This topic contains 11 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Lane 3 weeks, 3 days ago.
October 22, 2019 at 3:13 am #775935
Hey guys! I’m in a long distance relationship. But something has been bugging me lately.
My boyfriend and I have been officially dating since June and he has never posted a picture of us. He doesn’t hide our photos, but he likes them and rarely comments on the ones I post. I’m concerned that maybe he wants to appear single on social media or has someone on the side where he lives. I don’t have concrete evidence of this— and tend to overthink. I am scared to ask him because I don’t want to appear needy or annoying.
However, why isn’t he proud of me?
We are both in the entertainment industry and I notice that women tweet him sometimes. Nothing too much, but I notice. He’s generally clueless so he doesn’t flirt but it does bother me that he gives it any attention.
What do I do? Is there any way to get him to post me on his own? I think it’s important that people know. I know social media isn’t everything, but it does set boundaries.
Jenny.October 22, 2019 at 10:21 am #775946
Maybe that’s just the way he is ? Some people don’t like to share their private lives .
Unless there is a clear discrepancy (like if he’s the kind of guy who tends to put pictures up of everyone including friends family etc etc ) I wouldn’t read much into it , especially this early on in a relationship , if everything else has been going well.October 22, 2019 at 12:21 pm #775959
You’ve only been exclusive for not even four months so I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Some people are more private than others and don’t feel the need to share their lives with the world (of social media). If another chunk of sufficient time goes by and he continues to do this then maybe ask him about it but for now you don’t want to come off as being controlling or needy..:)October 22, 2019 at 1:09 pm #775960
Does he post pictures of any other women? Look in his history and is this normal behavior for him or is he different with you? If he has a history of posting pictures of his past relationships but not of you then that’s a problem.October 22, 2019 at 2:11 pm #775963
I looked into his past. He hasn’t posted with a woman since 2016– but he did post a lot with her and another previous women.
Is the issue me? I don’t really understand. He seems so proud of me! It’s just not on his Facebook. I mean how will other women know?
Especially being long distance it just doesn’t sit well with me.October 22, 2019 at 5:03 pm #775970
No!!! It’s not you! And there’s nothing wrong with him either .
Some people are just this way. Maybe he didn’t post pictures of the last girl until well into the relationship.
You guys are new . Don’t have these ridiculous expectations .
When I date a guy, even if I’m totally in love I never post pictures . People are not all the sameOctober 22, 2019 at 5:30 pm #775971
He’s breaking away from an established pattern, that’s disturbing. I’m sorry to bring this up but since you are long distance have you considered you might not be his primary romantic interest?October 22, 2019 at 6:15 pm #775973
Has he been single since posting with the woman in 2016? If not, and he’s not been posting of other girlfriends there isn’t an issue. Do you visit him where he lives ? Do his family know about you?
If the answer is yes to both these then I’d chill a little. People often feel differently about social media postings these days than they did a couple of years back, feelings change about wanting to plaster all over it. When you tag him on fb with a pic of you together does it show on his page?October 22, 2019 at 7:42 pm #775989
I completely agree with Vera here. There are too many valid reasons for him to not upload a picture on Facebook. I’m the perfect example of a very private guy who talks about a gf with people, makes her meet people I know, yet don’t update statuses or profile pictures to reflect when I’m taken/single. Barely active on Facebook anyway.
Even if he did it in 2016 with some other girl. Maybe that was the time he cared to upload pictures of himself and others.
The bottom line is, if you want your LDR to have a strong chance you’ll need to trust him and build transparency. Meaning, if this is not something you can make your peace with you’ll have to ask him casually (don’t accuse or demand) before you drive yourself nuts.October 22, 2019 at 9:33 pm #775997
Vera and Anderson,
He did have one girlfriend before me whom he never posted with either. I don’t think there is anyone else, I mean his coworkers know about me.
I’ve met his family several times and live closer to them than he does. They had me over for dinner last week by myself. And I’m set to meet more family of his in a few days. All good signs. But still, my gut is warning me that possibly there is someone else closer I just don’t know who.
I’ve been cheated on twice before so I just get very nervous of that. It traumatized me.October 22, 2019 at 10:57 pm #776004
I agree that you shouldn’t worry. I’m sorry about your past, but it’s a new man and a new relationship now. Just to add to what others were saying – I’v been in a relationship for 3 years now and still haven’t updated my relationship status on fb, nor posted a single photo of us together.October 23, 2019 at 9:44 am #776027
Wow, the dating field sure has changed pre-internet. This wouldn’t even be a blip on my screen as I’ve been with my SO for almost three years and he rarely posts us just as he rarely posts when spending time with friends and family and lets them mainly do it lol.
This where TIME comes in. You are way too new and he may not be ready to engage in that level of posting with you yet, which is perfectly normal at such an early stage in your courtship. I primarily post when my beau and I are together, as we are LDR too, but that’s because I rarely have anything fun or interesting to post as I work too much running my business so I don’t have the time to do things like I used to do when working a regular 40 hours salaried Mon – Fri job v. the 50 – 90 hours, 5 to 7 days, I put in over the past 4.5 years.
His lack of posting us on FB has absolutely nothing to do with our relationship or how he feels about me. I know he loves me, he tells me every day, and shows me in many ways when we are together or apart so I don’t need some stupid social media posting to tell or prove me otherwise. Don’t worry about it, leave it be, and if or when he feels ready to do so, he will do so naturally. Until then stop finding reasons to feel insecure. Unless he stops communicating (fades out) or finds ways (excuses) not to spend time with you, only then do you have something to worry about!