He said he was confused about his feelings but willing to give it a try…

Ok,

Before I go on explaining this situation I should let you all know that this is going to be a LOOOONG introduction. So I am just apologising beforehand :)

I’ve been dating a man since July (roughly 2-3 months). We kicked it off pretty well initially. Same places in life (we’re both single parents and know “that” life), we both are looking for something serious, similar interests, and have great chemistry. However, we were intimate early on, and I feel as though it started to overshadow the “building a connection-getting to know each other bit”.

We would go on lovely dates, he introduced me to a friend or two (he met two of mine as well), and he would woo me or try to connect with me in other ways. Since Corona limited the activities we could do in our city, we would explore the town, watching sunsets at the beach, he would cook these lavish meals (he’s a food nerd and has cooking as a passionate hobby of his), etc. But after every date it would wind up as a sleep over. I’m comfortable in my sexuality, and don’t mind physical intimacy. But I can overthink situations sometimes and instead of voicing my concerns, the introverted part of myself retreats into myself and prepares me for the worst. I eventually started closing myself off in a way (being stuck in my head contemplating what we were doing) and he picked up on that and drew into himself as well.

I asked him at the end of August during one of our dates if he was interested in seeing each other more (during the weeks he didn’t have his kids) as I liked him and was keen on seeing where this would go. He agreed, but later on that evening sent me a text stating that he had thought a lot about what I had said earlier. That he sees it that I want to invest more in us, but that he isn’t sure if it will be an “us”. That while he’s thinks that I’m beautiful and have a lot of great qualities, he noticed unfortunately that those times we do actually see each other that we don’t really “ talk/communicate”.

I explained how I closed up a bit due to not really knowing what we were doing. And not knowing what his intentions were. As much as I do enjoy our physical dynamic, having a FWB connection wasn’t my sole intention when we met each other. He stated he went into it wanting something long term and not just casual. Then there was a bit of back and forth with what I/he wanted.

Told him that I wasn’t interested in having a fwb relationship at this point in my life. That even though it’s nice to have found my “match” in a sexual sense, I feel that it got in the way of us getting to know each other. But that if he is open to it, we could perhaps meet each other and just talk to see if there is a spark there. As he made me giggle (a joke between us) and open up before we started humping like rabbits. But if he isn’t, I understand and wish him well.

He had agreed, said that he wants to be able to “giggle” as well, and to meet up and see what happens.

The next following weeks however were difficult with trying to coordinate a day to meet. As autumn approached, things were getting rather busy on both our ends. He’s a single father of two, so balancing that life with taking on a plethora of different projects for work (he is a freelancing animator/designer for films and commercials)was rather difficult for him. He told me earlier on (before the hiccup) that he had gotten some pretty lucrative offers and projects from a number of well-known film companies, and while he was excited to be taking them on, he was worried about being stressed and not having that much time to the things he enjoys.

On my end, things weren’t that stress free either. Balancing the single mom of one life, working full-time, and now returning to Uni full time. It is difficult getting used to these new routines but they are starting to let up a bit. So there had been a couple of weeks of trying to coordinate a date but he would be swamped with work or have his children, and it would be likewise for me. He apologised and admitted that it has been one thing after another these last few weeks, but set up a dinner date for us a week ago.

We met and it felt like it did initially. Lots of chemistry, there was alot of indirect flirting back and forth (he would keep staring at me and smiling). But we agreed to keep the focus on us talking, and the flow was nice. Just how it was for us in the beginning. After a couple of hours of exploring the city we wound up going back to his place for coffee. Sat on his terrace for a number of hours and just talked…after a moment he reached over to hold me. We kissed. One thing led to the other and we wound up sleeping together.

A couple of days later we touched base and I wound up inviting him out for a film that evening. It had been something we had both been wanting to see…but he couldn’t then (was meeting up his friend for a couple of beers — that I had met before) but that he was free the following evening and that he was looking forward to it.

Unfortunately the following morning, he sent me a text cancelling stating “that he realised that he really needed an evening to recharge his batteries as he was having a stressful meeting for work the day after.”

I just replied with “No worries. Enjoy the rest of your day. Hope that the meeting goes well tomorrow”.

That was on Thursday… and I haven’t really heard anything back from him since. Should I just cut my losses and take it as he wasn’t interested in the first place or had a change of heart after his evening with his friend. Or be open to the possibility that he was/is in fact overwhelmed with work?

He’s usually on his IG often (if its not posting stories and the like), but I noticed that this past week he hasn’t posted anything. But he is watching my stories, but hasn’t reached out. What gives?