This topic contains 4 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Shikera Georges 7 months, 3 weeks ago.
July 12, 2020 at 2:44 pm #796143
Me and my boyfriend of just under a year have been having minor arguements about us probably in the last month or so. When the lockdown happened it was hard and we barely saw each other. I think everyone was finding it difficult and it was difficult not being able to see each other with no end in sight. He was slightly down about the many things he had planned which couldn’t go ahead and maybe that was were things began to change. He felt more distant and I guess I panicked and tried to make sure we was ok. In the process I guess I actually pushed him away and as the weeks past we begin to argue about why he doesn’t seem to want to see me so much or just seems more distant then usual. We probably didn’t communicate well and now it’s all just in a mess.
I should point out before this – everything was great. I know we haven’t been together for years, but we had plans for the future and was excited whenever we had time together.
Fast forward to this week and after another silly bicker he said he can’t do this anymore because he doesn’t want to hurt me. He then said that his feelings have changed and he doesn’t see me in his future anymore. When we spoke the day after we both cried and he seems as upset as I am, but he is absolutely sticking with the decision that we can’t work or get back to how we used to be. He just keeps saying his feelings changed and he doesn’t want to see me hurt and maybe we’re not compatible anymore.
I’ve tried to speak to him, and although he acknowledges how good we were before he just won’t even consider us trying again once we’ve taken some space.
He says he is hurting too, but just seems so negative about whether we could have a future again. I’m giving him some space (because I guess I’ve pushed him away further by trying To talk to him the last few days.)
he said we will talk some more soon.
I guess I’ve realised at this point there’s no point trying to change his mind because he has to make that decision for himself or else it would never work. But is it really the end for us, or do you think he might get some perspective once he takes some space? Has anyone had an ex that says it was over for food but then he had a change of heart 😔July 12, 2020 at 4:59 pm #796157
Honey. No no no no. He no longer wants you, please believe him and stop trying to convince him otherwise. When someone dumps you, you walk away forever or try one time at very very most. Stop dragging him into conversations. He is not being negative, he is ending the relationship and making it clear there is no hope. This actually makes him a decent man.
You need to go full no contact and believe him when he says it is over. We have no idea, but relationships that are on and off are usually bad. If he tries to talk to you, tell him nicely you need a clean break and wish him well.
He has showed you he is weak under stress. Please make a list of the things that bothered you about him.July 12, 2020 at 7:39 pm #796166
I totally agree with Tallspicy. Make it a clean break. No doubt there is someone else in your future with whom you will be more compatible. Now is the time to have a special relationship with yourself.July 14, 2020 at 10:54 am #796343
Laura, I know it hurts right now and I’m sorry you are in pain. I agree with the previous posters. The first thing you should do is stop all contact with him. Give him the space to be able to process things and to really feel the consequences of the break-up and not having you in his life. Continuing to contact him will made the moving-on process easier for him and harder for you. Do things that you enjoy, call friends and family, and remove items that remind you of him. Figure out what your role was in the break-up so you can avoid the same thing from happening in a future relationship. Once you have stopped hurting, you may discover that he actually gave you a gift by leaving.
In my experience the person who broke up usually does reach out, perhaps after about a month or so. At that point you may find you don’t want a relationship with him after all.
Hugs!July 14, 2020 at 11:50 am #796347
My boyfriend and me where together 6 yrs and he left me this is 3mths an 1 week he left and we have 2 kids together he said he left because i always accusing him of other woman which i do but i had reason to sometimes and in the past i had reasons to but now he looks like he is not interested anymore i really want my relationship back