Boyfriend lack of communication while on vacation

If you specifically asked him to contact you when he arrived and he didn’t, yes, I would say that is inconsiderate.

I get being in a little less contact while on a trip, but you asked him to let you know he’d arrived and he just didnt’ do it.

I’d be upset too.

How is the relationship otherwise?

If he was otherwise the super attentive boyfriend from heaven who just made a mistake then I would said potentially just let him know you felt very worried not hearing from him and to please not do it again next time. For a good guy, that would be all he would need– to hear it once, politely, without a lot of emotion, and he’d make sure not to worry you again.

Do you think you can have that kind of conversation with him and have it go well?

I don’t know what “complicated” means, but combined with this, doens’t sound too promising.

I agree. Women checking in is second nature. Men check in only if there was a problem and they have a story to tell. Otherwise they assume that you assume they’re fine.

That said, I’m not sure what you’re upset about. Did he not check in? Or did he check in but then went quiet with you once on the trip?

Lol my bf would be really pissed if I didn’t tell him I landed safely. He would also want me to keep in touch at leary a minimum when I’m on holiday, as he touched base with me throughout his trips. Even if I go out at night, he wants me to text to tell him I got home safe so he knows I’m safe.

I don’t think telling your so you land or expecting they tell you they land is a ‘woman’ thing.

They are already long distance, not touching base means there is no relationship at all. Because he won’t be returning to her after, he’ll be returning to his state, where she isn’t.

Seriously sometimes people here find problems with the most basic common decency things.

I think your relationship is probably not so good and the fact he didn’t talk to you at all even if you asked specifically says a lot.

In a good relationship, a man won’t feel coddled when the gf asks ‘let me know when you land safely’. That’s only a problem when there’s already sth fundamentally wrong in how you communicate and relate to each other or if you’ve shown any clingy behaviour before. Or if he’s a commitment phobe.

Anyway,i think sth is up. Especially of you call it ‘complicated’. Usually means ‘should have broken up months ago but keep unhealthily attached’.

@Algo

@ GS- Funny you should say that, but I can bet we check in with his Aunt.
@ EMMA- NO, I’m not the kind of girl who would put up with BS
@ Jackie he never called or text until he got back in the country.

To me, it’s not an issue of whether or not a man is normally *inclined* to check in (though the caring ones usually would contact you over the course of a week long vacation– if they’ve got time to FB they have time to check in!). But that fact that you asked him and he flat out ignored your request. Who cares if he normally thinks that’s important or not– he’s entitled to have a view on that I suppose, but if its’ important enough to her that she requested it, it would take literally 2 mins to do so. he can’t do that? I dunno, I just think its thoughtless and rude. We always tell women not to expect a man to be a mind reader– but I firmly believe that a man who loves you and is invested will make every effort to meet what was a VERY responsbile request. You weren’t asking for constant check ins or phone calls!

I mentioned that our relationship is complicated because we have only been back together for 10 months after we broke off our relationship.

@ Algo, whether our relationship is worth working on or just letting go is a difficult decision. Since we have been back together we have made real progress in fixing our previous issues, part of which included living so far from each other. We still live in different States but the difference is now only 2.5hr driving distance.

But then if both partners are not putting in equal effort in a relationship is it worth it?
This incident just put a big dent in my confidence that we are making “progress”.

But I have gotten to the point where saying you love someone is not enough and sorries are running out.
so @ Fiona, I’m not sure I’m getting a clear msg because from my side the water tends to be very murky. I’m not clingy, far from it and maybe that’s part of the problem because as an independent woman, I feel I should be treated a certain way but relationships require compromise…. but when enough is enough.

@Algo – “Seriously sometimes people here find problems with the most basic common decency things.”

So true!

How on earth is it “normal”? To go on vacation and zippo, not a word for a WEEK? how can it be normal? When someone say “guys do not check in” I wonder if they ever lived or had a guy. What guys do not check it? Only some rude dorks. Most other guys do check in and ask you to check in and would be worried if you didn’t.

Darn phone…sorry for typos, it’s
Possessed lol

Hi Julianna my boyfriend did the same thing went for 14-days with a family member and said he would call me the minute he arrived. The trip was based on a relative who was getting surgery to done to where his presence was needed. I waited 3-days just to give him enough time to settle down and relaxed. As I thought he would pick up and never did at all…I called, called and called! So I stopped and said forget it. I left text messages pertaining to how I felt…still no response. So the funny thing he came back on 3/24 as I thought and called me the day after 3 o’clock to let me know he made it back! He continued calling me the next few days etc. I thought well why is it so important to let me know you are in town..but couldn’t pick up the phone during the trip. I felt so lost, like what happened??? It was a crazy experience for me.