Home › Forums › The Community Lounge › Anyone else feeling so down and feel like they're not good enough?
- This topic has 4 replies and was last updated 2 years, 7 months ago by
Hilandi.
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Gina
I’ve been single for a long time now, and I know I shouldn’t compare my life to other people, but sometimes when I see people’s lives having kids and a partner, I feel so left out. I’m in my mid 30s now. I feel when someone asks me when I’m getting married, or have children, they’re judging me and that gets me down. I just have to grit my teeth and pretend to be okay with it.
I suffer from anxiety because I feel so alone, my parents’ divorce, I felt like I had no one to talk to, my mum felt like she was the victim and I was never allowed to express how I feel inside, I was in a 10 year relationship that ended in 2015, no kids. He was the only one that gets me. I have been dating since my break up with him, but just feel I’m not attracted to anyone of them. I’m online dating but I just can’t seem to be bothered since they just wanna sleep around.
This is the only place where I feel I’m not alone and can share the same feelings. I just want to get my feelings out, not looking for sympathy, just feel like I’m always angry for no reason.
Sara
I am sorry you feel this way. I totally understand I feel the same way. Its so hard not to compare where we are in life to those around us. I am in the same boat for different reasons. Sometimes I just i had that person to stand by me and tell me everything is going to be ok, to show up and support me. Its hard, so hard and can be so lonely. Right now I am trying hard to put my ego aside and be grateful for everything good i do have.
For me, i have accepted that i got myself in some financial trouble, about 15k debt, I know this is not the end of the world, and in comparison to that i am doing well. (Own my own condo in Vancouver BC, did it all by myself) I just took a second job to pay off the debt and get some savings… i feel like a complete loser.. but have been telling myself be grateful I was able to get a side job so quick. Also how proud i will be when I reach my goal.
For you, maybe consider taking step back from trying to date and “date yourself” get comfortable being alone. I am also trying to do that and it is so hard. Be kind to yourself. Life can be so hard… but as they say… if it wasnt hard, you wouldn’t appreciate the good as much. Stay strong and remember you are not aloneMaddie
You’ve actually done a good job introspecting and identifying some areas that are the source of your feelings. Have you ever tried therapy? What you’ve said is very real and valid and probably goes a lot deeper than you realize, because it’s really not intuitive how much of an impact experiences that aren’t directly related to dating affect dating. Being angry all the time most likely means you’re getting stuck somewhere and not fully processing your emotions, and a good therapist can help give you tools to get you un-stuck so you can heal some of these issues. But you’re not alone, it may not seem like it but there’s plenty of people who are lonely in their mid 30s and grappling with it just like you (I know I was). The good news is, if you really want it to change, there are actions you can take. It’s not a hopeless or helpless situation, which is good news :)
Laura
Hi it sucks the situation your in but I will not last forever :) I would avoid dating anyone atm as you don’t seem to be enjoying it and your holding onto fond memories with your ex still start doing things that put a smile on your face and find what makes you happy. Do things for you and put yourself first it’s easy to get stuck in a rut but try not to stay there as it makes you feel worse. Be assertive and make a decision to do something for you we all feel lost at one point esp after breakups you can be happy without a guy family ect do t put pressure on yourself just do you and don’t be harsh on yourself ❤️
Hilandi
Hi everyone, i can relate to this. Me and my ex broked up, i’m not gonna lie i do miss him very much, sometimes i ask myself? Was i good enough for him? Cause lately i feel i wasn’t and it is a crap feeling. I’m crying my eyes out. And i don’t know what to do. I want to win him back but i don’t know how. I feel hopeless. I want to give our relationship a last shot. I just don’t want to give up. I would appreciate some advice. I have a son aswell and he loves my son as his own. He really did treat me good. I was unsure back in time that i dont want to be in a relationship but now i am 100% sure i want to be. I left him but i’m regretting it now. And i don’t want to lose him. How do i win him back.
You are not alone i feel for everyone here. I feel like this is a safe place for me 🥰
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