him?Note: we are both in our thirties
mama
Dont reply to him. Leave him alone.
Breakups are hard and both parties have low moments. He may be reaching out to soothe his loneliness or make himself feel better by trying to make sure you are okay. Who knows.
You sound like you have some things to work on inside yourself — use this time on your own to get some help for your trauma. It’s not fair to other people to drag them through your issues. If you really care about him, respect him by taking care of yourself and your trauma and leave him be until you are in a healthier place. Good luck dear friend.
zoe
You do not reply
He did what he did to you and let him feel it
And you move on.
Find someone else then he will definitely feel he made a mistakeAngieBaby
I would just say – thanks for your concern, this is of course hard on both of us. It would be best if we took some time completely away from each other. If you’d like to ping me in 4 weeks maybe we can communicate then.
That way, you’ve left the door open in case he really has had a genuine change of heart. If he has, then he will be able to come forward and say that. But if this was just a guilt or loneliness text – and it’s likely that it was – you cut him off from sending more of those and getting sucked back into a situationship with him that doesn’t meet your needs.
But honestly, the hotter they burn in the first 90 days, the more likely it is it isn’t for real and they disappear at 90-120 days.
And you really need to go and deal with those anxieties that impacted the relationship in the first place. If you were to try again, something needs to change or it won’t work, same as last time.
I would also gently suggest that it takes longer than a couple of months to develop a genuine love and genuine lasting connection.
Mary
” I have pushed him away a lot due to my past trauma and fear of commitment, which has caused him a lot of stress since it felt like he didn’t get stability from me.”
Your next move is to work on yourself. Seek healing and therapy. You’ll become your better version and be more secure and serene. You’ll attract partners you feel confident with and there will be no need to beg for anything.
@zoe, I hope you’ll get over whatever happened to you.
As mama said, Good luck dear friend :)
tammy
Mary i agree with both Mama and Angie. but like Angie said you can send that text cause that keeps the door slightly open. And if its genuine from his side and he really misses you, he will get in touch post the lay off period. either way whether he gets in touch or not, you need the time to focus on and sort your your own issues. so that in future you can have healthy relationships. another thing. just send the message to him and do not get involved in a long dialogue with him. you really do need to take this time off to sort your own issues as well as gauge the depth of his feelings for you.
Mary
Tammy is right. But I hope Jessy won’t expect specific reactions from him, and get disappointed afterwards. You need to work on your self esteem, and put your well being first. No need to keep the door open. If he is a fit for you, be confident life will make it happen.
Your happiness comes first. You can’t expect people to make you feel good. He said he does not see a future with you. I say you are your own future and it starts with feeling better now.
Kim
Wow this post is so timely Im just experiencing it right now.
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This reply was modified 10 months, 1 week ago by ANM Staff.
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This reply was modified 10 months, 1 week ago by
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