Changing the vibe I'm giving off – overall!


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This topic contains 7 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Sylvia 1 week, 4 days ago.

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  • #779788 Reply

    Sylvia

    It’s not just dating wise. So basically I try not to live in the past but both the past and the future so far don’t look great. I used to be this energetic girl and now my co-workers noticed I’m “sad” “calm”. It’s not just a bad day or two. The worst part is that I am sad most of the time and lack energy. I have hobbies, work. I called up a therapist but she’s available from January.
    So for the future – how to give off “not needy, carefree vibe” to a guyeven if you feel like it?
    How can I now fake a I’m normal not upset? I just don’t feel like myself.

    #779791 Reply

    Tallspicy

    you don’t date until you are sorted. and you are authentic that you are going through a tough time.

    In the meantime, start meditating (tons of free stuff out there) and a gratitude practice. You are alive today, you have a healthy body, the sun came up, the sky is pretty cool. Stuff like that.

    #779796 Reply

    Sylvia

    Thank you for reminding me there are so many things I should be grateful for. I definitely needed it. They say friends and other guys make you forget about problem and past guys but I’m not ready for dating. It’s also possible that I read way too many articles and comments instead of the few and wisest and asked for them. So my brain wired towards mistakes with guys vs normal life.
    I definitely want to be sad and spread the bad vibe around! Should I admit that I don’t feel well to people around me?

    #779799 Reply

    anonymous

    Sylvia I love how transparent u are because I feel this exact same way as you. Every time I get into a situation, I always seem to mess things up with my ways/habits which make me feel like I am not good enough for anyone I meet, then it puts me into a funk/depressed state and make me think I should not be dating until I get my ways together like TallSpicy said. I am glad I am not the only one who feels this way.

    I think it’s great that you are seeking to see a therapist and if you feel comfortable enough to let those closest to you know you’re not well—go for it. It could probably help in making you feel better by taking it out, going out with friends etc.

    #779807 Reply

    Khadija

    I agree with Tallspicy I would bypass dating until you work on yourself.
    When we are the best versions of ourselves we tend to attract a better partner.

    #779834 Reply

    Better off single

    Fake it til you make it

    #779839 Reply

    Newbie

    You read too much dating advice and its messing with your head. I saw you being all over the place once you started posting. Reading is fine but dont forget your authentic self. Youre not supposed to become the dating equivalent of a stepford wife. Stop dating for now and Yes take some counseling. You are just in a funk. It will be fine

    #779845 Reply

    Sylvia

    Thank you to every single one of you, each one brought some unique perspective and advice. I’m slowly trying meditation (slowly because my thoughts appear during the practice which is to be expected for a long time to come). Tallspicy, you’re amazing.
    Anonymous – I’m glad you feel that way. If we’re so alike then it probably means you’re as cruel to yourself as am I. So please, let’s try being kind and forgive ourself.
    Newbie, you made me smile. I bombarded this forum and read almost every single new post. It was an eye-opening but depressing experience. Now I feel smarter I know which mistakes not to make but you’re right. I am who I am, I don’t want to and can’t become a stepford wife. There are many guys, friends that will like my quirky side and energy and accept my personality. If not it means we’re not compatible and life goes on.
    I’ll be back here soon but a break will do me good. I try to forget about dating, guy problems, analyzing my mistakes. I want to forgive myself and move on. I’ll focus on what makes me feel good. Have a lovely festive season, ladies! :*

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