Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Do you guys think I have a chance?
- This topic has 13 replies and was last updated 3 years, 11 months ago by
K.
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Joe
I broke up with my ex gf almost 2 months ago, we were together for about 6.5 months. When I decided to break up there were a lot of factors involved, the pandemic hit, we were under quarantine, I had my kids and ex wife to think of, I had to close my business. I just had a lot going on, and honestly felt like she complicated things, I loved her but was just going through stuff and felt I couldn’t be with her. If I’m being honest, I didn’t break up with her in the best way either, I sent her a vague text just basically saying I couldn’t see her anymore. She called, I didn’t pick up and then the next day she texted asking if I was ok and I never answered. That was the last I heard from her, and I’ll be honest I was pretty sure she’d contact me again, but she hasn’t. In the past whenever there was bump in our relationship she always seemed
to be determined to keep us together, so I am kinda surprised that she walked away so easily without a fight even though I did the breaking up. I do miss her and would like to talk to her but I’m afraid she’d either ignore me or basically say she wants nothing to do with me.We are still friends on social media, so I feel like it’s a good sign that she hasn’t deleted me, she also had one pic of us she posted back in the winter that she hasn’t deleted, but not sure she’s even aware that’s still up. When we were together she would like most of my posts, but since the breakup she hasn’t liked any. I wasn’t liking any of her posts either, but have started to like her posts again I guess in hopes she may contact me or like something back which I would read as a good sign, but she hasn’t.
So my question is, do you guys think I have a chance? I know I just have to bite the bullet and reach out to her, but the thing is I’m not sure if it’s just cause I miss her or I really want to get back together with her. We had a good relationship, but I don’t think I can give her what she wants and that’s what is holding me back.
Jacqueline
Send her a message explaining all of this and ask her if you have a chance.
Tallspicy
Under no circumstances send a message. Man up and call her, and when she ignores you, call again. In your message say that you know you blew it and you acted terribly. You would like to talk to her and explain. Please call me back.
Nathalie
The classic case of men always come back.
Alright Joe im going to be honest!
She totally went about things perfectly I just want to shake her hand and say yes sis!!!!
Just so you know this woman silently went through a lot of pain. When someone breaks up with you without closure it breaks your heart differently. To make it worse, you discarded her during a freaking pandemic. You definitely showed her who is the most important to you. So already there’s a lot of making up to do here. Are you ready for that?
You liking her post has already signal to her that you’re trying to make your arrival back in her life, so she’s just observing the situation or she could just feel indifferent about it.
So here is what can happen: If you message her she might respond just to get the closure of why you left for what it’s worth and what you want now but it might just end there. Or if you truly do the work which will take time i would say there is always a chance to get an ex back.
But here is what im wondering, you said “We had a good relationship, but I don’t think I can give her what she wants and that’s what is holding me back.” Then why are you bothering her at all? Guilt?
You also said “I’m not sure if it’s just cause I miss her or I really want to get back together with her”. Please be sure and know what you want BEFORE you ask if you have a chance with her. Otherwise it’s not fair to disturb her peace.
Tallspicy
Btw, she may tell you to shove it because when push cane to shove, you bailed. That makes you untrustworthy. She will always assume you will bail or not know if you will bail. Maybe get some therapy to understand why you pushed something away good, that might help sway her.
Btw, when you say miss her, you better only f’ing call her if you are darn sure you want to be in a relationship. Not just get validation or talk about it.
K
Either this is a fake post or you’re a selfish idiot. On the off chance this is real, and I’m not convinced it is, read what you wrote. You jerked her around and you don’t really want her. Leave her alone and let her move on to someone who does and will treat her decently because honestly, you’re been a dishonorable a-hole here. I hope no one treats your daughters or other women in your life the way you treated her. IF you’re a genuine person and this is a genuine situation. A lot of fake posts on this site with elaborate stories like this.
Ss
Anyone else wondering if this is a fake post from someone who posted previously saying she wanted her ex back??
If this is real my advice is : do not contact her. It would be incredibly selfish since you don’t even know if you want to get back together so you will just mess with her mind and hurt her again. If you care about her then leave her alone
T from NY
This has to be fake. This man has children and said he had a business he closed. Can you really have those levels of responsibility and still be HORRIBLE, self absorbed and immature enough to refuse to speak to someone you broke up with through a “vague” TEXT that you’d been dating for half a year AND he said she was going through “stuff” as well. And he just ABANDONED her?!
I am not blaming any person in a relationship that gets overwhelmed with life especially during a pandemic! But a respectful, healthy, dignified and loving partner would articulate they need to disconnect in order to tend to themselves and not just leave their partner completely in the dark. It’s just awful.
And now to be coming back and saying you don’t know if you can give her what she wants?!?!? And to again show you’re immaturity by liking posts on her social media?!??! That’s the most indirect, unmasculine way of doing business. Do this woman a favor. Work on you. Work on being strong emotionally, figuring out EXACTLY what kind of relationship you would be open to right now or near future, EXACTLY what you’d be willing to give – and THEN call her. And call her again if she doesn’t answer and man up and express how completely awful you were. But ONLY (again) if you get to a place you can give to her. If not – leave her the hell alone – is my opinion.
Newbie
Ss, that has happened in the past. Where someone i guess wasnt happy with the responses and wrote a post from the guy’s perspective. Its also why i never respond to post from ‘males’. I dont know about this one of course. My bet its a flipped script. If not, i dont want to advice a guy who is not sure about wanting her back, to go for it. Like others said so already
K
Yeah, this strikes me as a flipped script that’s just designed to rile people up and start a s%^& storm of replies, which the fake poster can sit back and laugh at. And of course “Joe” has not responded. Guys don’t really talk like this. “My ex wife and kids to think of…” sounds extremely fishy, not something a guy would say. And it’s very, very rare for a genuine guy to post here.
K
A while back we all thought “Warasen” was a real guy and posted here a lot and but then got outed in a post and disappeared forever. This is why I rarely answer questions here any longer – waste of time and energy.
Newbie
I missed warasen getting outed. What happened? I assumed he was a genuine guy too
Newbie
Oh i remember the female version of this story. The girl that couldnt see her new bf because he promised the ex he wouldnt let others In the house including her
K
Newbie, “Warasen” outed “himself” last year while replying to a post that was started under another name. He replied and then responded in the OP’s voice as Warasen. The admin confirmed it was the same person and “Warasen” disappeared from the post and the site and hasn’t posted under that name since.
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