Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Silence after great first date
- This topic has 3 replies and was last updated 9 years, 9 months ago by
tallady.
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Jane
I went out with a guy I met online. He asked me to dinner for last Tuesday and we met up around 6 after we both got off work. We had dinner and a couple drinks and there wasn’t a single awkward moment from the time we said “hello” until he took me home.
After dinner we went for a late night walk, held hands, and he was completely charming, sweet, and a perfect gentleman. We spent the later part of the night making out a bit and then decided to head home but once we got in his car things got pretty heated. We didn’t have sex and he was mindful of my boundaries and for the most part it was just making out and heavy petting. I’m sure I made it clear that we were NOT going to have sex that night and he even said he was happy with just kissing. He dropped me home, we kissed goodnight a bit more and it seemed to be a great first date.Cue to the next day and I hear nothing from him. He works a lot and has school on the side (we’re both late-20s) so I know he’s a busy guy and appreciate that. I sent him a text a day or two after thanking him for a lovely night and…..silence. It’s a half a week later and he never responded to the text and hasn’t said anything at all.
I’m not sure what to do now. I don’t want to send *another* text when he hasn’t even answered the first one because I don’t want him to get the idea I’m clingy, cant take a hint or something. I just don’t like to be left hanging not knowing where I stand. I’d really just like some acknowledgment even if it’s to say he’s not interested. What do I do?Sherri
I think a guy is allowed 48 hours to send you a text after the 1st date. If he doesn’t that is an unspoken sign that he is not interested. Guys usually do not like to hurt women and prefer to do the fade out. When you sent the text and he did not respond, it shows that he is not interested. Leave it be. Go on a date with another guy. This one is not interested.
Also it may have been a great date for you but may be not so much for him. Or may be he was looking for a hookup only and realised that you are not the one for it. Deciphering what happened will drive you mad …. don’t go there.
For next time, do not send a text after a date. Thank the person at the end of the night and that’s it. Its the guys job to send you a text and if he doesn’t that means he is not interested.
Raven
Hi Jane,
Unfortunately, his lack of response is your response… Thank yourself for not having sex with this guy, as that’s all he wanted. Don’t send him a text & remove his number from your phone – Sorry!tallady
Jane,
Firstly, you know where you stand. Which is no more dates with man. Please do nothing else to let him reject you outright.
FIRST DATE RULES:
NO HEAVY PETTING IN CARS: Did you heavy pet in a car on the first date???? I am sorry, but that is maybe way too much!!!! I tend to think that might have been worse than having sex with him. Next time keep it PG 13 – no more than 2nd base max.
NEVER CONTACT HIM FIRST AFTER A DATE: Sorry sweetness, that is their job. When you thank someone days later – what you are saying is “I have been waiting for you to call me, but you never did, do I thought I would check in and hope that you really did mean to call me. Did I tell you I was waiting by the phone?” The only possible exception is when you have a very rushed goodbye where you did not get to thank him gratuitously.
IF YOU CONTACT HIM AND HE DOES NOT RESPOND: Lose his number. Game over. Sad, but true.
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