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This topic contains 4 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Anon 1 month, 1 week ago.

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  • #791527 Reply

    Lil

    Hi

    I’ve decided to jump back onto a dating site. I’ve been on them before but I don’t stay on them for long usually a few weeks to a month. My question is about messaging.

    I’ve noticed that there is the usual quick to like you and send a message type of guys. You get the feeling these guys send messages to every new person..Then there are those that send you a message and you respond but they take hours to respond again and then you respond and the same lag … I guess I like to have more of a ping pong type of conversation. I find the stilted conversations really don’t go anywhere and are pretty basic and boring about weather and what your day has been like.

    I have been told I come across by a guy as too keen as I text back quickly and most women hardly respond . Am I making a mistake ? I have had success as far as going on dates go but I’m finding it harder to get any type of conversation happing. I never text first but wait to reply to a message first. Maybe I’m
    Not flirty enough? I just try and be myself and have light hearted conversation.. any advice ?

    A side note our covid restrictions are lifting so we can now meet people ..

    #791530 Reply

    Lane

    Online dating is like a “candy store” where men, and women, have hundreds of *options* at the click of a mouse button.

    Many men have been on those sites for so long, its become an addiction, always looking for a new piece of “candy” so you need to weed them out super fast.

    Are you wanting a pen pal, or a date? If a man isn’t trying to meet you within a few exchanges, you drop him. Do not get into conversations online, as that’s not the point. The point is to meet in real life asap, in a public setting, like a cup of coffee (avoid heavy dates), so you can get a better feel for the individual, not what they type on a screen—anyone of those hundreds perusing the “candy store” can do that…YAWN.

    Use it sparingly by not talking with those who are putting in zero effort to meet you. Stop demanding they respond in a certain way as that’s controlling and not a good dating mindset to be in. Men have lives, work, have hobbies, which is what you want; not some dude JUMPING every time you respond because those are the one’s just sitting behind a computer responding to new profiles and wasting your time, yup, the very one’s you are complaining about—so pick your poison.

    You still need to spend time beyond the site meeting men in real life as they are everywhere! They are getting their oil changed, grabbing lunch, at the beach, at a local event, at the park…you get the drift. Don’t forget to get out and about by showing men you are far more interesting than *instantly* responding to lame emails on a dating site :o)

    #791532 Reply

    Newbie

    I think you are making a mistake trying to date. Its a minefieldm and you really need all your wits and confidence not to get hooked on another weird guy. If i remember it right you were in a bad marriage and then got sucked in with mister open marriage. Dont date, heal first and find yourself again

    #791590 Reply

    Lil

    That’s great advice Lane, thank you.

    Newbie, you are correct . I guess I was curious so I decided to have a look at what was about there. But you are right I need more time …

    On a side note. Online is very difficult to navigate. I live in a smallish town and I work alone so I don’t get to meet many new people. At my age I think I will struggle to meet people when I am ready . In saying that I’m liking being single but after a life starved marrige I would like to meet someone at some stage .

    #791593 Reply

    Anon

    I recall your last post- good for you for moving on from the last situation you were in. You definitely will eventually find someone that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Online dating is where it’s at, but it’s not everything. I’d have fun seeing what’s out there as it can be entertaining, but there will be a lot of garbage you may go through to find a decent person to date. Now is a good time to build yourself up and gain confidence in yourself before you jump into this so you can easily weed these guys out.

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