Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › What do you feel if someone gave you herpes genital
- This topic has 17 replies and was last updated 4 years, 3 months ago by
Tallspicy.
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Peony
You want to have a vacation and adventure abroad, and you met this girl online sweet, educated, decent. After three months intense texting finally you met her, very compatible in many things, both of you had a wonderful vacation for a week, all perfect!
Suddenly you had rash on your genital, possibly herpes. You asked her, she had it too a day before you, but she told you she has no clue. Your doctor told you it is herpes.
What do you feel if you were him? What will you do?
Tallspicy
you should tell her. It sounds like you have. The reality is there’s nothing you can really do. I have never once had sex with anybody who was not a partner unprotected, and I contracted it her peace as well. The reality is she could’ve given it to you or any of your ex partners it could’ve given it to you or you could’ve gotten it when you were a kid so there’s not much to do. Other than learn how to manage it. To answer your question I would feel suspiciousBut since they don’t really know, it’s possible anybody gave it to you and you could’ve been protected and still gotten it. It’s unfortunate. I was with a partner, and I contracted it. I can’t blame him. Mainly because I don’t know that he gave it to me, and doctors do not test for herpes unless you have an active outbreak. Due to false positives and negatives. 20% of the population has it, and it is really unfortunate because you can be a carrier and not know.
Needa Lesgo
I’d feel shocked, frustrated, maybe a little angry toward the other person.
Me personally, I don’t even know what it looks like. I’ve seen pictures on other people, and probably wouldn’t recognize it if i did have it.
LaFrance
Peony & TallSpicy,This is an unfortunate situation for you both & I really do feel for y’all..I cannot speak on something in this manner because I’ve never been diagnosed with the infection..This is a lesson for all sexually active woman & men just be careful.Weather you’re in a relationship or not just take the proper precautions(get tested first &/or use protection)before you lay down bare & put your life on the line..Peony,I respect your bravery & TallSpicy,I see you in a different light as well..I wish you both the best!..
Tallspicy
Just to be clear. I never once in my whole life ever had unprotected sex with anyone who was not my partner and we had always done testing. Every time. My whole life! But they did warn me they no longer test for herpes without a breakout. You can do everything right and still get it especially from oral sex HSV1. I believe I got it from my last partner, but there is no way to prove it.
Tallspicy
You would know because it is very unpleasant usually the first time you get a breakout. It is itchy and painful.
LaFrance
TallSpicy,So would it be safe to say that maybe he knew all along that he was infected being that the breakouts are painful?..I’m asking because it seems like you were cautious & not intimate with anyone but him so if that’s the case send him to jail..
alia
I read somewhere that Herpes used to not have the stigma it has today. Apparently the company who was marketing the antiviral started the stigma campaign. I’m not one for conspiracy theories, but…
Obviously it’s an infection that can be controlled with medication. I wouldn’t consider it a death sentence.Tallspicy
No, many people are carriers and do not know they have it. Please read what I said again. A person can be a carrier and not know that they have it and pass it to someone else. There is no way for me to know who I got it from. It could be any of my previous partners. They do not test for it unless you have an actual outbreak. So it could’ve been him or it could’ve been anybody else, and I could’ve had it for a long time and been asymptomatic.
It doesn’t cause death, and you don’t generally pass it without an open lesion, it happens that’s the way goes. Definitely won’t kill you. Just uncomfortable and unpleasant when it actually breaks out. Also close to 20% of people have it.
Gracelyn
I would be angry obviously if they knew they had it and did not tell me.
I am always current with yearly medical exams but not everyone is.
Hope that helps :)
LaFrance
Gracelyn,I’m with you on that hunny!..If it hurts & uncomfortable the way it’s being portrayed I would feel like someone knew something before hand & that would be a problem for me,however,I would stay with that person to keep from bringing others into the situation..
Tallspicy
You guys are not paying attention. You can be up to date on everything and not know you have it. They do not test unless you have an outbreak. There are too many false positives and negatives otherwise. So you are most likely not up to date on this. There is no such thing.
LaFrance
TallSpicy,Its not that I’m not paying attention it’s all so confusing in a way because when you say that anyone could be a carrier,not know,& pass it on is one thing but then you say that one would know because its painful & itchy leads me to believe that ppl know when they have it..Most of the time I have to educate myself on matters that I’m not familiar with that being said I’m going to remove myself from this situation..
Gracelyn
@Tallspicy
“They do not test for it unless you have an actual outbreak.”
That may be true but one can still ask to be tested for it during an annual exam.
Are you saying that even if you are tested for it, it will not show up on any test, unless you’re in the midst of an outbreak?
Tallspicy
Yes, you can ask for it, but you have a high risk of false positive or negative, as I said. Which means testing without a breakout means the results are not reliable.
Tallspicy
La France, do you know what being a carrier means? It means you have a disease, but are asymptomatic. So you pass it to someone else who gets an outbreak. You would know if you had an outbreak, not who gave it to you. Or you get a first breakout very long after you are infected – so a carrier can break out long after initial infection…. a long time of non infection, not knowing and passing on.
Gracelyn
“Yes, you can ask for it, but you have a high risk of false positive or negative, as I said. Which means testing without a breakout means the results are not reliable.”
Thanks Tallspicy.
What if a person hadn’t had sex for a while and the annual results are still negative?
It’s always wise to discuss all of this with one’s doctor but there is value in hearing the perspective of others.
Tallspicy
False positive and negatives are not time bound. It has nothing to do with time. So if you have not had sex in a long time and get a negative you can still have it. That is the point. And discussing it on a forum over a doctor is like asking kindergarten students to talk about something you need a college degree for.
All you need to do is google herpes and all of what I have said comes up.
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