First date ended awfully. Should I still pursue this?

Forget this guy! Do not pursue this. A person is supposed to be on their best behavior in the beginning stages of dating. He should be trying to impress you. Instead he left you on the side of the road alone and then followed up with a horrible text about how uncomfortable he was walking with you! He’s an a$$hole. His behavior will not get better with time.

p.s. Yes these are red flags!

How old are you both? This seems like very immature behavior and I’m confused why no one was driving? Do you live near each other? I wouldn’t give him the time of day after just leaving that way. Very crappy behavior.

After not picking his call, he has appeared at my door, like an hour ago. He came to apologize in person. He has said that he is sorry for not taking me home. He was waiting for my reaction but I just stood there looking at him & not giving him the reaction. He asked me to yell at him, confront him or talk to him but I’ve just stood there quiet. He has then told me that if I have nothing to tell him, he will just leave. He then left almost immediately.
For a second I felt like giving him another chance because of the great chemistry we have, but I know that would be dumb of me. How do I let this guy go? Just tell him? How would I even tell him that?

I feel bad because I thought that for once I was having something that could go somewhere. Is it the guys I attract or is it my poor judgment?

Ya. If he contacts you again you just text him and say – Upon reflection I would like no further contact. I wish you the best. That’s all you have to say. If he won’t let it go, you just don’t engage. DONT make this about you, your judgement or what you attract. Dating is about observing the man, and yourself, and listening to how you feel. You’ve done that.

No. No. No. No.

All I can think of reading your post is WTF, something is wrong with him.

I don’t care what excuse he has, maybe social anxiety, maybe he’s a jerk, you don’t leave someone alone on the street in the middle of the night, especially when you asked him not to!! He is the one with bad judgement and the one you cannot trust.

You liked him because you hadn’t seen this side of him yet. 3 weeks is nothing in terms of getting to know someone’s character and if they are consistent. He showed you who he is in a pretty short period of time, lucky for you. Now that you have seen it, you’ve learned more about him and that he’s not as good a guy as he seemed. That’s what dating is all about, taking the time to get to know someone and learn who they are and if it’s a good match for you.

He isn’t it.

I don’t think you need to tell him anything because he probably got the hint when he showed up and you didn’t have much to say. But if he does reach out again, do what T suggests and politely and briefly tell him you’re not interested in pursuing things further. And then go no contact because he doesn’t deserve any more of your time.

What a crappy thing to do to someone!! All the red flags!!!!

I don’t think she’s required to say anything, but he’s already shown up unannounced on her doorstep once! No one wants him to do that again so sometimes it’s best to be clear. It wasn’t about her needing to be nice or polite when he was a jerk, it was just about making sure he stays away and doesn’t show up in person again. I saw it as a safety thing so he can’t use lack of closure as an excuse or believe he’s making a grand gesture, since his boundaries are clearly really lousy (as is his sense of a woman’s safety). I’ve seen less emotionally stable people do desperate things when they feel they’ve never received a firm no and think there’s still hope. But I also don’t think she needs to worry much about it because I’d be surprised if he reached out again.

The min he left you on the road in the middle of the night was the end. I had this happen with me once. in my case it was post 1 am. i was horrified as to how a man could do that to me. so unsafe. i tuk a cab and ensured that the cabbie took the safer but longer route which is always bustling despite post midnight. I neevr ever spoke with him again and just blocked him. but then again he didnt know where i stayed so it was ok for me to block him. but since hes shown the tendency to act weird and visit your place unannounced, its best to cut him off politely in case he messages again. you don’t want him coming over again. So to be safe i think Maddie makes sens.