Why do men look at their girl's facial expressions during sex?


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  • #384231 Reply
    HisPresence

    Sorry, if this is a strange question, but I don’t have much sexual experience
    I was wondering why do men look at their girl’s facial expressions during sex?

    I don’t understand my BF; whenever we have sex, he always look at my facial expressions.
    And I feel very embarrassed that he seeing how I feel, he kiss and touches my face too.
    It just sooo embarrassed for me, why would a guy want to see his girl facial expression while he getting it on?

    We’re a poor couple live in the hood, here have lots of lights outside at night, it won’t ever be pitch black in the bedroom, lol
    We close all the blinds but lights still shine in, and I am trying to avoid him seeing my facial expressions.
    To be frank, sometimes I just want to Blindfold him, so I can avoid his eye to eye contact with me when we sleep together.
    If not blindfold him, I’m going to put a pillow over my face. Most men wouldn’t like to be blindfold right? So it a bad idea for me thinking of blindfold him.

    —————-
    And how can some men keep up their “spark” and “affection” alive for long time? Don’t most men get bored, after they succeed get the girl in bed with them? They will go find some new girl, more fun new sex right?

    We live in the same neighborhood, know each other 4 years. And together dating officially for 1 year already, and my BF he still find himself flirting with me.
    I mean seriously, he no needs to continue flirting since he already won me over, and got what he wants from me already.
    Yet, he still flirts, still the same stares, the same way he looks at me, the same smile, etc…
    It just amaze me how he can keep up his affection alive for so long, I just don’t understand men

    #384242 Reply
    R

    Hmm you’re questioning why your man is still taken by you? Dont think so little of yourself.

    And he’s looking at your face to see if you’re enjoying it. He maybe needs some reassurance that you are. Don’t you look at him to see that he is too? This is normal. You need to work on feeling more confident in yourself. Seeing that both parties are enjoying can enhance the experience! But takes you being comfortable in your own skin.

    #384246 Reply
    HisPresence

    yes, i have little bit of low self-esteem
    i was belittle and verbally put down/mentally abuse by my mother throughout my whole childhood. so i guess from this i build up walls to protect my emotions from getting hurt.
    maybe this is why i am afraid of him looking into my facial expressions during sex.

    sometimes i feel i am not good enough for him, and wonder why he still so passionate to me after 1 year being in committed relationship.

    he did chase hard, he chase me for 6 months before i gave in to be his girl,
    i did give him mixed signals for the whole 6 months, yet he still persistent.

    we been together for a year already, and he still the same as the first day.
    still the same stare, still same way of looking at me, still flirting with me (which i find it strange, because after sex, the flirts dries out) but he still flirts.

    #384248 Reply
    HisPresence

    men flirt to get the girl and sex. after they have all the sex they wants, the flirts SHOULD dries out right? there no reasons for him to keep flirting with me (we have sex many many times already)
    yet he still find himself flirting wtih me, that is strange to me.

    #384261 Reply
    R

    Sounds like you got a good guy there. Try reading some self help books regarding confidence and low self esteem. There is no issue with him here so stop questioning his motives. It’s yourself you need to work on. You need to realise you’re worthy of a happy healthy relationship x

    #384275 Reply
    HisPresence

    relationship is good so far, he seems to be committed.
    we both in our late twenties already, we’re poor but we both are Financial independent with our own jobs.

    Out of his own willing, he did buy matching band rings, he said the rings to show his ‘committment’. and he wear the ring 24/7
    So he already put a ring on his own finger, telling everybody that he’s taken.

    Eventhough he didn’t officially said the “would u married me” proposal words
    He did say that he poor, and right now he doesn’t have enough money for a house, or a big wedding, or a nice ring for me. (which I repeatedly told him, I don’t mind any of those stuff)

    So if I don’t mind all that, he said we go tomorrow morning to register for marriage liscense.
    He said it many times before, I just didn’t take it as a “propose”, does it sound like a “propose” to anyone here?
    Or he just throw the ball at me, and let me be the one to decide when I am ready to married? He probably just running away from responsibility?

    #384311 Reply
    buttercup

    I tend to keep my eyes shut during sex, although with my last guy I had great sexual chemistry and we would gaze into each others eyes.

    The time i really try and hide my face is when I orgasm. Purely because lots of my friends have a giggle over cum faces!

    Sex is better in a dim light too. You don’t want it pitch black, nor do you want full on over head lighting.

    #384320 Reply
    Jojo

    I know where you are coming from. I had abuse in my background and with previous boyfriends. With my current he is very tender and the chemistry is great. He always looks at my face, stares into my eyes etc. Like you I didn’t understand it at first and found it uncomfortable. I asked him once and he said “because youre beautiful where else would I look”. I think when you have been abused or not had a man truely love you its confusing but if you can let yourself go and believe he is doing it because he thinks youre amazing then it becomes an amazing thing. It sounds like you have a good man there so just try and relax.

    #384324 Reply
    Lane

    Hi Presence.

    So many women would be GLEEFUL to have a BF like you do—you are one lucky lady!!! :-)

    I agree, you really need to work on your self-esteem, accept his love, and give yourself permission to love him back the same way he does you—you DESERVE to be loved, treasured, adored and appreciated whether your poor or didn’t receive it as a child. He’s a good man and I would hate for you to lose him because of the lies you were told as a child. Look into his eyes and let him know you love him too!!! :-)

    #384328 Reply
    HisPresence

    Alot of people say I should get ‘couseling/therapist’ regarding to my emotionally abuse childhood past.
    But we are a poor couple live in the ghetto.
    If you know what ghetto mean. Ghetto is a bad area, Cheap Rent neighborhood for people who make on the ‘lower income’ side of the society.

