From high interest to not reaching out.. Did I mess it up?

Home Forums Dating and Sex Advice From high interest to not reaching out.. Did I mess it up?

This topic contains 6 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Liz Lemon 1 month ago.

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  • #795596 Reply


    Hello everyone, I hope to hear your advice on this situation I’m in.
    So I’ve been seeing this guy for 2 months now, I started off skeptical about the relationship but we kept on dating and I started liking him. He was always so secure, always initiating texts, always planning dates so it was good to be with someone this great (my last relationship was so toxic). The only bad thing is that he is leaving the city soon and I told him I don’t do long distance. But things kept going good either way.
    Anyway, we were supposed to go out on Saturday and he actually messed up the plans (he thought it’s on Sunday) so I got a little pissed but he kept messaging me and saying sorry. Things went good, we went out on Sunday.
    He walked me home and when he reached his home he sent me a good night text.
    I haven’t replied on the evening but the next day I sent him a good morning text and wishing him a good day.
    He hasn’t reached out since. I know its barely 1 day but he usually texts every evening and yesterday he didnt.
    I’m confused, I thought everything went great so I’m not sure if he is trying to ghost me or he is waiting for me to text? I never text first so this is a pattern we are in. I don’t want to seem desperate by texting him first just because he didn’t text me.
    Do you think I should reach out and see if it’s alright or should I just ignore him and let him fade? I’m very confused..

    #795611 Reply


    Unreasonable to expect daily texts from a man not your boyfriend. If you are this invested emotionally already, it is a problem. You need to give 0 f$cks about men who are not your boyfriend and not worry when they come and go.

    If he is waiting for you to text, too bad. Never initiate with men not your boyfriend unless they are very very consistent. His non-responce is not him earning your attention. There is nothing wrong here, but he still needs to do the work.

    #795613 Reply


    Why didn’t you just text him good night text back that night? IMO, by not responding to his good night message, you are sending him a message that you don’t care he got home safely. A simple “Glad your safe, good night and sweet dreams (throw in a couple emoji’s if you use them) would have gone a long way v. outright ignoring him.

    It doesn’t feel nice to be ignored, does it? Anyhow, if he’s leaving soon, and you don’t do LD, then I think its best the two of you say good-bye, and start the process of ending it now so you don’t have to keep this charade up.

    #795623 Reply


    NO, you didnt do anything wrong.
    YOU DONT REACH OUT. You sit and wait, nothing else

    #795625 Reply



    I don’t think you need to worry, if he is into you, he definitely will reach you again. If guys like you they would be very obvious! So Just sit down, put your phone away and do the things you like or you need to do. If he doesn’t want to continue I would say this guy does not deserve you because the guy likes you wouldn’t want to lose you .

    #795629 Reply


    I’m confused…

    So you told him you don’t do long distance and decided to continue to see him expecting him to keep initiating things. Even when he texted you good night after he walked you home, you were kinda inconsiderate and didn’t say “happy you’re home safe, night :)”

    If I were this guy, I’d be over it. No guy wants to put in effort when a girl makes it clear things will not go anywhere.

    #795633 Reply

    Liz Lemon

    I’m with Alice. He’s leaving your city soon, and you told him you don’t do long distance, so what do you expect him to do?

    You made it clear to him this won’t go anywhere so why are you so hung up on his texting habits?

    Also I agree with Tallspicy that you should never be this hung up on a guy who isn’t your boyfriend. Going one day without texting is nothing when you’re dating a guy but not in a relationship. But to me, the main issue here is that this situation will never go anywhere since he’s leaving, and you don’t do long distance, so what’s the point?

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