Young & Still New to Dating. Any advice from experience

Ella,CONGRATULATIONS on your job!..I wish you more success in the future!..You stated that this guy has had some short term relationships on different occasions..Its safe to say that he has more experience in the dating world than you..Theirs nothing wrong with that..I advise you to get some experience as well..You dont have to rush into sex or a relationship with anyone..Be confident & date with standards!..Dont expect to much from guys these days because some women go for whatever the guy wants..WRONG!..Always have a voice but listen also..Follow your intuition & try to understand that every guy you come across isn’t meant to be your boyfriend or future husband..Understand that you dont have to base your life on what goes on in society!..You have no reason to feel down or to feel played about anything..Pull yourself together & live!..This wont be the last time someone flakes on you..Hope this helps!..

Trust me it had nothing to do with the sex! Men understand what “whiskey d!ck” is as alcohol inhibits their ability to properly masturbate, they know it, so don’t worry about those things unless there has been a pattern of it without alcohol.

He’s only experienced what is known as “lust” or “infatuation” (look it up) which is very common in the early phases of dating. During the lust/infatuation stage it makes men say or do things when their mind is clouded by a flood of feel good hormones (pheromones, dopamine, endorphins, etc.) until the hormones begin to taper off and naturally begin pulling back to determine if their feeling are real or temporary. If they can’t get you out their head, miss you terribly, and are naturally [key word] compelled to be with or around you then its more likely to grow into “love.” If they don’t then it was a case of temporary infatuation naturally stop the process of wanting to spend time with you.

My youngest son is 27 and admits he’s never fallen in love. He has only been able to get to the infatuation stage, first 2 – 3 months, when his initial feelings for her begin to wane and no longer wants to continue as he sees no reason to continue with a lady he’s not envisioning a long term future with. He even stated they are great ladies, and it had nothing to do with them personally but it was something within him that just wouldn’t let him go any further so he stopped and ended it. I told him, when you meet her you will know as it will feel different than what you’ve experienced thus far and that its best he hold out for the right one than settle for anyone.

I know it sucks when you’re young and feel all these great feelings with a new guy but that’s really all they are, “feelings” and anyone who has feelings knows that they are, in most cases, temporary in nature before they begin to fade and you no longer feel strongly about them. This is why the first few months is the most dangerous territory of a romantic courtship because you don’t know if the initial feelings you felt are going to fade or grow. Only when you’ve surpassed at least 6 months and they continue to grow and strengthen to the point you feel totally safe and secure in the relationship, as it is much CALMER (opposite of infatuation) and you feel totally assured that you’re heading towards a long-term commitment. Only then can you know if its love, lust or infatuation.

For instance, my BF and I have been together over three years where our relationship and love has continued to grow and get stronger with time—that’s what a long-term loving and committed relationship looks and feels like. A year is good benchmark to go by. Until you reach it then its most likely going to be short and temporary and need to set your expectations accordingly.

As hard as it may feel now, this will pass. I remember the feeling of no motivation after a heartbreak and how I too kept replaying things over and over in my mind. Like others have said, allow yourself to feel sad. At the same time, try to get out there and do things you normally would enjoy. Even if you don’t really feel like it. It helped for me at least. Gradually, the pain will subside. There is someone else out there for you. :)

Thank you all for the input. I am feeling a bit better, and every time I want to replay stuff in my head I tell myself its my ego still hurting a bit. Trying not to take this personally! I am now having a bit trouble removing him from social media, it ended amicably, and I muted him but I don’t like him just sitting there ( I also blocked him from viewing my stuff), but we still are following. I don’t know why its so difficult to remove someone…..I wish I didn’t take this stuff so seriously, but I know this will help my move on process.