Strain on relationship


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  • #820797 Reply

    Sarah

    Hi guys, I’ve had a terrible week and I’m really hoping to get some advice here. Hope the ladies can shine some light on this.

    I’m living with my brother at the moment and he doesn’t like my bf. Long story short, he’s a hermit and has covid paranoia. I work in a hospital and because of this he’s projected his anxiety onto me by hating everything I do and had lots of drama e.g. forbids me to go out to see a friend for a quick coffee or go shopping. I Can’t even de-stress after work. It’s been tough so I decided to move out. The plan is to move out of the flat end of October and move into the new flat straight after and start repainting the walls and stuff.

    But my work just told me today that I need to move to a new city. It will be happening either in four weeks time or after Christmas.

    My decision to move out was so that my bf can visit me more, stay over and I could have more space without feeling hated on by my brother. Now that the hospital is shuffling me about to a new city means that I need to stay put in my current flat until December, no point moving to a new flat for two months when I don’t know where I’m going after. They said it could be a different hospital in the same city but they don’t know. It depends on the current situation. I feel trapped and depressed.

    I spoke to my bf about this and he said – the company is crap for doing that, but I shouldn’t be worried about our relationship. He said everything is cool and I should do what’s best for me. He said we’ll be fine. We’re already doing long distance and inevitably, I worry about my relationship.

    Because I promised him that we’ll be great once I move out.

    Do you guys think I’m over thinking this?

    #820852 Reply

    mama

    Yes you are overthinking it, probably because you’re on high anxiety at the moment?

    Your boyfriend is supportive. Appreciate that.
    Your brother is not — he’s scared. Respect that.

    You seem apprehensive too. It’s going to be okay, you are doing your best. There are things that are not in your control — you can’t control others’ fears (i.e. your brother), and you can’t control what’s going to happen in your relationship. To be honest, none of us can. We can all do our best. But you said you are already in an LDR and seem to be used to this.

    I think you are worried and that’s okay. But seriously ,how great is your boyfriend to respond in such a supportive manner?

    I’m not the kind of person who would be okay my company putting my life on hold while telling me I’m relocating but not about when. Ugh. Hang in there dear. :)

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