Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Girlfriend lied about ex from past should I break up with her
- This topic has 17 replies and was last updated 4 years, 4 months ago by
Anderson.
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Johnson
We been together 4 years. She moved to a new address 2 years ago. Today we went to her old building for a dinner they were having. We also went to see one of her female friends in the building while we were there.
It’s gonna be a lot to type but I’m try to summarize it. In the first two years of our relationship she had a friend who was a older man that she used to “borrow” money from her. She said at one point she owed him so much he said you owe me a 100 dollars. She said she paid him back. This was when she was with her ex. She said he was the main cause of her borrowing so much money from him
She did introduce to him when she was living in the building. He just gave me a hug. Gives me and her both a hug when he sees us. A real weirdo
Anyway fast forward to today we seen him the older dude and he hugged her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. The way he grabbed her face bothered me. He never did that before. She was pushing him off her. I was pissed off almost said something to him about it. Before we left she told him I’m with my boyfriend and don’t touch me or do that again. He said “sorry but long time no see” he then gave me a hug and asked how I’m doing.
We left and we got into a argument about what he did. To make a long story short she said they did do something way before we met. She claims he only performed oral on her. She said they never did anything else. She said she didn’t tell me at first or when I asked in the beginning because me and her wasn’t that serious plus she was embarrassed because of how weird he looks.
He has a mental health problem and he looks like he’s in his 60’s maybe late 50’s. It now makes me wonder if something happened with him and her while we was together. She doesn’t live in that building anymore though. Her new address is nowhere near there. It still makes me wonder if anything happened with them in the first 2 years of our relationship
She claims it happened way before me and her met. She said she just wanted to be honest with me and that’s why she told me. She swears it didn’t happen when we were together.
Should I break up with her over this for waiting so long to tell me even though she says it happens before me. What should I do. We both 34
Johnson
He wasn’t really an ex but a guy she used to mess or as she say he only performed oral sex on her before we met
Raven
You’re kidding right?
Shoshannah
You want to break up with a girlfriend of 4 years because someone kissed her on a cheek?
Johnson
Did y’all read the whole thing? Another thing he grabbed her face and kissed her on the cheek but kinda close to her lips. She said something to him about it before we left but I’m still upset about it plus I wonder if they ever messed around while me and her was together
Raven
Please grow up…
Sophia
I think there’s a typo in your post. Obviously you meant to say you’re 14.
Johnson
What kinda answer is that? Did you guys actually read the whole thing? Did you miss the part where I said he used to perform oral sex on her
Raven
Yes, we read the whole thing…
Johnson
No advice or answer on if you think they messed around while we was together. She did borrow money a few times from him early in our relationship, before she moved out of that building
sneakerhead
Clearly she’s not going to tell you if anything went on… You could ask him but who’s to say he’ll tell the truth?
Kelly
Still trying to figure out if this is a joke or not. If anything she should be the one dumping you. Please grow up and act your age.
Ames
That whole story is really weird and doesn’t really make any sense…at all. Your girlfriend borrowed money from a creepy older man and hooked up with him? That is disgusting. No offense. I don’t understand this extremely bizarre scenario.
Better off single
I’m with you. I’d have a problem with it too. Is it something to break up over? It’s in the past. She did confess to messing around with him to make herself feel better hoping it will fix things and it didn’t. Is she still borrowing money? How often does she hang out with this other guy?
Maybe he gave money for favors or to have some kind of control over her because he is a weirdo and can’t find real love so he manipulates naive women or tries to buy love. Something like a Sugar daddy and you’re not getting the whole story.
Dangerouse
You are demanding she tell dirty details about something years ago. You will destroy your relationship with your nagging and harassing her.
erika
She had no need to tell you anything about her past yet she still did. now you want to break up w her because you feel insecure? grow up
Kalyn
Unless something she did prior to your relationship affects you now in some real way, it’s none of your business. It’s her prerogative to share (or not share) details of past relationships. She told you what happened between then, and she didn’t have to, so she trusts you with the information. Don’t prove her wrong by breaking up with her over something so silly.
As for him grabbing her face, SHE told him to knock it off, so your argument is not with her on that. He probably has the hots for her but that isn’t HER fault unless she is encouraging it and from everything you’ve written, she isn’t. It would be ridiculous to be angry with your girlfriend or become insecure because another man thinks she’s hot…take it as a compliment and an indication that you have good taste. She is with you, right? Did she mess around with him at the beginning of your relationship? Maybe, maybe not and you may never know but you have to let that go and trust that her behavior does not suggest anything more than a minor friendship.
Anderson
Your displeasure is understandable. I was in a similar scenario at 22 with a nonserious but exclusive gf. We’d hang out in her balcony often. And at night when visibility was poor, even had sex. One day she spilled in conversation that she hooked up with a guy opposite her balcony, but things ended with him when she found out he was cheating on her. I felt a little weird/sick knowing that she may have been hanging out in the balcony with me all this time for show and I was being used. And we had an argument too, but turned out she had sincere intentions and it was just an awkward situation for her to share this with me.
I too was annoyed why she didnt tell me sooner. But honestly very very very few women have the courage as well as the tact to be forthcoming about a topics like this. So you should cut her some slack. Plus she did share the details when the topic was relevant. Before that there was not much reason/opportunity to.
So I dont think this is worth breaking up over. Unless you don’t trust her word that she didnt do anything with him while you two were together.
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