February 14, 2018 at 10:14 am #683567
I have been seeing this guy for a few months. He tends to blow hot and cold at times with his texting. We see each one or two times a week and I usually spend the night. About a month ago, I went to his house and he was really drunk with his friend. He kept telling his friend he loves me but has never said it directly to me before that or since. I didn’t want to tell him I love him back just in case it was only the booze talking. I am not sure he meant it. I am not the kind of person to say “I love you” first.
Anyway, I saw him this past weekend and when I texted him about something on Monday, he answered quickly but kept the conversation short. Now, I am upset I won’t hear from him today. Maybe he doesn’t see me as a love interest and he won’t wish me Happy V Day. Should I wish him first? I am very lost on what to do/think.February 14, 2018 at 10:16 am #683568
Now that I think about it, he didn’t make plans to see me today so I guess I already have my answer. He doesn’t care about me. My day is ruined. : (. I hate Valentines Day.February 14, 2018 at 10:48 am #683571
I had similar situation but yesterday I asked if he had plans on me for V Day and that I would like to see him that evening. He answered that he completely forgot about this Day but suggested to meet at his and he cooks for me or we go out. So when I said he’s a tremendous romantic to forget about this day, he said that in his technical/engineering education “Romantics” was not a major subject.
Anyways, guys might not be as much excited about this day in general, but also might be due to fading out. I don’t know..
So what you will do if he doesn’t reach our today but text you another day?February 14, 2018 at 10:55 am #683572
Dont get me wrong but some men are freaking out about Valentines day.
They think women are too demanding or only wait for that.
Just talk to him or text him as usual, like its a normal day and dont bring V day to him.
He has to wish it to you, not you ok? and if he does not, its ok give it a chance, its a new relationship just a few months, dont scare him, be understandingFebruary 14, 2018 at 11:07 am #683573
In no way is this to negate your feelings but, please keep in mind this is only one day.
His actions as of late has shown you that his interest is low.
I think its time you move on.
Enjoy your day and stop worrying about a guy who isn’t worried about you.February 14, 2018 at 12:41 pm #683580
Are you in a relationship or FWBs? It wasn’t clear from your post. How long is a few months?February 14, 2018 at 12:48 pm #683582
I know it is just another day but so much importance is put on it. I was just hoping he cared about me or would think of me today. I feel stupid for thinking that. I figured he was losing interest in me. Seems everyone loses interest in me early on or within a few months.
Sadly, it is harder for me to forget them as easily as they forget me. I guess I will stop talking to him. Which shouldn’t be hard as I assume I won’t hear from him again anyway.
Hope everyone else has a good day. Thank you.February 14, 2018 at 12:51 pm #683584
I don’t know what we are. We haven’t had the talk or been made official but we are more than just FWB’s. 4 months but things have been slow. I really felt he liked me but not hearing from him today makes me feel otherwise. I am so stupid.February 14, 2018 at 1:08 pm #683590
You’re not stupid at all! You like him and you hope you’ll hear from him. You still might.
I think after 4 months, going with the flow is a bad idea. It gets you into FWB territory. If someone hasn’t stepped up by then, I would have “the talk”. Ask him where you both stand because you want to be clear.
In this case, I wouldn’t bother with that. Everyone knows it’s Valentine’s Day. If he doesn’t get in touch, I would forget him.
You’ll find the right guy eventually. You seriously do have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a Prince! But the great thing is, you then appreciate him even more when you find him.February 14, 2018 at 2:58 pm #683600
I think if you have been spending the night a couple nights a week, then he is obligated, as a gentleman, to plan and take you out for a couples night on V day.
But he has not mentioned it or made plans.
Yuck. I personally would drop him now, if he fails, which he already has. I would not have sleepovers, then get blown off on V day.
When a man has a new GF, he should want to show her she is special, and show her he knows how to love a lady.
He’s getting sex, he should be decent, buy a simple gift of jewelry, and a planned dinner.February 14, 2018 at 3:06 pm #683601
And hell no, you should not wish it first. How lame. Please don’t. He has already blown you off for the day. don’t be pathetic and send him a text at all. nothing. Just drop his lame self.
It is a good thing, you have seen the light. he has revealed that he is not interested in making you feel special. He must be a blockhead, or really using you.
I would not mention a thing about V day. Will he have the nerve to text and ask you for a sleepover in the near future? If so, I would decline, and drift away from him asap.February 14, 2018 at 4:03 pm #683610
I guess I’m in the minority, because I am a female who could care less about Valentines Day.
It’s a made up holiday promoted by the greeting card companies, florists etc.
It does not impress me if a guy does something on V day since there is a universal expectation. I am the one who asks we not make a big deal of it-because I find it silly.
I actually feel sorry that guys have to deal w/so many unrealistic expectations about a made up day.
What matters is how they treat you everyday. If they show respect, consideration, admiration and affection consistently.
The guys who USUALLY go all out on Valentine’s Day are often the ones who are douches the rest of the year and just trying to make up for it.
I think people might be happier if they focused on what really matters and not insignificant stuff like one day a year that has little relevance to your actual relationship.
