What is he thinking?

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This topic contains 7 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Elle 3 weeks, 1 day ago.

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  • #856949 Reply


    I have been speaking to this guy for a while, we have had a few dates and we like each other.

    Yet because of living in separate cities and lockdown we have not been able to officially date.

    We have been talking on and off over a period of 2 years.

    Recently he misinterpreted a text of mine and believed it to mean that I was not interested in him yet I reassured him that I was and I wanted to see how it went as mates and see if things progressed from there.

    Then followed a period of non-communication.

    I then accidently to my horror called him and he asked me if I meant to call.
    I have accidently called him in the past twice before when we were communicating more frequently and he didn’t mind.

    When I replied that I hadn’t and it was a genuine accident he got defensive and said that he didn’t believe me and thought that I had done it intentionally.

    Why was that his response?

    I am moving back to where he lives and I am wondering whether I should pursue it.

    I have too much strong will and self-worth to ask him but I was wondering if anyone could shed light on what his reaction reveals about his feelings?


    #857059 Reply


    It’s a simple case of he is just not that into you. If he likes you, you can just sit back and relax, he’ll do all the chasing and you’ll just know it.

    ‘We both like each other’ ? It seems one-sided to me. Phoning him twice also seemed desperate. To guys, it will seem stalker ish and will probably weird them out.

    From what you said, his reaction to me does not indicate that he’s into you. Why was that his response? Because he’s weirded out by it and thinks you’d done it on purpose and pretended you didn’t.

    My advice is to just forget about him and move on. I don’t think you should pursue it. This guy’s interest level is low. If you have will power and self worth then you will just let things run it’s course

    #857064 Reply


    Hi Mia.
    I’m a little confused by your post. If he is someone you’ve been talking to on and off for two years, why was it so horrible to accidentally call him? Do you mean you’ve only been texting on and off for two years?

    Even so, I don’t understand why the call became an issue. I’ve done that and if the person asked “Did you call by accident?” I’d say “Yes! Hahaha. But I’m glad I did. So how are you doing?” and just have a regular conversation.

    Why was calling such a big deal?

    #857365 Reply


    Thanks Lily and Sophia for your responses.

    Lily-I had accidently called him twice so it wasn’t desperate. It’s annoying how iphones do their own thing sometimes! Also he has chased me three times since I first met him so I was confused by his response to me accidently calling him the final time.

    Sophia-yes we have only be texting for about a year and a half but we have also been on three dates when I first met him. In hindsight I should have just rolled with accidently calling him but I panicked as I didn’t want him to think it was intentional and said I was just looking at his profile picture and my hand slipped which is the truth.

    #857368 Reply


    Hi Mia,

    I wouldn’t give this guy another thought. If you’ve already had 3 dates and nothing much has progressed from it I dont think he’s into you. A guy who is into you would be happy you called even if it was ‘accidental’!

    #857577 Reply


    Ok. Now I understand. I don’t think you should peruse this when you move back. He sounds like a jerk from the way he responded to a call!

    #857667 Reply


    We don’t know why he responded the way he did. If this has been going on for two years without progressing, I wouldn’t worry about it. He sounds like one of those guys who pops up when he’s bored or wants female attention.

    #858668 Reply


    Yup Emily. Mia, this is just a no. Believe me it’s worth waiting for someone better. If you actually want a relationship (not sure if you do, to be fair) but if you do, you want someone who can’t get enough of you, not just someone “happy to text” for YEARS. nobody said this on this thread so i just wanted to say, beware of “text-ationships” – iow a situation where there is no relationship, you’ve just been fooled into believing the false sense of intimacy created by intense texting but nothing more is something more than it is. gl!

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