    We both have our own jobs though, so we fine with money, But we far from rich.
    I just didn’t think of couseling before ,due to our sex life is fine, he still enjoying it.
    Sex to him is completely pleasure, but sex to me can be uncomfortable, but I still give him sex whenever he initiate. So he happy, lol

    Any opinions my post above regarding to his matching band rings, do you take that as a proposal? i’m confuse myself, I don’t know what he really wants inside his head.

    #384331 Reply
    Raven

    He’s crazy about you! :)

    If you can’t find counselling or support group, go to the library & read or google & read online.

    Good Luck

    #384333 Reply
    Lane

    Hi Presence.

    It sounds like a ‘promise ring’ which use to be a popular way of saying “I’m not in a position to marry you at the moment, but want you to know that’s my plan for us so please accept this until I’m able to carry out the actual plan of marrying you.”!

    Is he only seeing you? I would however define a time frame so if he doesn’t step up and marry you, say within say a year, then you will walk away. Some men can string a woman along this way for YEARS, if SHE ALLOWS IT. So the power is really in your hands, whereas if he doesn’t marry you within the time frame you set, then you need to follow through and walk away if he doesn’t meet it.

    Poor people get married all the time, so if the both of you aren’t SAVING and working towards that goal, then I would definitely start asking the hard questions as to a specific time line. If he agrees to a ‘time line’ (one year), then I would suggest opening up a joint savings account and start putting in money for that purpose only. Need to make it very clear in writing as to the purpose of the ‘joint account’ so to protect yourselves legally in the event you and/or he decides not to marry so the money you each put in individually (need to document and record each deposit) can be distributed back to the each of you in full.

    #384336 Reply
    Ann

    Hi there, I am in a similar situation. I just don’t know should I secretly define a time frame without talking to him? Would it feel like an ultimatimum if I walk away?

    #384340 Reply
    HisPresence

    Well I am a girl in his own hood, so he dating a girl in his own neighborhood. His apartment is just few minutes walking away from me.
    I find it very AWKWARD that I am dating a guy in such a close distant, I find it to be some kind of “TABOO” or “SIN” or osmething. Don’t you think so too?

    We are in a committed relationship. Eversince his hard 6 months chase after me ,we been together for 1 year already. And he make it clear it is exclusive, and we committed, and monogamous.

    I didn’t think he was serious about the matching rings, until I see the type of rings he bought, the one in my avatar.
    I don’t think promise ring would look something like this, maybe we in the ghetto is different, lol

    He wearing this ring on his own left hand finger , everybody will misunderstand that he married.

    He said if I don’t mind he poor, we go tomorrow morning to register for marriage liscense.
    I don’t know should I test him and see IF he really going take me to register for marriage.

    #384342 Reply
    Lane

    Do you want to marry him? If so then DO IT if you honestly believe he will be a good husband and father to your children. If your not so set on having a costly ceremony (I didn’t), then go to the justice of the peace with a small number of family and friends to witness it :-)

    It SOUNDS LIKE the ball’s in your court, and he’s waiting for you to decide what you want. What do you want?

    #384345 Reply
    Ann

    Hi Presence, why don’t u have faith in this man?? As far as I know men won’t do this unless they are serious. I don’t think it will work if u have no faith at all. I have friends like u whose bfs have show major commitment but they still doubt and afraid of being taken advantage of. Kind of funny.

    #384351 Reply
    HisPresence

    Seem like just throw the ball at me, and let me be the one to decide when I am ready to married. Or maybe he just running away from responsibility?

    But he putting himself at risk here, IF one day I wake up and say I am ready to go register for marriage certificate, then I will know if he really meant what he say or not.

    I do have faith in him (somewhat), I need to work on give in to him fully on the “emotional attachment” as I am still ‘aloof’ in my emotions.
    I am trying to open up to him emotionally slowly day by day, it just my childhood past is not letting me gave in so easily.

    #384355 Reply
    Lane

    That’s a smart rational approach! Take some time to work on you, and when your ready discuss it with him :-)

    A man who really loves a woman will stick around…I know, I made mine wait 2.5 years :-)

    #384357 Reply
    HisPresence

    I realize it is stupid to “test” someone, but I really don’t have any confident in myself. I do not know why I feel this way, but I just feel this way.
    I always think I am not good enough for anyone, and I feel that my childhood past is a burden to those who love me.

    Thank you for your advice Lane,
    I am questioning myself, maybe I don’t love this man at all, why am I holding back too much?

    #384358 Reply
    Lane

    None of us here are licensed therapists so we can’t answer that question for you. There may be some charitable agencies near you who can provide you some help, or at a minimum, find some self-help books online that aren’t very expensive but can help you with your low self-esteem or how to overcome emotional abuse. I wish I could provide more assistance in this regard, sorry.

    #384359 Reply
    HisPresence

    It is normal for my abusive childhood past effect me this much in my personal life as an adult?

    I was belittle, and verbally put down/mentally abuse by my mother throughout my whole childhood, and one time she physically beaten me up, where I end up to ‘foster home” for couple years due to mom domestic ‘child abuse’ me.

    So from these trauma I build up walls inside myself to protect my emotions from getting hurt. I don’t know why I can’t seem to shut down those walls yet, sometimes I feel that I am a burden to this man.

    #384363 Reply
    Lane

    I’m sure there are some forums or support groups/agencies available in your area that’s suited to help you with those issues. We can only help in the “relationship” department. I truly hope you get the help you seek because once you work your childhood issues out, it will provide more clarity as to what decisions you need to make in the relationship. I know you’re struggling with this, and highly recommend you seek out the proper professionals/people who are better equipped to help you in this area. Good luck.

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