Just MHOFebruary 14, 2018 at 7:50 pm #683625
All of the above posters have brought up valid points. I think this is your cue to dump this guy…PROACTIVELY….not because he didn’t make V-day plans with you, but because he is WAY too lazy in the relationship overall. You can do better. Dump him officially tomorrow. As for today, treat yourself to something fabulous!February 14, 2018 at 9:42 pm #683630
How can you forget about V day, it’s all over the news, all over malls, etc. If the guy did not ask you out of a V day, this speaks of his intentions. Don’t want to upset you ladies but men don’t “forget”. When you ask him directly, of course he’d use some excuse.February 14, 2018 at 9:48 pm #683631
He wished me a Happy V Day and said he hopes I am having a good day. He didn’t ask to see me, though. I am not that concerned about gifts or anything and I am happy he thought of me enough to contact me. But most of the advice here is that I should forget about him. I like him but I am confused on what to do. Should I stop talking to him?February 14, 2018 at 11:14 pm #683634
Yes. Stop talking to him. I’m going through the same thing. The guy contacted me, but said nothing about V-day and neither have I. I think that’s our cue to leave.
Don’t waste any more time, OP.February 14, 2018 at 11:48 pm #683637
I’m sorry Sad, that I love you stuff was just the alcohol talking and if he’s avoided you today it’s a very clear message he’s not that interested. This isn’t going anywhere. All the guys I’ve dated who have been all in always did dinner, a card and a small gift on Valentine’s Day. And I also have done a card and a small gift for him, or offered to cook dinner if we had been dating a long time (only did that once, was taken out otherwise). The wonderful man I”m with now gave me lovely roses, a small box of gourmet chocolate and we had a nice dinner out. Some of you can complain about this being a commercial holiday but it’s a celebration of love and romance and I think it’s sweet. Guys don’t “forget” this day if they are serious about you.February 15, 2018 at 8:06 am #683649
I wouldn’t stop talking to him before you find out where you stand. Just make sure you walk if he doesn’t offer what you’re looking for.February 15, 2018 at 8:20 am #683654
He let you know loud and clear where you stand.its called crumbs. If he had planned a date, you would have knocked yourself out planning the perfect gift . But he didn’t do the same for you.
He put no effort into you. I don’t see how you can still like him. You have now proven to him that he can give crumbs and you will lick them up and be greatful for crumbs.
He will drop you when he finds someone he really likesFebruary 15, 2018 at 2:41 pm #683672
Geesh, you guys are harsh.February 15, 2018 at 3:24 pm #683682
Not harsh – truthful. You knew the answer to your question before you even posted here, actually. I think you are pretty down on yourself from all the comments you’ve posted and I’m sorry to see that. This is just one man. Apparently not the one for you. Not worth getting this down over. You can’t let other people’s behavior or opinion of you destroy your self esteem like this honey. This is the point in dating where either things go forward or it fizzles and most time it is going to fizzle. Do something nice for yourself today. You deserve it.
He will probably contact you again, but it’s up to you if you want to keep going with something that doesn’t seem to have a future. Me, I would bow out.
If you don’t think well of yourself and treat yourself well, you can’t expect any better from anyone else. People take their cue for how to treat you from YOU. You’ve been seeing him and sleeping with him a few times a week for long enough now for you to have enough information if he meets your standards. A guy who doesn’t do anything for Valentine’s Day is sub-standard. Move on and keep your chin up. Raise your self esteem before you start dating again or you will repeat this experience.February 15, 2018 at 3:48 pm #683695
I agree with Sandy. Oprah once said: ‘You need to teach people how to treat you.’
It’s one of the best things I’ve ever heard anyone say. This is not how you deserve to be treated, you deserve someone from whom you know how they feel and you know they are committed to you.
You have let this man do whatever he wanted without anything in return. I get it, I’ve been there. We all have (pretty much). And it isn’t an easy thing to change but you can do it. Start by realising he was lucky to have you but you can do better.February 15, 2018 at 3:58 pm #683698
All this stress and anxiety you had posting because you were worried he wouldn’t wish you Happy Valentine’s. Then in the end he did but it didn’t make you any happier or answer any of the real questions you have which is where does this relationship stand and how does he feel about you? It’s been a few months, he’s blowing hot and cold, he hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend or committed to you and you don’t even know if he sees you as a “love” interest. When a man is falling in love with you it is clear. You can tell my his actions, the things he says to you, the things he does for you, how he includes you in his life, his future plans, and how he wants to make sure you know how he feels. I am not seeing anything in this man’s actions indicating he wants you to be his girlfriend. You need to have a conversation with him and be prepared to walk away.February 15, 2018 at 4:26 pm #683702
Give yourself the Valentine’s gift you need the most: start being honest with yourself. What you really wanted was what pretty much every other woman wants – except for Happy – which is to be taken to a nice dinner and get a card and a present of some kind, and give a card and present in return, that you enjoyed picking out. You said you just wanted him to wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day and you didn’t care about the rest, but I call BS. And you know he’s just not that into you when it became obvious he was not going to take you out yesterday. You posted here desperately hoping someone would tell you differently and now you’re upset because you got the truth. You stifled yourself and downgraded it to “I just want him to call and me and say Happy V Day.” And you would have done it first if several people here hadn’t told you not to. Anne called it, this is classic crumb taking. We all know perfectly well when Valentine’s Day is and what it’s for, we’ve been writing cards on this day since we were schoolchildren if you are American. Walk away from this guy who is generally making little effort and go get the whole cake you deserve. I wish you a great Valentine’s Day date for 2019!February 16, 2020 at 5:42 pm #785529
Sad, am truly sorry that this happened to you and am sorry for myself as well because its exactly what’s happening in my relationship. I want to let go so bad but its so damn hard. You need to be happy and for you to achieve that, you need to raise your chin high and walk away knowing he didn’t break you but lost the best thing he could ever have.
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