Why all the efforts?

What does this mean, “He always makes me feel like I’m not enough for him to fight for me…”

I’m going to be honest, I don’t think he’s that into you. This sort of behavior is very common for guys. Two years ago, he didn’t wanna commit, which he expressed clearly more than once. This time, by the sounds of it, he still does not want to commit. Guys can take you out on dates, be flirty, and what not, for all sorts of reasons. Could be because he was reminiscing and misses you, or maybe he wants to keep you as an option. Honestly, a guy who is truly into you won’t say things like he wants you to be his friend or that stuff about “timing” being the reason why you two didn’t work out.

Take the last guy I was involved with, for example. He knew we had limited time together before I had to move away again for school, but still he cleared his schedule and did everything according to when I was free so we could spend time together. We broke it off on good terms because it would make no sense to start a relationship when I’m going to be gone for 4 years, but we enjoyed the time we had. He never made up excuses about why we wouldn’t work or that he wants me to be a friend in his life. That is how a guy should be behaving when he is into you.

It’s not you. It’s not about you not being good enough, it may not even be about whether his feelings are strong enough or not. Some people only want what they can’t have, which is why he’s interested until you reciprocate and suddenly he’s not wanting a real relationship. People who are afraid of intimacy and commitment and who are *not* emotionally available can do this. They can’t handle when the chase is over and things get real and instead begin to feel trapped, no matter who the partner is. It is their problem and repeats until they decide to deal with it on their own and change, or not. Often they do not, for complicated reasons but reasons that don’t matter for you because the outcome is the same. Be glad he’s been honest with you, even if it is not how you’d choose to have relationships. It just reinforces that you’re not a good match because you don’t really want the same things, even though he’ll waste as much as of your time as you’ll give him (since he likes you and enjoys your company). What you’ve seen is all he has to give: fun times in the moment, no consistency, commitment, or stability.

It’s definitely not about you. People want what they can’t have. He was just pulling on the line to see if you were still there. He needed an ego boost and he enjoyed the challenge. At least you had a good evening and he dropped a bundle to entertain you, LOL. But I wouldn’t waste any more time trying to analyze this or figure him out and I’d just block him and never respond to him again. You’ve already determined you’re not compatible and you just got a good reminder of that.

Thank you Angie Baby. I’m actually glad I came on here as you’ve all given me very sound advice. I can see that he is never going to be the one for me and will cut him off completely. Really, thank you all.

you have got good advice. its not about you. but him. hence i doubt you will get what you really want from this guy which is a steady stable relationship leading to marriage. he will never committ. despite meeting after such a long gap, hes behaving the same with you. what happens is you like the guy and are hoping for a relationship with him. so when you meet and things go well, you start hoping. but he true to his nature disappears. and your hopes dashed. till the next time. if you can meet him occasionally as just a friend and have no feelings at all, then its ok to let this go on. but if you have evn an iota of feelings its imp you dont bother with him at all.