Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Why is he ignoring me?would you ask him?
- This topic has 5 replies and was last updated 5 years, 1 month ago by
T from NY.
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Ashley
Been seeing a guy on and off who messes me around.
Some days he texts all the time then others it’s like he can’t be bothered with me.
I text him at 10am and he hasn’t replied (but he has been online,Facebook,WhatsApp etc )so 5 hours with no reply.
Yet yesterday texting
I find it so ignorant
Would you say anything ?
Or when he texts just ignore him?Paige
Something about you comes off as very young, so learn it now:
Guys like these are not worth your time.
He has shown you what he is – someone who is into seeing how many girls he can string along so he can feel better about himself.
Block him, unfriend him – do whatever you do these days that would be the equivalent of not taking his calls or having your friends and family tell him you’re not at home if he comes around.
If you say anything, you will just add fuel to the fire.
Stop. Interacting. With. Him.
Full stop.
If you allow yourself to be strung along like this, that’s on you.
Your decision. Your life. Your happiness. Your choice.
Bobby
Drop this guy. He’s playing games and not worth an ounce of your time. Read up on intermittent reinforcement, a common manipulation tactic used by players to string women along.
Newbie
You dont give a lot of details so going on your statement this dating is off and on. Off and on is not a real relationship. Its for fun, when it gets complicated its an off time and when he wants some attention its on again. Its all on his terms and Meanwhile you are stalking his social media presence, that will drive you insane.
Normally in a relationship a 5 hour silence means nothing. People have other things to do then text all the time. And Yes that can also mean checking social media and not texting back. You clearly have an anxious attachment style which can become very problematic for you. You may want to work on that because secure attachment style women dont need to check up on a man social media to play detective. They walk awayT from NY
We all have to take responsibility for our own feelings each day. We have to take responsibility about who we invite or allow into our lives. You cannot force a connection. When you practice self-love on a regular basis (it’s an actual task you have to work at) you no longer allow men like him to flit in and out of your life. The moment a man starts treating you badly, disrespecting you – I mean a stranger, a new romantic interest, or a guy you’ve been dating for several weeks — you get the hell out. The ONLY men you address their treatment of you is an exclusive boyfriend or a husband. And even then you don’t allow it to go on indefinitely.
You wrote this man messes you about. I’m sorry my dear but you’re the one messing yourself about by putting up with such treatment. Go forward. Love yourself better.
T from NY
PS also another really important thing to learn is managing your expectations. While men should not be allowed to only speak to you when they want to — any guy you’re talking to may not have the same need or desire to speak constantly. I know some days I’m very chatty. Other days I want time to myself. Again – live your life. Strive for balance and concentrate more on yourself than some dude.
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