Home › Forums › How To Get My Ex Back › Will no contact work on someone I was dating?
- This topic has 4 replies and was last updated 2 years, 7 months ago by
Lane.
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BlossomTree
Hello
I was dating someone for around a month and it started perfect. He was very into me, made plans, was discussing future plans, would hold my hand tell me how much he liked me, deleted dating apps etc etc. Anyway long story short I suddenly got a cancelled date then a “thought I had time for a relationship but I don’t and oh I don’t think there’s a great spark”. So I wished him all the best and said I was shocked but deleted number and social media followings but he still follows me (and still watches my stories!).
Anyway I’ve made 0 contact at all. I really thought this was going great and not sure why he’s bothered to watch my stories but will no contact work? Is he likely to ever return?
T from NY
Ugh. That’s no fun. Gurl it hurts but you gotta let this one float right back out to the universe where he came from. Not only did he say he didn’t want a relationship – the death stroke was when he said he didn’t feel a spark. Please don’t ever wish back a guy who says that to you.
I understand you thought everything was perfect. Let me explain to you why. Look up the stages a man falls in love. It can be very different for women. Men are all about wooing you in the beginning. So you rarely get to see the “real man” or their real feelings. They aren’t being deceitful – they just have the goal of ‘winning’ you -then- they make a decision. This all usually happens within the first 3 months. So f they decide earlier it means they either really know you’re not a match for them, or they really aren’t in a place to be in a committed relationship.
Only long for what is best for you.
Liz Lemon
100% what T from NY said.
Also, about watching stories– when I watch stories on Instagram, it automatically streams random stories. I see plenty of people’s stories that I had no intention of seeing. So it’s possible he’s just letting his stories stream and yours happens to be among the ones that stream by. At any rate, it means nothing. Block or remove him from your IG if it bothers you that he views your stuff. Because he made it clear he’s not feeling it with you, and if you feel it will keep you from moving on to have him watching your stories, then by all means remove/block him to keep your inner peace.
BlossomTree
Thanks for replies. I never watch insta stories as I can’t be bothered unless it’s a page I actually care about and he wasn’t mad into social media either.
I’ve learned my lesson however. I won’t be trusting s**t that a guy says at the start anymore. But I’ve also never dated someone who was as open as he was and he was older than me/divorced etc so I assumed (wrongly) there would be less games and this level of messing around
Lane
No contact is not to get a man back but to give you the space and time to get over him. In these situations you MUST delete all presence of them and take the “out of sight, out of mind” approach to get him out of your system as quickly as possible…staying busy helps.
I would take the position that he is not coming back, nor should you want him back. He liked you but something was missing (no spark) that was enough for him to end it. Think of a guy you dated where there was something missing and knew he wasn’t “the one” so you stopped seeing him. Same concept, except instead of it happening to you, it happened to him this time.
This is the biggest risk in dating because one or both just aren’t able to catch strong enough feelings in they way they need to in order to continue. I know it sucks but its called the “school of hard knocks” and you will get knocked around but you need to get back up, dust yourself off, and keep on going :o)
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