Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Text him i feel on Tuesday and no response
- This topic has 11 replies and was last updated 9 years, 10 months ago by
Sherri.
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ilgirl
Hi,
I wrote to this man (41yrs old) how I feel and he hasn’t responded and it has been over 24 hours and I saw he was online.
I met him over a month ago and we have been out 4 times. He is going through stuff in his life and he can be in contact and then disappear for a few days or a week or so and then reappear. He usually phones. I told him kind of that it is irritating that he disappears suddenly and doesn’t return calls or messages.
The other day he called after not returning my call for 3 days or messages. I told him I just got home. He asked where I was. I didn’t reply. He asked again. I told him out with a girl friend. He said in other words a date. I said no I went to gym and met a friend. He said a date. I said no…maybe you think that coz you are always out on dates. He said he is too busy with his stuff and he doesn’t go out on dates…yea right!!!
It’s driving me crazy not knowing what he wants coz while he is kind of in touch we don’t meet..it’s not like he calls me for a booty call..we haven’t had sex..he just calls to keep in touch. I am so confused and it’s not good for me. I need to know what his agenda is. Anyway, I am not good with words and get tongue tied esp. with a guy I like so I decided to send him a message. I wrote something like ‘Hi handsome..i am writing coz over the phone it’s harder for me to say it. I am not sure what you are looking for and it’s confusing me. You are in touch and then disappear for days without returning calls or messages. We don’t meet and it’s not exactly like you shut yourself off and don’t leave the house. When we speak you remember you have something better to do and then suddenly poof you disappear like Houdini J and it’s confusing me. It’s obvious that I am writing this coz I am interested and I would like to get to know you better…so ? :)’
Haven’t heard from him since. It’s possible from his communication history that he will be in touch with me next week but i think it’s too long…i don’t really care that his head is preoccupied with stuff in his life…he can take a few minutes to reply. If he does phone me how should I act? What should I do?
Thanks :(buttercup
He’s not interested. Very wishy washy behaviour!
And the fact he’s questioning whether you are on other dates, even though he’s acting uninterested???
Move on honey. Red flag behaviour!
Sherri
Sorry he’s just keeping u around for an ego boost.
Raven
Why do you put up with such non sense?
ilgirl
Don’t know why I put up with such crap…he is my first date in about 13 years… I was married. And I had a hard time dating…and being attracted to someone and then I met him…
He told me a few weeks ago that his mind is not here and he is going through a really hard time.My friend thinks the minimum he can do is reply.
If he will be in contact what should I do? Answer his text/call?
Sherri
Every time u CTC him it feels like he’s sucking u back in. I would completely ignore him. Go to meet up groups. It will help u I feel. Dating this guy is lowering ur self esteem n not good for u.
Stacey
I like the meetup group idea that sherri suggested. I recently did joined some meetup groups.
I also started dating my ex after being divorced and not dating for over 9 years. I got way too attached to him, he lost respect for me and ended up giving me bread crumbs of attention that I accepted for way too long. Then he dumped me and wanted to try to turn me into a friends with benefits – a slap in the face.
Its going to be hard, but you can’t let these immature men use and abuse you because they will. Good luck to you!!simone
Yep, like Sherri said- he is using you for ego boost. Anyway you can see he is not in the right place in his head. Just leave it. Don’t answer his texts or calls. Don’t give him so much importance. Good luck :)
Raven
Treat yourself… dump him & find someone new :)
He’s rude & you can do better. You don’t need to settle.
talllady
This will never turn into what you want. Just ignore him. If he persists, just say – we are not on the same page for what we are looking for, best of luck.
Be glad you didn’t sleep with him! This guy did not use and abuse you, sweetie. Dating will be hard if you see it this way. You just were not looking for the same things….
BTW, your note was a cool as that type of note could be. It was upbeat and clear about the behavior that was challenging and it showed some vulnerability. You could say his behavior spoke for itself, but it was very mature what you did to get clarity, you asked. Maybe next time, just realize a man who is not trying to see you is not really interested. He knew his actions were doing what you said, so he didn’t respond.
I am impressed.
ilgirl
Thanks for the responses.
What are the meet up groups?
I don’t know why I give him any thought…maybe coz it has been years since i have been on a date (divorced) and i really found him attractive and he has a very good career unlike my ex-boyfriend of 5 years after my divorce who never worked and was a moocher!!!! Never going back to that place!!!I told my friend that it’s my problem i sent him the text and she said that the text was written well and didn’t come off harsh and that it’s very disrespectful that he didn’t have the decency to give any sort of reply…i admit that I am hurt…i would have replied either way. If i am honest with myself there were red flags all along but since i haven’t done the dating thing in years I wasn’t sure with myself.
It wasn’t easy for me to write it to him and let him know how i feel so i am hurt but at the same time i wouldn’t take it back..i needed to do it for myself and I don’t think I sounded like a psycho :)If he does phone although I think that after sending him such a text with no response he won’t have the audacity to call now, i won’t answer.
Sherri
Go to meetup.com n join the groups there based on ur hobbies, place etc.
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