Can this actually turn into something?

Agree with what Tallspicy said. Though I also know that when a man is motivated about you, and open to a relationship, he will move mountains. I went on only 3 dates with someone shortly before I elected to quarantine myself and I let him know that due to our acquaintance being so new — I had zero expectations for communications until things had settled down in the world. He responded he would like to call me to work something out. We’ve now had several “phone dates”, played games on the phone, and texted everyday. He’s a good sport for sure. And a lot of men aren’t “phone people” – but if a man doesn’t want to lose you – he will make it known.

I suggest reaching out to say – I’d love to talk to you about ideas how we could stay connected during this time – if that’s something you’re interested in. Hoping you are well! — If he does not make an effort to engage with you after you’ve made that offer — he is not motivated to keep anything going at this time and possibly may reach out when things settle — but might not. Other than that text — I would let him lead. It’s the only way you’ll know if he has genuine interest.

If you were open to having a real relationship, why did you have sex before getting to know him and whether or not he wanted the same thing?

Geez Andrea do you have to be the Victorian sex police on every post??

Ladies, learn to accept that there are other opinions out there besides yours. I’m well within my rights to offer mine.

I’m not saying Andrea isn’t correct. It’s the delivery. Same snarky, slut-shaming comments on any post on this subject. It’s not constructive advice for the OPs and it’s grown very tiresome. Just saying.

Andrea shows up regularly and makes the same short comments over and over. It’s always the same: why did you have sex before you were in a relationship? The implication being it’s wrong. Don’t put out until you have a commitment. If you do and he walks away, you deserved to be abandoned because you – gasp – had sex with him.

Guess what – women like sex and want it too. Would you ever ask that question of a guy? Heck no.

Women post here because they are having difficulties in dating and relationships. If they knew the answers they wouldn’t have to post because they wouldn’t be making mistakes. This is a place for teaching, not shaming.

I’m in 100% agreement that women should be careful who they have sex with. It’s unwise for a number of reasons to just jump into bed too soon.

I’d love to see Andrea actually help the women posting here understand why and how to set their standards for sex rather than just throwing them a sentence or two of “well, what did you expect, you had sex with him too fast. Learn from it and move on.” That’s just self-righteous preaching from a high and mighty stance that is subtle shaming.

Yes, she certainly has the right to air her views, I’m not saying she doesn’t. I’m just asking her to think about why she keeps coming here and shaming women in three sentences or less over sex.

I don’t want to be argumentative – and yes, everyone is entitled to his own opinion – but not all women automatically WANT a relationship after having sex with a guy, just as not every guy drops a girl after he “gets what he wants” without being “locked down” into an exclusive relationship.

NOTE: I’m sick right now and I’m trying to work, so I’m not sure how the tone of my answer will come off. I just want to let all of you know that I’m not trying to be mean or sh*tty about anything. Please overlook any typos or disjointed thoughts. I DO try to edit, but I can barely think straight.

I know it was a different time, when all you had to do was make sure you didn’t forget to take your birth control pill and if you caught anything, antibiotics could clear you right up, but I was with more than a few guys and, outside of one one-night stand (a bottle and a half of tequila, neither one of us would’ve done it otherwise – and we went back to the “casual friends” relationship we had), NOT ONE GUY didn’t come back – even the one with the “one-and-done” M.O.

The thing was that I can honestly say that I wouldn’t have cared if any or all of them had dropped me. I did what I wanted with whomever I wanted whenever I wanted to do it and didn’t worry about when/if he came back or what he thought of me the next day.

(I believe this is along the same lines of what Tallspicy said about giving ZERO f*cks about what happens next if you’re going to date.)

I’m suspicious of your excuses about why you didn’t respond to his requests for a date – not even an “I’m sorry, I’m really busy/involved with someone/taking a vacation from dating right now” – and then – lo and behold! – your work schedule cleared right up when you saw him in person and realized that “he was very attractive.”

I think he might be, too – and your rude behavior had more to do with any loss of interest on his part than “leading with sex” did.

I’m giving up trying to edit this into some coherent form, so I’ll sum up my advice in two points:

1) When someone is interested enough in you to ask you out, you’re not obligated to accept – but you SHOULD respond with a nice turndown. Ask yourself how you would feel if the situation were reversed and he treated your invitations EXACTLY the same way you treated his. If you wouldn’t like to be treated that way, don’t treat him that way.

2) Take Tallspicy’s advice and not date anyone unless you can look at yourself in the mirror and honestly tell yourself that you give ZERO f*cks if a date develops into a relationship.

I hope this hasn’t confused you even more than you already are – and I hope I haven’t hurt your feelings.

Now, it’s back to work for me.

Kaye, I said what I had to say and you’re welcome to disagree. I give plenty of advice on other posts as I”m sure you’ve noticed. And you assumed wrong. I wasn’t being sarcastic at all. You’ve also not understood the point I was trying to make and it’s not worth trying to explain it to you.

Have a great day.