Ghosted by a guy that said he wants to marry me? Was it my fault?

Raven: I did but he didn’t answer .. but he still has my number saved on WhatsApp :(

Raven: No I didn’t but I don’t think he would of answered if he wasn’t replying to my texts .. I don’t want to come off as needy because I’ve already apologised and he chose to ignore it .. but I need him to talk :(

Nothing whatsoever Raven :(

Raven: but I had text him and he chose to ignore me? Is it not safe to say I don’t think he wants to speak to me anymore

@Karen ans @Raven….You don’t need to leave a message on voicemail. When you call someone, your name and number appears on the screen until it gets deleted. My boyfriend and I never leave any messages on voicemail but when I see he called and I missed his call, I call him back. He does the same with me and everyone else. We leave a message only in emergency but then a text message does the same.

No message, no return call…

At this point, the ball is in his court. You already tried to reach out to him (even if you didn’t leave a voicemail, he doesn’t sound stupid. Plus you already sent him texts that are still unanswered).

You’re in a needy mindset believing that he’s better than you and that he’s the prize. Please stop. You have your own value and by acting the way you are, he believes that you’re low value.
Do your own things. Stop waiting after him. It’s simple: if he wants to talk to you, he will talk to you. If he wants to call you, he will call you. Let him be the man. You’re chasing him (away).

If I were you, I’d wait one more week MAXIMUM and then, if he still hasn’t reached out, I would go back on dating apps and find someone else. Life’s too short to waste it on someone who doesn’t make you a priority in his life (please read here ‘a’ priority and not ‘the’ priority). Okay I get it he’s a business, but if surgeons and presidents can make time for their SO, yours has no excuse.

Mirror his actions: be silent. But don’t wait next to your phone: do other things.

I agree to give it another week, then call.

If he doesn’t answer I’d leave a message along the lines of “You haven’t responded to any of my attempts to reach you. This is my last effort. If I don’t hear back in X days I’ll let our families know this relationship is over due to three weeks of silence and will move on with my life. I hope to hear from you to talk things over but if that doesn’t happen I wish you all the best.”

Walk if he doesn’t respond.

BTW – I agree with Raven. No message gets no response from me. I assume it was an accidental butt dial because otherwise a message would be left on the phone.

When we were talking I’d never text him first I’d always wait for him because I knew he was busy and knew he’d speak to me when he had the time.

I think I’m just going to draw a line under this I don’t think he’s going to come back now being it two weeks with no contact .. gutted ain’t the word :(

Promised to marry me, been together for 2yrs though it’s long distance relationship. He came to the country a week ago and after meeting we both went silent on each other. I was expecting him to call but he don’t after a week I called,text but only response was that he went for a quiet short holiday to kill pressure,he asked me to bear with him for a while . He had a major issue at home and was to deal with it. Should I really keep waiting or should I move on

Irene,

Don’t assume anything as of yet that’s the worst you can do it, I’d give it a week and see if things go back to how they were if not just ask him if he’s okay and if he needs someone to talk to .. but do not and I repeat DO NOT assume he could genuinely be going through some sh*t.

What a douche.

He thought that’s what he wanted. As I said, he probably had pressure from his family to settle down and get married. Men don’t like to be told what to do in these areas. He probably felt like it wasn’t his idea anymore and maybe realized that he didn’t want an arranged marriage. Maybe at first he was really interested and felt like he was in control of the situation, but later found out that he didn’t anymore when both of your families got involved.

Be glad he left now. No matter what his reasons are, there’s more to life. I believe that you’ll end up finding the right one for you and you’ll be glad you didn’t settle for someone who doesn’t value you. Keep on looking on the dating app (and elsewhere) and delete this loser. Just because he’s a successful businessman doesn’t mean he would have been a good husband. Money isn’t everything. Maybe you would have been good financially, but you would have been with someone who wasn’t there for you when you needed him. Life isn’t easy. If his way of handling stress is to run away, then you don’t need him. Let him go and be the ghost he’s good at. Ghosting you was a weak move. And it only tells about him. Not you.

Learn to let go even when it’s painful and learn to believe that what’s meant to be will be. I do believe that something and someone better is waiting for you. As long as you’re dwelling on this one, you won’t find your person. Your person will be more than happy to marry you and won’t run away from you. Know that.