Ghosted and blocked and I need advice

wait, did you even see this man once in-person? if not, i’d like to congratulate you as you clearly have an easy life if something so trivial hurts you. count your blessings that you dont have real life problems to worry about like death, finances, and break ups of actual real adult relationships.

I don’t think online dating is for you. It’s a game and you take everything seriously and hang on to everything as written in stone.

I suggest — if you are religious (which you mention in your post) — maybe try your church or local places of other folks that align in your thinking and behavior.

If you want to continue online dating, you are going to have to understand and steel yourself with the fact that many people are disingenuous. Many connections won’t pan out.

I’m kind of wondering if this post is even real.

jess we are all entitled to our feelings but as adults we need to learn how to control our reactions to them. its like if someone is devastated every time they buy a lottery ticket and dont win millions, then maybe they shouldnt get play the lottery. similarly, if you cant reign your feelings in when dating maybe you shouldnt date until you can?

jess, im not a therapist so unfortunately i cant give you advice on how to reign in your feelings, but there should be a way for you or any adult for that matter to logically understand that until a stranger consistently shows you through actions NOT words what their intentions are to have 0 expectations from them no matter how pretty the words are. only in lala land can you actually expect decency from someone you barely know. in the real world no one besides maybe your family and close friends owe you anything. so if you fall for pretty words and allow that to disappoint you or upset you then its on you no the other person. hitting a string of red lights or sitting in traffic is annoying but shouldnt ruin your mood. this is at this level if not less. and if you are feeling more towards this interaction then you need to perhaps sit with a professional to understand why something so trivial is making you feel so deeply.

Keepitreal – I do appreciate your advice and ofcourse I do agree. Unfortunately for me, I’m someone who cares too deeply. It’s just my nature and I cannot change that. I never want to hurt anyone so I’m always cautious. Hahaha I don’t need professional help just wanted to ask for advice. I do thank you though for it!

Liz Lemon – yes I agree I would never want to marry someone like that. What I’m trying to get at is it’s unfortunate that people give someone who they know is being genuine false hope. There was a time where I thought I should leave him on read, I really wish I had done that. And yes I was skeptical for sure. He had said he was in a 8 yr relationship. And had broken up with her and hasn’t been in a relationship in a couple yrs. I did say in my post that I found out he’s now in a relationship. Maybe he got back with his ex. He had deleted his profile 2 weeks after we talked. So I thought he was being serious. My fault ofcourse. I obviously have not seen him again on that app so who knows.

I do wonder, since I’m curious. Why do you think he didn’t block me on telegram and re added my number a month and a half later, even though on WhatsApp I’m still blocked. Is it a control thing? Or to mock me

Maddie, yeah I guess you’re right. We did have the sexual convo on the phone. Now I’m thinking what if this whole time he was already in a relationship with someone else or was just waiting for that person and wanted to just mess around and I was the one who came in the way. I’ve learned from this ofcourse. It’s just unfortunate that I had hope that this was going to be it. Only for it to be completely not be that. It hurts more because of that feeling that I wasn’t even worth letting know that we can be friends instead of being romantic. Since we had clicked or so I thought. Anyways it’s whatever and I know better now.

GIRLYgirl – yeah unfortunately I do like him. I only asked him that because I wanted to know where I stood. Then on our last call he said he really liked me. So I was like okay all is fine. Thing is my guy didn’t give me a bad feeling until that week he ignored me. That’s when I was like wait, everything was fine. What is happening and why. I guess I might come off a bit needy with the last few messages, but in no way had I thought he would block me. I guess I made a mistake with that. I shouldn’t have lowered my standards. He misunderstood when I said religious. We cleared and he said yeah you aren’t too religious and said he was in the middle. So I was like that’s fine with me. Yeah I guess he didn’t really like me because if he actually did all this time he would try to reach out someway, but obvs he hasn’t.

Ren – yes he said he was 30. I’m a couple years younger. Didn’t want to disclose my age on here. My issue that he never asked my for my pics or anything like that. He wouldn’t hit me up at night. He would take time to respond, but he was that way from the start. So I didn’t think much of it. Ofcourse at this point there is really nothing I can do. I’m just expressing the fact that it’s upsetting to me that he said he wanted nothing more than for me to be happy and that he wanted to visit me. Only for him the next week to just ignore and block. Yeah I agree, I learned not to trust easily.

Oops, read up on attachment types.

Tallspicy – thank you I agree, and will check on those. Appreciate the advice.

Everything Tallspicy said 💯 For you or anyone who finds themselves in a similar situation.