This topic contains 9 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Addison 6 days, 18 hours ago.
September 13, 2020 at 2:06 pm #812728
I need a bias opinion on this situation. I don’t know if im wrong, or overreacting. I just got news that my dad has cancer, so I’m not on the best place emotionally, so I don’t want my current emotions to interfere in my judgement with this.
Situation is the following: Long distance relationship. We’ve been dating for about 3 years, last 8 months long distance. so pretty stable/serious.
We are both F1 fans, so we were watching F! together today. We were texting constantly about the race and what was happening during the race, as we always do. There was a big crash so we were commenting on the crash and how the cars are amazing and keeping the drivers safe etc. All of a sudden I got this text from him: “whatever you want ;) you are yummy”
So obviously i was like wtf.
So i texted back “huh?” and asked who was that for.
He took a minute to “correct” his text and sent me
“whatever the result ;) you are right”.
That triggered a few alarms inside me cause 1. Even if the corrected text was intended, didn’t make any sense to the current conversation. And secondly thats a lot of “wrong” words. Not an autocorrect situation or a misspelled word.
Like how did whatever you want turned into whatever the result, and you are yummy into you are right. And the winky face wouldn’t make sense in the corrected sentence. It felt to me like it was completely off. …And he only uses the word yummy in a sexual way.
Anyways, I then went on to tell him that it doesn’t make sense and kept asking who that was for. He then sent me screen shots of his sms and whatsapp. But to be honest, I was like, well that doesn’t proof anything, you could’ve just deleted the conversation.
All in all, I kept trying to explain how that was dodgy and I found it hard to believe that was an honest mistake, and he got very defensive and upset about the whole thing. And now stopped talking to me.
Also, is to say that it also triggered alarms on me cause he has history of sexting with girls. Like right at the beginning of our relationship, before we were 100% committed, he was still talking and sexting girls… So it kinda took me back to that a bit. And makes me wonder… He’s also very protective of his phone. But I thought maybe thats just cause some people are very private… But all of a sudden makes me wonder if that’s it…
Again, im not in a great place emotionally right now and thats why i want an outsiders bias opinion. I cant tell if im overreacting or not trusting him on this for no reason.
Would appreciate any advise.
xSeptember 13, 2020 at 2:41 pm #812733
Sorry Lola, you already know the answer…
Your BF is a Turd.September 13, 2020 at 2:47 pm #812734
The fact he wrote yummy is all you need to know. Unfortunately I think it was an inappropriate text to a woman he was making plans with and has been intimate with. I would now ignore him.September 13, 2020 at 3:15 pm #812737
Given that he has a history of sexting would definitely make me think that text was not meant for you. Unfortunately with texts it is very difficult to prove and easy to misinterpret. You say your long distance for 8 months, will you be in the same place soon? I personally do not believe long distance relationships are easy to maintain, I need to be able to spend time with my SO IRL. So unless there is an end date shorter than 6 months to me a LD relationship is very difficult and people can seek companionship elsewhere. They get bored…
In your situation I would explain to him that it is obvious that message was not part of your conversation and it has made you feel very uneasy. Take a break from speaking to him and focus on your family not on him.September 14, 2020 at 1:57 am #812789
Exactly what I though.
You’d think you can trust someone you love…So disappointing.
Gonna gather up some strength and do the right thing.
Have a great start of the week.September 14, 2020 at 5:35 pm #812868
T from NY
So sorry you’re going through this health scare with your dad and now this ridiculousness with this guy. I definitely think he was sexting someone. If it wasn’t for the winky face I would say maybe maybe something went awry. But there’s just no way. If it looks like a duck…. etc etc
And I know it’s little comfort, but I also went through similar shenanigans with someone I cared about just after my sister passed away. I couldn’t believe I had to deal with that while grieving. But then someone pointed out – that was exactly the time to find out what people really are, so I wouldn’t have to waste my energy on people who didn’t deserve and I could focus all my strength on myself. You deserve love and care. Tend to you. Kick him to the curb.September 15, 2020 at 7:22 am #812943
hope your dad gets better. and his journey on the road to recovery is smooth. all the best to your dad.
your bf is definitely sexting another girl for sure. this could be simple sexting or more that i wouldn’t know. but hes definitely picked up his old habits and is flirting and sexting other girls. that’s 100% sure. think you need to think over this. are you comfy with your bf sexting with other women? if not than you need to cut this off and move on in life. he has shown that he will never change. just let go and move on.
focus now on family. they need you. let this one go.September 16, 2020 at 4:33 am #813094
Thanks for the messages, it really helps reading your opinions and best wishes for my dad.
We’ve exchanged a few words since the incident, and I explained to him, emotions aside, why this looks like a 100% indication that he’s sexting/flirting with other girls. Just trying to see if he’ll open up and either prove me wrong or be honest with me… But he’s still 100% denying it, and thinks it’s unfair I’m looking at things just from my side and and keeps saying he won’t admit to something he didn’t do.
I don’t think there’s anything more I can do. He’s not proving my assumption wrong and he’s also not opening up. Can’t force it out of him so I’m just going to leave him alone and step away…September 16, 2020 at 11:10 am #813125
i have few times texted the wrong person and landed in a couple of tricky situations. hence i said am fairly sure he was sexting anthr woman. yeah best thing right now for you would be to step back and think over it. after few weeks probably you will have a better perspective and get an idea of what you shld do and how to proceed. but i guess deep down you already know.September 16, 2020 at 11:18 am #813127
OP, guys lie when being confronted about cheating – they always lie. ever see that grey’s anatomy episode (episode was called remember when? or whatever, was a fake flashback) when meredith accuses alex of cheating with april and he denies it IMMEDIATELY, without even blinking? (he was absolutely cheating)
that’s what they do. they know you have no evidence, so that’s what they do…
it’s not ok. very important saying here: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
It’s tough to hear, but I would let him go permanently. If he comes back it’ll be bc he’s bored – doesn’t mean he’s changed, if that happens i’d still ignore.
know your worth! if you build up your self-esteem and realize you should only give men who are worthy of YOU a second’s thought, these pathetic boy behaviors will cease, I promise you.
best of luck,