This topic contains 7 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Max 2 months, 4 weeks ago.
December 3, 2020 at 10:47 am #828731
I am a man and I need advice. What should I do if I „begged and pleaded“ after no contact? I Dated a Girl for 3 months, everything was Perfect and she told me that she wanted it to work with me so bad, we Were a Perfect Match and it was clear that we’ll be in a relationship any day. Out of nowhere she Changed her behaviour, we didn’t text for a few days and she told me (one week after everything was fine, we enjoyed it, had sex etc) she „Broke up“ with Me, because she don’t think that she has feelings for me. And that she don’t know if she is ready for a relationship because of an old toxic relationship Last year. I wrote her a (accountability) letter, she responded after 3 weeks in a positive way. But she told me that she isnt sure if i am the guy she wants or Sees in her future. I told her that I want to give her Time and space but also want someone who is 100% sure about me. Then she said that was the Reason why she „broke up“ because its unfair if she is only 90% into it, even if she enjoyed the time. I replied that I don’t see any chance in changing her View. I told her that maybe Asking for 100% in our Situation ist too much and asked her out one last time. That was today Morning. She didn’t reply yet. I didn‘t want to beg or plead her, but my emotions were to much. I want her so bad.
Is it over forever? I know that she is the Perfect Match for Me, I just think that she Needs more time to see that again.December 3, 2020 at 11:49 am #828736
Sadly, this has hit a dead end.
This is actually very common where you catch feelings and then those feelings dissipate for reasons you can’t always put a finger on, you just know they “aren’t the one.”
Its happened to me countless times, where I really liked the guy and it initially looked promising but I just couldn’t fall “in love” with him in the way *I* needed to fall in love in order to keep going. In this circumstance, there was nothing he could say or do to change my mind because you can’t create, make or force someone to feel something that isn’t there—no differently than you can force yourself to feel great when you’re in pain, or feel pain when you feel great, to put it in context for you.
I’ve even tried again when they pleaded but I still couldn’t get there and I just ended up breaking up with them again. I know you think she’s the one because you’re in a highly emotional state and all those feel good hormones are flooding your brain but those hormones eventually fade and when they do, oftentimes this is when you start seeing all their flaws and oftentimes turn out to not be good long-term partners for you.
I know its hard right but in TIME you will eventually meet “the one” who thinks your the one too :o)December 3, 2020 at 12:21 pm #828742
There is no way to know for sure after 3 months if someone is a perfect match for you. No one is perfect, I think you are romanticizing things way too much. Don’t beg and plead, it sounds desperate.
Let it go. If she wants you, then you need to give her space to make that choice on her own. Distract yourself healthy things that are good for your own well-being and peace of mind.December 3, 2020 at 1:31 pm #828753
Either she has unrealistic expectations of a relationship ( 90% good is amazing ) or she just is not into you the way you are with her..anyway, it is over. Stop contacting her or you will become a crazy “stalker” type.December 3, 2020 at 3:28 pm #828772
What are some things that made this girl the perfect match for you?December 6, 2020 at 6:42 am #829201
She replied and told me that she thinks its over for her, because she realised that she doesn’t want anything at the Moment. I know that that means „not with you“… but it Hurts.
Do you guys think that it could work in a few months/years? If I want it at this Time.
Well, I know her since the 5th grade and Had contact over Text for a few years (even both of us had other „Partners“). So it hurts much more now because I liked her for a longer Time now and After getting to know her better even more.
Some reasons why she is „a perfect match“ for me are her behaviour (we‘re acting very similar), her goals and Wishes Are Equal to mine, We like the Same things/Interests/etc., she is very independent, our Sex Life was great as well.
I know that I don’t Love her, that would be Crazy. But I really like her and I realized that a relationship / LIFE with her could be Awesome. Its a shame that it seems like I am not the one for her…December 6, 2020 at 11:33 pm #829367
Max there are no crystal balls to foresee the future so the best and only thing you can do now is to accept its over and begin the process of moving forward not knowing where the future will take you.
When I’ve been in these situations I cut contact and moved on never expecting to be with them again. They were the ones who came back to me when they were ready. Married one of them (lasted over 20 years) and now in a four+ year relationship with my current partner but it might not have the same ending for you. Only time will provide the answer when or if it wants to reveal it to you—it may or it may not.December 7, 2020 at 5:26 am #829433
Think you Lane,
I would love to have something similar in the Future.. coming back together (FOR REAL together) in a few years. I guess You’re Right, I should move on and let the Universe do its thing.