Amazing connection, WHY did he ghost

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This topic contains 6 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  tammy 1 month, 1 week ago.

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  • #813573 Reply


    I (f25) met T (M26) on hinge, we hit it off and texted for days. He is a super abrupt guy, not afraid to speak his mind and no cares about what people think of him. The day we were planning to meet for the first time he texted me jokingly that he needed help finding motivation for to leave his house and meet up. This was odd to me but i’m very sensitive and it was along the lines of his sense of humour so I just fired a joke back and we met up later that day.

    It was amazing. Sexual chemistry off the charts, we could not stop talking. We hung out way longer than originally planned, went for a long walk, etc. At night we went to his house, I lay on his lap and we watched 3 movies, he was super considerate of me and made sure i was comfortable the whole time, didn’t try and fondle me, just stroked my hand and arm. it really felt like the beginning of a good thing.

    then. days after we were still texting, we talked about meeting up again. he said the weekend was better for us to meet because of his work. On friday I asked what he was up to that night. he replied with “getting drunk with my boys. friday is for the boys”

    no prob

    i woke up the next morning to a text from him that he sent that night: “come cuddle with me and sleeepppppp”

    I replied, and nothing. He didn’t even open it.
    later that day I texted him asking if he was down to chill tonight.
    nothing. he did not open my messages until today, a week later, and he still sent no reply.

    I checked out his hinge profile and he had changed his entire bio to be about wanting a sugar momma who will buy him expensive things. wtf?? guys, any ideas as to what the hell happened??

    #813605 Reply


    You made up a story about who this guy was based on one day of interaction. That is what happened. You should not be at a mans house on the first date. You should at most have dinner with him and go home. This is on you for being swept up instead of balancing your head and heart to watch him behave over the course of time.

    You went on one date. The only thing that matters is what happens after the date. Does he follow up quickly and ask you out again. The rest of it literally has no meaning until he is officially your boyfriend.

    Why did he ghost? He did not ghost, that happens when ethere is a relationship. He dated you and moved on. It is called dating.

    #813606 Reply

    T from NY

    Girl! Not only is this guy not dating material, he’s not even casual hook up material! He’s LAZY and obnoxious. You don’t say what you’re looking for (committed or just to have fun) but I make all men treat me with respect and responsiveness if they expect to hang out with me. Men who flake or express lack of interest (as he is definitely doing) do NOT make the cut. And please know – long dates are also lazy – as that’s just a man who has nothing better to do and doesn’t want to make the effort to court you for multiple occasions. A lot of times men of low quality disappear when they realize you’re not going to let them walk all over you. Let this one go. Make the man court you or let him fly. You deserve better.

    #813619 Reply

    Liz Lemon

    This guy sounds awful. Abrupt, doesn’t care what people think of him = a$$hole. He SHOULD care what you think of him. He should be courting you & be on his best behavior!

    Telling a woman he just met “Friday night is for getting drunk with the boys” = juvenile & immature. Please. Again, these are not the actions of a man who wants to impress you.

    I agree 100% with what Tallspicy & T from NY said, so I won’t repeat the points they have already made. You should expect courtesy & respect from a man. This guy has not demonstrated either of those things. A guy worth dating is consistent in his behavior & makes an effort over time. Let this guy go & work on developing higher standards for yourself.

    #813625 Reply


    Thank you so so so much for the advice! You are all totally right, I NEED to implement higher standards for myself. I am not looking for anything serious right now so I was certain letting behaviours slide. ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR GUT!!!!

    #813731 Reply


    I would also add that some borderline bipolars, psycopaths etc can be very charming and charismatic at first (google it) – they instinctively know how to manipulate an interaction and put on a charm to get the intended result. You said this guy was abrupt and a bit rough humour – it could be that type of personality so I would not be too upset about this one tbh…

    #813737 Reply


    dont even waste time on this idiot. but a word of caution. pls do not go to strange mens’ houses on the first date. its not safe! anything cld have happened!

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