Home › Forums › Break Up Advice › Spotify the last connection
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Alicia
Hi All!!
My boyfriend broke up with me 2 years ago. He cheated on me but denied it. Turns out I was right. The gaslighting, lying and betrayal was quite hurtful, as you can imagine. Like he does with everything in life, he is always the victim and he played the victim in the end and also used mental health to emotionally manipulate me. I ended up in a pretty bad way myself because of the mind games. I think I was dealing with a narcissist.
I have him blocked everywhere. The one thing that annoys me is that he still follows me on Spotify. You can’t force an unfollow on there! Not completely his fault. My user name was just numbers and I recently changed it to my name and a photo.
I need to be in No Contact obviously. So do I sit back and hope he notices and unfollows me himself? Or do I unblock him, send a message asking him to unfollow me and then block him? I don’t want to sound petty but I need absolutely no reminder of this man.
cupcake
Huh? Isn’t spotify a music app? What does it matter if he follows you on there? Ignore him and just listen to your music.
This is petty, especially since he dumped you two years ago.Are you looking for an excuse to contact him? Try to rekindle something? Because that’s what it sounds like to me.
If i were you i ‘d not worry about him following me on spotify, but rather focus on why you are still bothered after two years.
Maybe you need to work on yourself to move on.EAM20
Sounds like you want to message him. Do it if you want to, but be prepared for the repercussions.
He’ll just see the spotify thing as an excuse probably, so just may as well be honest. It’s not abnormal to want an excuse to message him.
But I can understand why that small thing might be 1)hard to let go of, 2) something you need rid of to never see his name againLiz Lemon
I can understand why you wouldn’t want his name in your face every day if the relationship was abusive. I don’t know anything about Spotify, could you start a new account somehow? It’s too bad you can’t remove him. I wouldn’t expect him to notice & unfollow you, he might not even be aware or be thinking about the fact that he still follows you.
I would not recommend contacting him. If he is manipulator and gaslighter he will just get off on the fact that you’re bothered enough to contact him after 2 years. He’ll most likely take it as a sign that you want to rekindle something (I hope you don’t want to!). And he probably won’t listen to you anyway and will keep following. So you can’t depend on him to be a decent person and unfollow since it sounds like he’s not a good guy.
I’m sympathetic to you because I also dated an abusive, lying, cheating gaslighter, he was always the victim, nothing was ever his fault, etc. So I’m basing my advice on my experience. Contacting someone like that is the last thing you should do after 2 years. And expecting him to be a decent person and comply is just not gonna happen.
Newbie
I would delete spotify and find something else. Yeah i know i sound crazy but i find it extremely invase that a program i use allows people to follow you and you cant even block them. Thats so wrong. For me that would be reason to delete. If your ex was so horrible then the last thing you need is getting sights from him and you knowing what music you play? God i would sue spotify
Newbie
I think my 12 yo niece has that where she is being followed by a 40 plus guy on tiktok. Her brothers call him pedo but its just not right.
Newbie
Youre not alone. I was reading some Tweets and one person mentioned this: make a playlist called ‘please unfollow me, you know who you are’. A playlist about whatever feels right for you lol
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