confusing ex

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  • #899289 Reply


    Okay so my ex and I broke up a couple months ago. Although it was quite messy, it was for the best because it was very unhealthy, and we both recognized that. After a month of being single again he admitted he was still in love with me, and i told him I still loved him too but staying single was the best thing for us right now because it was clear we had to work on ourselves more, and his college is five hours away from mine anyways. We still texted occasionally because we obviously still care for the other. Then one night he tells me he can’t be in my life if he isn’t dating me because it hurts to see me when he can’t love on me. He then unfollows and unadds me off of all social media and tells me this is goodbye forever. I was very confused and hurt and I told him that and he didn’t understand at all why I was hurt so I explained why and then we agreed it was best if we just stayed away for now because obviously we needed time to heal. That lasted about a week before he started to send me cute animal tiktoks, which I didn’t respond to at first since our deal was to stay away. But he kept sending them anways so I started to send back very dry responses because I couldn’t help it, I mean I still love him but I couldn’t ignore him. Today my twin sister showed me that he followed her on tiktok. If he wanted to be out of my life so bad why is he still texting me and why is he following my sister? Do I call him out or should I finally just ignore him for good and let it just roll off my back?

    #899293 Reply


    Hi Anna,
    Sounds like he is bouncing back and forth. It takes more time for some than others to get it together. Social media, is just social media. Let it slide that he is following your sister. You have stated very rational reasons why you should be apart and single. So, be strong and stick with it, concentrate on that. Take care of your emotional sanity.

    #899339 Reply


    HERE IS A THRLLING UPDATE!! he just posted a screenshot of my tinder profile on his private story and was s***ting on me and a friend of mine saw it and sent it to me. I called him out for it and he’s saying it is a joke, it is clear he is annoyed that I talked to him about it. I am even more confused.

    #899491 Reply


    My guess is he still wants to be with you and is probably confused by you saying you still love him but it’s not enough. Because he may feel like it is enough to try again, and therefore why wouldn’t you feel the same way?? He tried to bait you with goodbye forever and hoped you’d chase him instead of letting him go. But his boundaries are actually quite weak. Once that didn’t work, he tried to stay connected but got a reality slap in the face that you mean what you say and you’re not getting back together when he saw your tinder profile (even though him seeing your profile means his is up as well and he’s searching, though perhaps it was to see if he could find you and find out if you’re really dating others).

    What do you really want? If it’s not to be with him, you can enforce your boundaries about having space for a while. Let him know you care about him but you’re blocking him for now so you can both heal. Don’t make any promises beyond that, but if you feel you can be just friends way down the road and want to reconnect, unblock him and see where he’s at you can give it a try. Doesn’t mean he’ll want to bother being friends at that point, but I’ve had it go both ways and have salvaged a couple friendships with enough time and space for everyone to move on from romantic feelings (even if I set the boundary because they wouldn’t).

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